A non-PC response to an issue that desperately wants to divide us

Orlando, FL, in the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, 2016. 50 men and women dead in a club, all shot by the same gunman, and many more wounded.

That information alone is enough to crush one's spirit. It did mine. Who goes out and senselessly guns down men and women like that in cold blood? When I heard the news and the massive amount of lives lost, it hit me to the core and I grieved and continue to grieve for those affected by this senseless act of violence.

Oh how I wish that we could all see it that way, as a senseless act of violence committed by a man whose intention was nothing short of evil. Yet we are not allowed to see it that way, not in our politically correct world. By the way, whose idea was it to put the words "political" and "correct" together in the first place? Talk about an oxymoron!

The victims were at a gay bar. They were all gay, thus it's a hate crime against the gay community.

The shooter was a radical Islamist. He claimed allegiance to Isis, thus it's about Muslim terrorism.

Guns are the problem. We need gun control!

On and on the rhetoric has flowed. Is any of that true? Maybe some of it is or perhaps all of it is, but when we succumb to the labels and the venom and the finger pointing that the media and our politicians vomit on us, we find ourselves going down paths that take away from the reality of not only this tragedy, but any tragedy that we see or experience in our world. Real people lay dead, all sons and daughters who will never return home. 

So in the midst of all of that, I want to encourage you to turn off Fox News and CNN and MSNBC and I want you to close the Drudge Report page on your web browser. 

You see, what really is the core issue in all of this is not the sexual preference of the victims nor the religious ideology of the shooter or even the types of weapon made available on the free market. The root cause goes much deeper, all the way to the heart and the soul. The reason this tragedy and tragedies like this happen are because we live in a lost and broken world that has been indelibly marred by sin. And sin, when it takes root, bares it's ugly head in unimaginable forms.

Will seeing this from a theological perspective change what happened? Will calling it sin stop the next nut job with a gun from mowing down people in public places? I am not saying that we cannot respond in a way that offers prevention and helps those who have been affected right now by such senseless acts. Decisions must be made by those whom we have entrusted to make those decisions.

But for the rest of us who have the luxury of playing armchair talk show host while we busily click away at our computer keyboards on social media sites, our task must be different. We must begin by seeing the flaws in humanity as they are, not as we want to make them out to be.

The problem is sin. The solution is Jesus.

Jesus died for the sins of the world, not just the sins of those who are straight but also the sins of those who are gay. Not just for those who would one day place their faith in Him, but also for those whom He knew would reject Him. We are ALL sinners. I am, you are. And because of sin we are marred by it and we act in ways that sometimes only affect our own lives but more often affect the lives of others. If sin wasn't a problem, then Jesus would not have died. We all have sin and all of us need the forgiveness and redemption that only Jesus can offer. 

Because of that, I am broken in my spirit over the affects of sin in our world. Whether it is a drunk driving accident that causes fatalities, physical abuse of a child, millions of abortions around the world that prevent unborn babies from living the lives for which they were created, or even the ravaging affects of cancer as it destroys the human body, sin always leaves its mark.

And this is the perspective I am asking you to take in all of this: To grieve for the lives that were lost to the sinful acts of this man and to offer up prayers of peace and comfort to 50 families who will no longer hear the voices of their loved ones or see them over the next holiday. Call upon the name of the Lord and pray for a mighty rush of revival in our land. Do not fall into the trap of reserving your empathy for only those who look like your or believe like you. Jesus did not distinguish in such a way and neither should we. 

Maranatha. Come Lord Jesus.

Accountability doesn't have to be a lost virtue

By now you've heard and read all about the Stanford University student Brock Turner - who happened to be an accomplished swimmer - who raped an unconscious woman after a party behind a trash dumpster early last year. If you haven't, then I'm sure what I just typed sickened your stomach just a little. I hate to add to your discomfort, but his trial just ended and the judge sentenced him to only 6 months in jail because he believed that a prison sentence "would have a severe impact on him." Only 6 months for raping and abusing an unconscious young woman who had no way of defending herself. Wow.

