Why are all these new "original" shows anything but original?

"Help, Lord, for no faithful one remains; the loyal have disappeared from the human race...The wicked wander everywhere, and what is worthless is exalted by the human race." - Psalm 12:1, 8

I love a good story. For years books have been my go-to if I want to lose myself in a thrilling plot twist or I simply wish to allow my mind to meander through deep wooded areas that are cut off from all civilization. Whoever said that it is easy to get lost in a book was not kidding. I somewhat lament that my kids don't enjoy reading as much as I do, however when they do find a book that captivates their imagination, I love to see how it invigorates their creativity and moves their souls.

With all of the technology of today, books have not necessarily become passe - but they have been somewhat replaced by the visual medium of movies and television as the dominant storytellers of our time. This isn't such a bad thing, even though most people will admit that "the book is better than the movie."

Streaming services such as Netflix and Amazon Video have produced more than enough original options to entertain the person who desires to spend his weekend binging on the latest new series or movie. In fact, these two services are seemingly pumping out more new content that the average consumer can watch. However, as I have taken the time to check out some of this original content that is being produced, I have noticed the tiring trend towards over-sexualization that has caused me to push the stop button and move in a different direction.

Why must there be so much trashy content in an otherwise compelling show? People complain about the sexual content of broadcast television shows and with good reason, yet streaming services have no buffer against the amount of sleaze that they can include in their original creations. And this is a shame, because honestly most of these shows contain enough suspense and intrigue to drive the plot forward without having to throw in sex scenes or NSFW dialogue.

Before you call me a prude and tell me that this is just art and should be interpreted as such, let me remind you that there have been decades of great movies and shows that have relied on the ability of the actors and dynamic plot lines to drive the story forward without the necessity of having someone bare it all or tell it all. "But this is the real world - it's everywhere! You can't hide from it and act like it doesn't exist!" True, but why embrace it if I don't have to?

The above verses from the book of Psalms illustrate where we have come as well as we are heading as a society. And you don't have to be a Christian or even a religious person to see the truth in this. What was once sacred has now been stripped of its value and has been put on display for the whole world to gawk at as if it is some county fair sideshow. When we as a society begin to place a higher value on that which cheapens a healthy and holy view of intimacy and sexuality, then indeed "the wicked wander everywhere, and what is worthless is exalted by the human race."

Yes, I am free to turn the channel and to choose not to watch these shows and movies. Unfortunately, there is so much freedom of content out there that one has no idea when a racy scene in an otherwise enjoyable show will pop up out of nowhere. I desire to not only protect myself from this kind of stuff but my children as well. You can watch what you want and tell yourself that it's just art, but I want to protect my heart and my mind from that which will drive me farther away from Jesus.

To all of you writers, producers and directors - I promise you, if you make a great movie or show and drive it forward with a gripping plot and awesome character development, people will watch and you won't need to capitalize on skin and trash to gather an audience. Now THAT would be original!

You can't judge me! Unless, of course, you can...

"Do not judge!" This is without a doubt one of the most commonly quoted - I mean misquoted - verses of Scripture in all of the Bible. Believers and unbelievers alike enjoy pulling this one of our their arsenal to throw at anyone who espouses a belief or an opinion contrary to their own. But what does this verse in Matthew 7 really mean? In order to find out, we have to zoom out and take not just this verse but the entire passage in Matthew 7:1-6 in context.

"Do not judge, so that you won't be judged." That seems simple enough. If you don't judge others then they won't judge you. If we stop right there then there really is no need to go further with the discussion. Yet this verse is only the beginning of the passage.

"For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Did you see that? This verse doesn't condemn judging but instead gives a warning: When - not if - you judge, be prepared to be judged in return. But wait, I thought the verse before said don't judge. I'm getting confused! Read on.

"Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but don't notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck our of your eye,' and look, there's a log in your eye?" People like to use these verses out of context too to fuel their argument, but they are inseparable from the other verses. Here's the point: The kind of judging that Jesus denounces - and the kind that should bother us too - is the hypocritical kind.

The whole plank in the eye refers to the perception of the one doing the judging. Have you ever had something stuck in your eye? If so, then you know that it messes with your vision pretty badly. Even the tiniest speck of dirt or insect can feel like, well, like a plank in your eye because it is so painful and consuming. That's the point. Judging isn't forbidden. In fact, we must learn to pass judgment on each other for the purpose of accountability and purity. But when you have failed to diligently judge yourself and your own misguided and sinful motives and actions, then you are unfit to judge others' sins and hold them accountable.

"Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Ouch! Nobody wants to be called a hypocrite but that is what we are if we judge others while ignoring our own junk. So what is the solution? Take the log out of your own eye - i.e., clean your own house - before you seek to correct others.

Here is the main point in all of this: None of us are perfect enough to pass perfect judgment. Only Jesus is, which is why He has the final authority on judgment (Matthew 25:31-46 & John 5:20-30). Yet we can and must judge others, but only when we are diligently pursuing God's holiness and purity in our own lives. This isn't always easy and comfortable to do, but it is essential that we hold our brothers and sisters accountable.

Let me finish by asking you one final question: If you were to see me pursuing a relationship outside of my marriage or abusing substances that could ruin my life, would you tell me? If the answer is yes, then you aren't judging me. You are loving me.

Hiding behind yourself -or- Jesus isn't into making lists

"Everything is permissible for me," but not everything is helpful. "Everything is permissible for me," but I will not be brought under the control of anything...

Do you not know that your bodies are the members of Christ?...

 Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body.

(1 Corinthians 6:12, 15, 19-20)

Do you have a few minutes for me to list for you all of the things that you should not be taking into your body as a Christian? Let's start with pornography. No one that I know would doubt that pornography is incredibly harmful and that it has no benefit at all to the human heart or mind. I know of not one marriage that has benefited from pornography. Oddly enough, I don't hear these words very often from pulpits across America. Instead, we prefer to pick and choose which sexual sins offend us the most - like homosexuality - while we shy away from the more obvious and pervasive issues of adultery and pornography. 

From there, let's talk about drinking. It's evil, the devil's juice, and nothing good can come from it. At least that's what many believer's claim. It is more subject to opinion and semantics, yet we can all agree that drunkenness is a sin and alcohol abuse leads to misery, disease, and death. But let's err on the side of the "stumbling brother" and declare all of its use abhorrent to God - unless of course you are baking a rum cake, at which point it is entirely acceptable.

And then let's discuss tobacco use and over-eating. Wait, you don't want to talk about those things? I mean come on, most of us are well aware of the dangers of smoking and tobacco use, aren't we? And surely you know the onslaught of disease that obesity brings - diabetes, heart disease, blood pressure problems, and so on and so forth. Aren't these things just as deadly and sinful when they are abused?

Here's the deal. Christians are quite crafty at taking Scriptures they like and applying them only to areas that personally offend them. When an obese pastor rails from the pulpit against homosexuality to a congregation filled with straight men struggling with pornography who just grabbed that last puff from their cigarettes prior to the service, then we have missed something here.

The oft-repeated phrase that "Christianity is not about rules, but rather about a relationship" bears much truth, but you couldn't tell it these days. Endless blog posts tackling the tough areas of alcohol and pornography are mostly helpful but entirely incomplete when they fail to address other areas of abuse. And I also don't find Jesus stressing endless lists in the Bible.

So let's look at what at least one portion of Scripture tells us. 1 Corinthians 6 (some of which is quoted above) records Paul's words to the church in Corinth. These Christians are struggling with all sorts of issues and they have also bought into much of the popular philosophy of the day. They have reasoned within themselves that "everything is permissible." In other words, as long as we act in moderation then we are okay. Paul corrects their thinking by telling them that "not everything is helpful." This truth is what most Christians latch on to when addressing questionable areas such as drinking. Am I allowed to? Yes. Should I? Not if it controls you or proves to be unhelpful. 

Unfortunately this application is often limited to only a few areas of concern and struggle, which is why overweight, smoking, mean-spirited gossips who claim to be Christians can sit in their ivory towers and cast stones at the men and women who drink a glass of wine. What this allows us to do is to hide behind ourselves so that we do not have to address our own issues of struggle. As long as I am engaged in the fight for your purity and holiness, I can overlook the battle for my own.

Look, I've been around long enough to know that we will probably all never agree on whether or not social drinking is okay or whether enjoying tobacco is a total offense to God. And I realize that the masses would probably storm the church gates once they finished their third round at Golden Corral if pastors regularly spoke out against obesity. So is there a solution, a common ground that we can camp out on?

Yes there is.

Do you not know that your bodies are the members of Christ?... Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? God indwells you. Whatever you bring in - be it food or drink or pornography or whatever pleasures - you share these with the Spirit. Think about the next time you choose to indulge.

You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. While you are justly defending the right of the unborn against those who believe that they can do whatever they want with their bodies, let these words sink in to you. Yes, you value and fight to protect life, but do you just as vigorously strive to care for the body that God paid the highest price to give to you? You also cannot do whatever you want to your body because it is not your own.

