Love and marriage

I had the privilege of preaching yesterday at the church where I serve since the senior pastor was out of town. Preaching and teaching is what I enjoy and feel called to the most, so I never turn down the opportunity to do so.

The passage I preached from was Ephesians 5:22-33, which is the apostle Paul's instructions from God to husbands and wives. In these verses, the wives are instructed to submit to their husbands as to the Lord and the husbands are exhorted to love their wives as Christ loved the church and as they would their own bodies. Admittedly, a lot of people get hung up on the "wives submit" part and miss the rest of the message, but it's so important to read and understand "the rest of the story."

Nowhere in the Bible is this idea of spousal submission akin to a slave-master relationship. Ephesians 5 clearly states that the idea of submitting is done out of love, just as we submit to Jesus as our authority. And the husband isn't off the hook at all. He's commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church, and just in case you don't how great that love is, Jesus died for the church. If all of this plays out in God's design, what woman wouldn't want to submit to the leadership of a husband who was willing to sacrifice everything for her?

The problem is that this model of marriage doesn't seem all that common anymore. Women aren't innocent bystanders in all of this but I truly believe that guys bear the brunt of responsibility. I've observed the same tired scenario time and again where the husband believes that his wife exists to serve his needs and if there's anything left over then she can have it. This concept is far from being biblical. Proverbs 31:10-31 reveals a woman who is more than just an excellent housewife; she is a shrewd and industrious entrepreneur beyond the walls of the house. Marriage isn't give-and-take. Instead, it's give-and-give.

Coming from a man whose wife enjoys a successful nursing career outside of the home, I can truly appreciate the contributions that she makes beyond just caring for our kids and our home (of which she does an exceptional job). And please understand that since I live in the same house with the same kids, I share in the same amount of responsibility of raising my children and keeping my home in order that she does. I take seriously my role as leader in the home and I strive daily to be a man that my wife will be proud to follow as her husband. As a wise pastor once told me, the most successful marriages are the ones that operate not on the principle of 50/50, but on the the idea of 100/100 where both husband and wife are giving maximum effort.