I do no not want to dive into the details of this case because they are disturbing to recall and they are out there for anyone to see with just a little research. You can also find what Brock's father said to the court, almost excusing the actions of his son and quite possibly suggesting that our justice system was depriving him of having the fun life that he's worked so hard for. All the while Turner has admitted to drinking that night in question, yet he has never admitted any fault in the attack that he says was consensual in nature.

If your blood is boiling, join the crowd. The failure of any sort of justice in this instance can lead us to all sorts of conclusions and finger pointing: A corrupt judge who is a graduate of Stanford himself; a privileged student who used influence and money to escape blame; even a justice system that favors the status of elite whites over that of underprivileged minorities. All of these make a compelling argument. But the one area that is most glaring to me is the lack of accountability taken on by the accused and now convicted young man and his family.

It's not my fault. It really isn't a big deal. He/She is just as responsible. This isn't fair, I didn't do anything wrong. Why should I have to take all the blame? You can't do this - I've got big plans for the future and you are ruining them for me.

On and on the excuses go when we refuse to accept responsibility for our actions. Yes, being held accountable means that there are consequences we must face and penalties we have to pay. That's part of life. Yet somewhere along the way it's become acceptable and even fashionable to embrace an assumed plausible deniability in order to avoid any negative consequences for our poor choices.

Your. Poor. Choices. That's right, when you make a bad decision, that decision is yours to own, not mine or anyone else around you. I hate it when I make a bad decision and have to suffer the consequences. It's at those times I wish I could find a scapegoat to pass the buck to, yet I realize that in the end I have to own it. We all do. And when we see such graphic examples of those who seem to get away without accepting the responsibility and blame for their own actions, it brings out the most visceral of reactions in us.

While we are all to be held accountable for our decisions, there is someone out there who is willing to take the blame for all of the bad decisions that you have made. His name is Jesus. He didn't come to get you off the hook of serving your deserved sentence here on earth for your poor choices, but He did make a way for you to receive forgiveness that lasts for eternity. When He died on that cross those many years ago, He did so to forgive your sins and mine. Not to cover up your responsibility for the sins that you've done, but rather to pay the eternity penalty that you could never hope to pay by yourself.

Let's face it - our actions here on earth have consequences. If you are a parent, you have the responsibility and obligation to teach that to your own children. This is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you! couldn't be any more true or needed than it is today. And begin by taking a look at your own life and how you handle your own mistakes. Own them. Confess them. Accept the consequences. And then look to Jesus not only for forgiveness but for a better way to live and make your future decisions.

Ain't that a shame? No, it really isn't.

Political correctness. Just uttering those words can elicit a visceral response in so many people. Depending on what your personal worldview is will determine how you define that term. Basically, if what you say, do, or believe does not line up with "the other side's" point of view, then you are politically incorrect. By that definition, we are all guilty.

Before you read any further, I need to let you know something: This is NOT a post about political correctness, politics, or anything that has happened in the news recently. I try really hard to limit my commentaries on those things because social media is a powder keg for so many issues. Plus, whenever you or I put our thoughts out there, there really are no buffers of protection or explanation to truly make it worthwhile. But this IS a post about people, people like you and me and how we've been made to believe that what we have either done in our past or the things we are currently involved in today are worthy of shame and self-hate.

You know what I'm talking about. Think back to a mistake that you've made in the past or to some bad decisions that continue to haunt your memory. When those events define who we are today, then we find ourselves living in a bubble of shame and self-hate, convinced that we are not worthy to move on with our lives because, well, we don't deserve to. 

If you are a follower of Jesus, then I think you're tracking with me by now. If you aren't, I still think this will make sense to you. You see, the battle against sin is real and serves as a constant reminder of our fallen nature. When Jesus came and bled and died, He did so to forgive us of our sins and to redeem us for God. That's great news! If you have placed your faith in Jesus then you are forgiven and free - free from guilt and shame from your past sins and mistakes. 

