Up until that time in my life I had driven nothing but cars with automatic transmissions. Stick shift cars were not even on my radar. My boss owned a small dump truck that was a three speed and we regularly filled it up with construction trash that needed to be taken to the city dump. We all had our roles to play on the work sites and driving to the dump was not one of my assigned duties. Until the day my boss threw me the keys.
The dump truck was full - really full - and we needed to empty it so that we could take it to another work site. The other guys that normally drove it were already on the new site so the short straw fell to me. I told my boss that I had never really driven stick shift before and he responded bluntly with, "Today you do."
I've been on smoother trips before. Pulling away from the job site was easy because the road was flat and I could proceed with a little bit of confidence. But then came the hill. This neighborhood exited onto a busy street guarded by a stop sign at the pinnacle of a small incline that to me looked like an Everest-size hill. This meant that once traffic was clear enough for me to pull out I would have to release the clutch/ease off the brakes/press the accelerator all at the same time. Practicing this in a small car during off-peak hours might be challenging enough, but in a fully loaded dump truck...
Traffic began to back up behind me as I waited for the right opportunity to pull out onto this busy thorough fare. My mind kept rehearsing the steps necessary for releasing the clutch and successfully moving forward. Finally there was a break in the traffic and I saw the chance to seize the opportunity. I eased off the clutch, took my foot off the break, quickly engaged the accelerator and the truck began to slowly roll...backwards. This wasn't part of the plan.
In a split second I imagined the damage I would cause as a multi-ton dump truck began gathering steam and flattened the cars behind me. At the bare minimum I would lose my license; at worst I could actually hurt someone. Then something amazing happened. It was almost as if the time and space continuum stood still. The accelerator engaged and the backward roll stopped. Suddenly the truck began to move forward, slowly at first, then with more momentum. If it was a sports car the tires surely would have squealed. Miraculously I pulled out on the road and was on my way to the dump to unload my cargo. Somehow I did it.
Just like driving a stick shift dump truck, I've been stuck before in situations where I didn't see how I was going to move forward. Whether it was the result of a bad decision I had made or was trying to figure out what the next step in life for me was to be, I have experienced that sickening feeling of sliding backwards when I so desperately needed to move forward.
To be honest, I'm okay with those moments in life where I've been stuck and unable to move forward on my own. Maybe it's because the best lessons are the ones learned when we realize that we can't accomplish everything on our own. This reflects the "God is my co-pilot" mentality - I'll seek God's counsel and direction only if I need it. But this speaks against one of the most powerful of God's promises to us found in Proverbs 3:5-6:
Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.God is to be first. We trust Him with everything, submitting to Him in all areas of our life. When we find ourselves stuck, those are opportunities for us to fully surrender to His direction and desire for our lives instead of us grinding the gears on our own, trying feverishly to move forward while we desperately try to stop our backward slide. It's okay to be stuck. What you do in those times will determine whether you will truly move forward or search in vain for the next gear that you can only will hope get you out of the mess that you are in.
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