What NOT to say

Years ago I participated in a mission trip with my youth group to Nassau, Bahamas (yeah, I know what you're thinking, but we really did do mission work there).  One of the focal points for the week was to help local churches connect with those in their community through door-to-door surveys.  Each one of us was paired up with another fellow student - all with matching t-shirts no less - and we did have a lot of success because the locals were very curious what a bunch of white high school kids from America were doing in their neighborhoods (i.e., we weren't exactly on the beach). 

Each night we would come together for a time of sharing with the rest of the group about our experiences throughout the day and what God was doing.  One evening, a girl from our youth group shared a story that I will never forget and would never dream of repeating.  She told us that earlier in the day she saw a man on a street corner near where she was canvassing so she approached him in an effort to engage him in conversation.  After a few minutes of her talking and him basically giving her grunts for answers, she became very frustrated.  The next words out of her mouth were in the form of a question: "It's pretty hot out here, huh?"  When the man nodded in agreement she blurted out, "Well, it's a whole lot hotter in hell!" and stormed away.

We didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she told us this story, but we did know one thing: that was absolutely the wrong thing to say.  There are lots of things that we can say as followers of Christ that do more harm than good to the kingdom of God.  Most of the time we mean well, but if we start spouting off phrases like "I'm sorry that your grandmother died but it must have been God's will" then the average person is not going to understand what we mean by that.  In other words, we must be very careful regarding the words we say on behalf of God.

To put this in another perspective, our words are heard by everyone, Christ-follower and unbeliever alike.  Therefore what we say needs to be seasoned with salt and sensitivity. We must always speak truth, but there are times when we simply don't understand why tragedy or circumstances happen.  What we do know is that God is in control and He can work good through any situation, therefore what the world needs to see and hear from us is the peace that we have in Christ even if we can't explain the "why" of every situation. 

As I type these words a local high school student is clinging to life after a tragic car accident.  He is surrounded by friends who are grasping desperately for hope and answers as to why this happened.  Many of his fellow students are believers who find themselves leading prayer vigils where the rest of the student body is looking to them for leadership and strength.  These students who are believers are going to be asked "Why?" and "How could this happen?" probably more than once.  No one knows why and, while followers of Christ know the good that God can bring out of a situation like this, those who don't follow Christ simply don't and can't see it that way.  Perhaps what is not said will speak much more loudly than a casually tossed phrase, a hug and a smile more than an ill-thought analogy.  What an opportunity to demonstrate the peace that passes all understanding that only Christ can bring!