But for most of us, the reality of this good news is not enough to move us beyond the incredible essence of God's grace. We still feel guilty for our past sins and, to make matters worse, we still struggle with many of those sins today. Just because we have received forgiveness in Christ doesn't mean that the temptation to sin magically goes away. In fact, I believe that it actually gets magnified because we now know the devastating effects that sin has on our lives and our relationship with God.

So we hide, lie, embellish, and exaggerate about our sins. We don't want others to know that we are struggling because, well, we are followers of Jesus and we aren't supposed to do those things, right? Yet we DO still struggle with sins, those areas that we know are wrong and offensive not just to God but to the relationships we hold most dear here on earth. Sin always hurts - whether it is ourselves or the others around us. 

Because (most) Christians hold to a level of absolute truth, when others act in ways that we know run contrary to God's truth, it is so easy for us to point the finger of guilt at them and wag it in their faces. In doing so, many hope to bolster their grasp on truth and decency while clinging to a personal track record that they hope will prove them "safe." And for fellow believers who stumble and fall? Well, this is where the shame comes in. Instead of seeking forgiveness and accountability, it becomes far easier to beat themselves up over their sin to the point of doubting not only their salvation but also their ability to even receive God's love and forgiveness.

The apostle Paul was familiar with this struggle all too well. Romans chapter 7 is devoted to the struggle that he still waged against sin that continuted to plague his life. "For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate...For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God's law. But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body." (Romans 7:15, 22-23) Translation: I know what's right but I struggle sometimes to do it and I hate it when that happens in my life.

Look, none of us want to be seen as failures, especially in our relationship with God. And when we do stumble and fall, it's so easy to beat ourselves up and create our own self-depreciating shaming culture. Do you know what that accomplishes? Nothing! I've never seen anyone grow in their relationship with God as a result of constantly beating themselves up over their past mistakes. 

What is the solution? Fight! Shame is not one of the weapons in God's arsenal. But grace is, and He has lavished His grace on us through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:7-8). This means that God's grace - His unconditional love and forgiveness - is greater than all of our sin. Yes, sin is real and it's ugly, but if you know Jesus as Lord and Savior then you also must understand that your forgiveness is complete. 

What about the constant struggle against sin? Again, fight! There is no magic pill to swallow that will make sin somehow less appealing when you become a Christian. In fact, because you now will be more aware of what sin is, it's draw may be even more appealing. So fight it! You have the ability to fight sin because the Holy Spirit, who lives within you, has given you that power. Paul also wrote in Philippians 3:12-14 that we are to press on in our effort to live lives pleasing to God. 

I talk to people all the time who are devastated over the sins in their lives. Some live in daily anguish and retreat to their own little prisons of self-punishment. Sadly, many Christians feed this notion into their heads, making them believe that they indeed need to punish themselves because of their failures. But last I checked, that punishment was already served. When Jesus hung on the cross, He died for sins once for all. It is finished. And no amount of shame or self-hate or punishment is going to add one measure to the forgiveness you have already received. So believe in your forgiveness and God's amazing grace and accept it, and then fight with all you've got against the sin that continues to pull you away from God. 

If you said THAT, this it's time to gain some weight

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew that what I had uttered was not true. I was trying to make a point about what it meant to be responsible for our own actions, but what came out didn't exactly match up with the truth I was trying to convey. What I had said was along the lines of, "God only helps those who can help themselves," and I'm sure that I had crossed far more egregious lines with my words before in a more private setting, but this time I was far from being in a one-on-one conversation with a patient friend. I was preaching a message from the Bible in front of the people of my church.

Now let me set the stage a little bit better for you. At the time that I spoke these poorly chosen words, I was in my young 20's and serving as a youth director at a small church on the outskirts of an even smaller town. It was my first solo church gig. The pastor there was a really awesome guy who, in the few months that we served together, took me under his wing and made it a point to give me opportunities to preach as often as he could (or that he would dare).