Therefore, glorify God in your body. That pretty much sums it up. If you can't bring glory to God in some way in and with your body, then don't engage in whatever it is that you are contemplating. This is a huge argument used to dissuade Christians from drinking, but when applied to eating it becomes the elephant in the room. So let's be honest, it's not as ambiguous or grey as we want to believe. Live to bring glory to God and leave the list-making to the religious ones.

You can't afford "private" anymore

One of the joys of being involved in student ministry has been the opportunity to engage the parents of my students in regular conversations. Once a month as the students meet in their small groups I gather the parents together for our own small group of sorts. We have spent portions of that time covering the same discipleship material that their students are discussing, but my primary goal is to use this as an opportunity to minister to these parents so that they in turn can minister more effectively to their own children.

The other night the topic for our student discussion was "Identity" and how our identities are established by God (Psalm 139) and rooted in Christ. We too often try to mask our identities with other things - relationships, popularity, athletic or academic achievements, humor, etc. - which in turn communicates to God that we are not satisfied with who He has created us to be.

As the students broke up into their small groups to discuss the masks that they normally hide behind and how they can be rid of them, I broke the adults up into their own small groups. They discussed amongst themselves not only the masks that they hid behind when they were younger but also the masks that they see as prevalent in the lives of their own children today. It was amazing to see and hear the transparency displayed by this group of parents!

I brought the parents back together as a large group for the remaining time because I wanted to share with them one of the most harmful masks that students are prone to hide behind: A distorted view of sexuality. Consider these statistics that I shared with them:

• By age 18, 93% of all boys and 62% of all girls have been exposed to internet pornography
• 31% of all teenagers admit to having "sexted" (sending sexual images of themselves via text or Snap Chat), and of that number 56% are girls
• 1 of every 5 mobile search made is for pornography

When asked for a show of hands, almost all of the parents in the room admitted that their child had either a smart phone or an iPod type device and none of their children paid the full bill either for the device, the service, or the WiFi connection. With those facts in mind, I was able to help lay the groundwork for these parents that I now wish to share with you regarding what our role should be concerning "privacy" issues and our children.

It's perfectly okay to creep - to stalk - your kids
Until your children are out of the house, then what happens under your roof is your business. Since neither my kids nor your kids would own an electronic device unless we provided them with the device itself or the service, make it a priority to regularly check their phones, iPods, tablets, computers, etc. I don't know about you, but I want to know who my son or daughter is sending and receiving texts from. What websites are they frequenting and who are their "friends" on social media sites. I reserve the right to "unfriend" or "unfollow" anyone who posts unwholesome words or pictures that can influence my child. If my child is involved in teenage drama via text messages, then I need to know that too. In short, there is nothing that we can leave to chance.

Don't expect from your kids what you don't demand from yourself
We all shake our heads at some of the trashy shows and commercials that blaze across our TV and computer screens and there is enough nasty music out there to make even a demon blush with shame. So why should we expect our children to avoid those same harmful influences if we won't agree to the same standard that we are demanding of them? It's a bit ridiculous if one insists that his child not smoke as he flips the ash off of his cigarette, or if one demands that her child not use profanity as she drops F-bombs all over the place. That makes no sense, right? Well, neither does it make sense for parents to set standards for their children that they have no intention of meeting for themselves. If you don't want your children to do it, then you best be avoiding it too!

If you don't lead your kids, then someone else will
Some of you may think that your kids will figure all of this out if we just leave them alone, and you are right - someone else who does not love or care for them as you do will lead them in a different direction! No matter how mature or equipped for life that you believe your child to be, they all still follow the lead of others. This is how we all learn and grow. As a student pastor, I relish the chance to speak truth into the lives of my students and to guide them to make healthy Christ-honoring decisions, but I have no desire to play the roll of parent in their lives. If you are a parent, that is your job. True, there may be times when a parent is not around or invested in their child's life, but if you are reading this and you have a child, chances are you are more than capable of investing in them. So invest! You may think that your child does not want your guidance or leadership but nothing could be farther from the truth. Studies show that teenagers look up to their parents more than anyone else and primarily rely on them for guidance and direction. Remember, if you don't lead them, someone else will!

Consistency

As I was perusing social media sites this morning, I came across a blog post that has been rapidly making the rounds on Facebook. Maybe you've read it or seen others share it on their Facebook wall. In a nutshell, this blog post was written by a mother of three boys and one girl who, along with her husband, regularly check the social media sites that her kids frequent to make sure that the content is acceptable. Bravo! My wife and I do the same with our middle school daughter and, like the author of the blog, we edit as we see fit and "unfollow" some of our daughter's "friends" who are posting pics and phrases that we don't want our children to see (or us to see for that matter).

