Waiting

I'm terrible at waiting. Whenever I am asked what I consider to be my biggest weakness, without hesitation I tell them patience. I don't scream and shout in traffic or demand that my family be on the time at the precise second we are to leave, but in certain areas of my life I am very impatient.

I struggle to wait for myself. What I mean is that when I know that there is an area that I need to improve upon, I get frustrated when I don't arrive at my goal immediately. Whether it's trying to stay disciplined spiritually or striving to order my days better, it chaffs me when I can't work out the details right away.

Then there is the area of God's desire for my life. Like many of you have probably done at some point in your life, I long to know for certain where it is that God wants to use me and to what extent. This doesn't mean that I'm looking to get out of what I'm doing now but it does mean that I want to make certain that all I am doing is what God wants me to do.

The last thing I want is to look back on the ministry that God has given me and regret that I settled for less. Did I teach as faithfully as I knew how? Was I as available as I could be to those that I served? Did I take "chances" in my ministry and strive to accomplish what hadn't been done before? Was I usable?

It's a good thing that I have to wait for those answers.