Not quite ready for the Sunday morning showcase, I typically sharpened my craft in the Sunday evening service, where more often than not there would be a few dozen in attendance at best. In case you didn't know, Sunday evening services at small churches are typically reserved for faithful church goers who never miss an opportunity to sit in their favorite pew no matter what the occasion. It was on such a Sunday night service that I made my biblical blunder, and the stammering and stuttering that followed only made it more awkward for me to recover.

Now to their credit, the church members that were in attendance that night didn't seemed phased. It's probably because they weren't truly listening to me in the first place, and who could blame them - my nerves had caused me to speak so rapidly that I could barely follow along! But I did get to have a time to debrief with the pastor and I highlighted my error before he could, which resulted in a few good-natured laughs and an admonishment from him to weigh my words more carefully before they ever reached my tongue.

If you buy an article of clothing at the store and it doesn't fit, you can take it back. Unfortunately, poorly spoken words can't be returned, even if they can be forgiven. What you say has instantly been put on the record books, and no amount of hemming and hawing is going to change that. In a world where politicians are constantly trying to deny saying what has been captured on digital media for the world to hear, you would think that we would be much more careful on the front end with what we say before we get royally burned on the back end.

Just the other day a well-known pastor of a megachurch - a man whose ministry I admire greatly - said something in his Sunday morning sermon that rankled a whole lot of feathers (just in case you don't want to watch the clip, he said that if you don't go to a church big enough to provide certain environments for your kids, then you are being selfish and you don't care about your kids and their spiritual future). The response on social media - at least among those I know who are in the ministry - was swift and one-sided. True, many had been waiting a long time to take a nice swing at this guy, but most could not get over the fact that this man, who has an audience quite possibly in the millions when you count those who tune in online, would be careless enough to say what he said.

Did he really mean it? I mean, as many times as he's preached in his life and as careful as he must be with his sermon preparation, would he have said such a thing if he didn't weigh it out first? To this man's credit he took to social media a couple of days later to apologize, stating that once he took the time to listen to what he had said that he, too, was offended by it. For some, his apology will be enough for them to move on under his leadership but for others it will be the final straw.

I don't think I have to tell you this by now but I will anyway - the words that you say are so incredibly important! As a father of four kids I can't tell you how many times I have put my foot in my mouth with some of the words that I have said to them, and please don't bring up all of the misguided and just plain stupid things that I have said to my wife over the years. When you and I neglect to weigh the words that we are about to speak, we can expect to encounter some pretty awkward and painful moments.

But there is good new for us who are prone to foot-in-mouth disease! The Bible has lots of great wisdom to offer about the words that we say, especially in the Old Testament book of Proverbs:

The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. (Proverbs 10:21)

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (Proverbs 15:28)

Do you see the trend here? There is direct connection between wisdom and the words that we say. In other words, if we take the time to think about what we say before we say it - if we carefully weigh our words - chances are we won't have to take to social media to publicly apologize for our blunders.

I was fortunate enough when I was in my young 20's that the careless words I said before my little congregation did not have many ears to irritate. From that circumstance and others like it, I was able to grow and move on as a more careful communicator, a craft that I still work at diligently today. As a pastor I understand the awesome privilege I have to preach God's word and the accountability that goes with that. But I also know that no matter what you do in life - whether your stage is small or grand - the words that you say will always influence other people.

Learn to weigh your words on the scale of truth and common sense before you speak them. It's always better to take extra time on the front end to formulate what you are going to say than to have to spend lots of time and energy on the back end trying to explain what you actually meant to say in the first place. 

The cure for racism? Love God, love people.

Back in the early 1980's a movie came out by the name of If You Could See What I Hear. I remember watching it as a teenager on cable (yes, we had cable in the 1980's) and, although it wasn't all that great of a movie (my apologies to Marc Singer, the lead actor, who went on to achieve cinema greatness in the movies Beastmaster and Beastmaster II), there was a certain scene from the movie that has stuck with me these many years later.