Many don't think it's right for parents to "creep" on their kids' social media pages. After all, they are kids and deserve a chance to express themselves. But what would I have become (or any of you for that matter) if I was allowed to operate without boundaries when I was growing up. No, I didn't have social media at my disposal (we only had a few cable channels for a while) but there were other ways that I could express myself in a detrimental fashion, and I'm grateful for parents who loved me enough to rein me in when I got out of line.

So as I read this blog post exhorting young women to be careful what they post on social media sites, I saw the words of a mother who cares about her sons enough to protect them from the harmful things that the world attempts to expose them to daily. As a parent, I totally relate to that!

It was then I saw the pictures that she chose to post along with her words that caused me to scratch my head in confusion.

You see, the author had just spelled out a well-crafted argument encouraging girls and young women to respect themselves enough to not post trashy "selfies" of themselves that will draw the wrong kind of attention from young men. But then she posts a couple of pictures of her boys, shirtless and posing/flexing on the beach. Hmmm, that's odd. Didn't she just warn her boys against the dangers of female flesh online only to turn around and essentially do the same?

Now some of you might think this is harmless. After all, boys are more stimulated by sight than girls, so the same rules don't necessarily apply, right? Not to mention that the pictures that girls post on Facebook or Twitter are much different than the playful pictures that the author of this blog posted of her sons, right?

Regardless of how you react to all of this (and if you read the article in question you will find that there are many comments at the bottom of the page written by men and women who have lots of opinions), there is one question that immediately came to my mind after reading the article and then seeing the accompanying pictures:

Where is the consistency?

I realize that my job as a parent is one of the most important responsibility that I have ever been given. There is so much at stake. If I rebuke my children for yelling at each other, but then turn around and raise my voice at them, then I have lost a bit of my parental clout. If I am not consistent in what I teach my children, then how can I expect them to be consistent in their own decisions and behavior?

Does it make sense for a chain smoker to preach against the evils of smoking to his own children?

How closely would a daughter listen to a message on purity from a mother who regularly sleeps with the men she dates?

What if I lecture my kids on how to handle money but I can't control my own spending?

Where is the consistency in that?

This is not an attempt to slam the author of this blog, for her words rang absolutely true to my ears. Yet is does serve as a gentle rebuke. If you or I choose to put our thoughts or images to the page of social media, then we must be willing to bear the scrutiny that comes along with that.

Perhaps this will cause all of us to take a closer look at what we have posted on social media so that we can be sure that what we have posted is consistent with what we believe. Better yet, may this focus us on living lives that are consistent with what we say we believe.

Drawing and blurring the lines

"How far is too far in a relationship?" That is a question that has been asked countless times by students and young adults who want to pursue what is God's best for them in a premarital relationship but aren't sure exactly how to define those parameters physically.

I've met people who have committed to share that first kiss only on their wedding day, a commendable act of self-control and diligence. Then there are others who found themselves involved in relationships that progressed way too fast, costing them their innocence along the way. Regardless of one's relational history or hopes for the future, we still want to know where to draw the line when it comes to purity in our relationships.

Many pastors and church leaders have tried to define where God's line is drawn, with answers ranging from the puritanical to "follow your heart" type gibberish. Just the other day a young man sought my counsel regarding how he should handle the physical aspect of his relationship with his girlfriend, and I found myself thumbing through a whole Rolodex of possible answers to give him. But what does God say? Where does He draw the line.

To answer that question, we can read a portion of what Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (NLT) to find some pretty clear cut answers:

God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor -- not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways...God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

Boom! That's pretty clear, isn't it? God is not in the business of drawing and redrawing lines for us to follow. His line for us is clearly marked with the words holiness and purity. God has a standard that has always existed and He is not One to redefine what He has already established as His truth.

Once we know where the line exists - with God's command for purity and holiness - we so often begin to want to blur those lines so that we can exist on them without having technically crossing them (which really isn't possible but we try anyway). "But," you may ask, "Aren't there different levels of purity and holiness for each person? Some can't handle more than holding hands while others are okay with a deeper degree of physical interaction." 

The very fact that you or I would even make the attempt to redefine what God's line is or blur it to fit our own desires is evidence that we are thumbing our noses at God's standard for holiness. Indeed we live in a culture where the concept of sexual sin is ambiguous at best. Few are the television shows or movies where couples wait until marriage to have sex or the married person remains faithful to his or spouse. Regardless of whether or not our society is even aware of where God's line is drawn, if you are in Christ then you most certainly are. God's line does not fade and it will not blur.