If You Could See What I Hear recounts the story of a blind musician by the name of Tom Sullivan who does everything in his power to live a normal life in spite of his handicap. Active in the dating scene, Sullivan meets and falls in love with a woman with whom he is obviously smitten. During one scene in the movie, while he is being playful with her, she blurts out a fairly blunt question for him: Tom, how did you know that I was black? Stunned by her question, Tom, who is white, delivers a perfect response to her: I guess I'm color blind too.

I don't remember much else about the movie (nor do I really want to) or if the two stayed together, but I will never forget that brief scene. Encapsulated in that moment was a powerful truth that I am sure has existed as long as differing skin colors have been around - racism is real and it affects all areas of our lives.

Wednesday June 17, 2015, will be a day that will remain etched in the minds of many of us for years to come. Dylann Roof, a 21 year old white man, stepped into the historical Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC, apparently under the guise of being a worshiper, and shot and killed 9 African American men and women in cold blood. The reports (and rumors) of his motive are still not entirely clear, but what is known is that Dylann Roof had a hatred for people of color. His desire that day was to eliminate a segment of our culture from this earth whose skin color was the opposite of his. This, my friends, is what racism and hate look like.

Racism is hate, pure and simple. Most rational thinking people will not disagree with that assessment. Racism is also sin and it offends the heart of God. Those who fear God and love Jesus know this to be true. And I don't know anyone who condones what Dylann Roof did or who would even dream of replicating his evil acts. Most of the people that I know and have talked with despise racism and many are fervently praying for racial healing in our country.

Yet here is where the issue of racism gets dicey for you and for me, and this is where a lot of you might check out on me or even unfollow this blog because I have now offended you, but I am going to give it to you nonetheless. You are guilty of racism and so am I.

What do I mean by that? Am I saying that you are a closet white supremacist or Black Panther who secretly hates people whose ethnicity is different than yours? Not at all. You see, most racism is very subtle, often avoiding self-detection. Your world view is shaped by the culture in which you live and were raised and when different cultures collide our perceptions get altered.

This is how it usually plays out. When it came time in school to pick a partner for your science project, you might have thought that the Asian guy who sat across the room with you would be a good choice because Asians are smart, right? Or how about when it comes to pick up basketball games? You want that black guy on your team because he's probably pretty good at basketball, right? Or when you see a landscaping crew working on a yard you nonchalantly count the number of Hispanics on the crew because most landscaping companies are composed of hardworking Hispanics, right? And when you hear of a CEO of a large company who either led his employees to greatness or jilted them out of their retirement savings, you imagine a white man in an Armani suit, don't you?

Do you see how easy it is to keyhole people into a certain category based purely on the color of their skin? And even when you and I believe that our motives are pure and even complimentary, the fact that I can believe that someone's skin color makes him or her better suited for a certain sport or job, I have revealed the roots of racism inherent within me.

I hate racism and I despise the fact that I don't hate it enough to completely avoid it in my own life.

Some of you may be reading this and think that I am subjecting you and everyone else to unnecessary scrutiny. After all, whether you are white or black or any other color, there will always be cultural dynamics in play that will determine perceptions and social mores. Hispanics have a unique heritage that people of another ethnicity cannot understand as do those of Asian, Arab, and Jewish descent. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being culturally unique within the framework of your heritage and expressing that uniqueness. I truly appreciate the diversity that I see around me and I long to learn more about the differing traditions and histories of people who don't look like I do.

Yet in spite of the fact that we can celebrate diversity and even share our experiences with one another, there still remains below the surface a labeling mechanism that assigns value based upon race. And let me go ahead and say that I don't believe that the majority of you reading this blog are closet skinheads or race baiters who want to see "your people" win the day. When we see raw and unbridled racism is makes us wince and want to vomit, as it should. But most of us are either unaware or unfamiliar with the subtle ways that racism creeps into our way of thinking, and this is where we all need to be proactive.

Simply put, sin lies at the heart of racism. If you have a race problem, then you have a sin problem. And the first thing we must do when confronted with our sin is to confess it to God and then repent of it - this means turning our back on it and walking in the opposite direction. Jesus shed His blood on the cross for the sin of racism. He died to set us free from it. I believe we must also ask God to allow us to see others as He does. God could care less about skin color and that makes me want to be more like Him. Jesus packaged it pretty neatly for us in Matthew 22:37-39 when He told us to love God and love people. That, my friends, is the cure for racism.

Culture has neatly stereotyped people for us based upon the color of their skin. While you probably never sat in a Racial Stereotyping 101 class while in school, our world has been busy teaching you these lessons since you were born. And most of us have accepted them as the norm, just the way life is. We need to work to reprogram our minds and hearts to see the worth in our fellow man that lies well beyond the color of his skin. This isn't an easy task since time has allowed us to take on views as if they are innocent and harmless perceptions.

I am praying for my brothers and sisters who have been affected by this great tragedy in Charleston. Evil seems to have seized the day, but God is never thwarted by the sinful acts of man and He certainly won't be defeated this time either. I will be praying for Dylann Roof, that he would confess his sin and repent, surrendering his life to Jesus. And I am also praying for my neighbors in my community who don't share the same skin pigment or cultural heritage with me. When I see them in the community or drive by their homes with my windows down, I want to do more than just wave at them and share small talk. I want to love them well regardless of any ethnic differences that there are between us. Oh that God would teach us all to be colorblind.

The Past Is Prologue

The other night I took my son to watch my alma mater, Wake Forest University, take on a local college team in an exhibition fundraiser soccer game. If you know anything about me at all, then you know that can be pretty passionate about Wake Forest sports, no matter what sport it is or how good or bad of a season they may be having. And yes, I even celebrate when the field hockey team gets a big win.

As I got settled in to watch the game with a few friends of mine, my son and his buddies went off to kick the soccer ball around with a whole bunch of other kids whose parents dragged them along to watch a game they could care less to see. Us "big kids" were discussing all sorts of issues, including the cost of tuition at Wake Forest University. I asked one of my friends who graduated a few years after I did how much tuition was now and, before he could answer, the two ladies sitting on the bleachers a few rows in front of us turned around and, in unison exclaimed, "Too much!" (Note: Tuition, room and board, and other fees for Wake Forest University bring the cost to a total of $62, 538 a year. Ouch!)

We all chuckled at that comment like grown ups do - which is exactly what made our eyes roll when our parents used to say things like that. It was then that I realized I recognized one of the ladies who had made the comment about the cost of tuition. Turns out we had gone to Wake and graduated together. And it also turned out that the other woman with her happened to be married to an older fraternity brother of mine, who come walking along a few minutes later. Small world, huh?

For the next hour we chatted and caught up on what each other was doing in life and if we knew where so-and-so was now. I will admit, by the end of my senior year in college I had pretty much drifted free of the fraternity scene, but I still had some fond memories to share and this frat brother of mine was certainly one of those guys who left a lasting and good impression on me. I happened to mention to him the reason why I dropped out of the fraternity my senior year - it was due to an incident that I had incited because of an enormous lapse of judgment - and he mentioned that he would like to hear the whole story sometime.

It was at the moment that I paused and shifted gears pretty quickly to another topic. Not only did I not want to share what happened (and I didn't) but the memory of it was pushed way back into the recesses of my mind. That was a painful time in my life, one marked by poor decisions and distance from God. While I learned a lot about myself and what I did and didn't want out of life as a result of those few years, more than anything it was a time that God used to mold and refine me as if in the fire. As a result, I had no desire to revisit some of those memories, choosing instead to focus on where God has brought me by His grace.

An old friend and mentor, Thomas Young, used to tell me that "the past is prologue." By that he meant that what you have done in your past - all of your sins and mistakes and disobedience - are not the things that are meant to define you. Sure, they help to shape who you are today but, if you are like me, they are a far cry of who you are now and of where God has brought you on your life's journey. God's grace covers you and makes you new. That's why Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that if you are in Christ, i.e. if you have accepted His gift of grace and forgiveness, then you are a new creation - the old has passed away, the new has come.

When the game was over I said goodbye to my old friends, hoping to see them again in the near future. As my son and I walked to the car, I marveled at just how far God has brought me in my life. And more than that, I was so thankful to be able to share with my old college buddies where God was leading me right now. Indeed, the past is prologue.

Simple is as simple does

As 2015 rapidly approaches, there are many who are furiously planning how they want their lives to be improved in the coming year. There will be commitments for exercise and weight loss; striving for more discipline at work or in the classroom; setting goals for productivity; or just wanting less stress and more free time.

Whatever your aim for 2015 is, I am on your side! I just wish that January 1 came with a magic tonic to help all of us achieve these lofty goals that we set for ourselves. But alas, there is nothing mystical or special about the first day of the year when it comes to the changes you believe that you need to make in your life, other it being a marker for you to begin with.

Truth be told, I stopped making New Years' resolutions a long time ago for a couple of reasons. First, I was terrible at keeping them, but second and more important, if I knew that I needed to make life changes in the first place, then it would be pretty pitiful for me to wait until the first day of the year to do what needs to be done now.

So whether you are one who is really into hammering his stake in the ground at the beginning of each new year or you make the necessary adjustments as they present themselves, I do have one challenge that I want to share that I hope to achieve more of in my own life in the coming years:

I want simplicity.

That may not seem like a very detailed goal. After all, there are many ways to define what is simple and some of those definitions are not too endearing. Yet for me, simplicity encompasses not just a way of viewing life, but it also embodies a way of living my life as well. Here are a few things that I want to encourage myself and all others with in the coming years: 

• Simplify your stuff - Most of us have a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. And now that the Christmas season has just passed, you have more stuff than you know what to do with. Sadly, many don't know how to part with their stuff and so they hoard it, hidden away in some closet or attic for a time that they might actually need it. But we all know that those times rarely come, so why not get rid of some of your stuff and either donate it to those who truly need it or sell it online or at a yard sale and make a profit off of it?
• Simplify your time - Within this challenge I reserve the right to tell you to put your cell phones/iPods/tablets/TV remotes, etc., down and make time for things that are more important. Things like books and conversations and sitting outside to watch the sunset. For many of us, much of our time is wasted scrolling on the pages of social media or flipping the channels through endless crappy TV shows. Take your time back by putting the distractions away!  
• Simplify your relationships - There are people in your life right now that are there only because you allow them to be there. You may be stuck in a cubicle next to some guy at work who hums annoying Disney tunes all day, but more often than not the people that influence you the most are the people that you allow to influence you the most. Think about the "friends" that are on your news feed on Facebook or other social media sites. They are constantly negative and they post ridiculous if not offensive things about politics and religion and other people. You are control here. Block them. Unfriend or unfollow them. It's really simple. But beyond what you might see on a computer screen, take a close look at those people you associate with in your everyday life. Are there "friends" who drag you down or influence you in a negative direction? Then stop hanging out with them! Simplify your friendships and relationships by choosing to surround yourself only with those whose lives point your own life in a positive direction.

Now if you are still reading this and you are thinking, "This advice isn't bad, but it sounds an awful lot like that personal power junk I've heard about that will help you make a better you," I will admit, it does kinda sound that way. But I'm not quite done yet. You see, I've left the most important challenge for last because embedded in this challenge is the key to true simplicity. Here it is:

•  Keep your relationship with Jesus simple - Walking with Christ can be incredibly demanding and challenging, but it doesn't have to be difficult. Model the example that Christ gave to us:
• Jesus often made time to be alone so that He could pray to God (Matthew 14:23; Luke 6:12). Make prayer a priority, not an after thought.
• Jesus made time for people. You should too.
• Jesus showed compassion for those who needed it most. Do you seek to meet the needs of those around you?
• Jesus modeled grace and forgiveness well before He died to eternally offer it. You can do the same.
• Jesus sought intimacy with God and He knew God's word. Spend time each day in God's word and you will find that same intimacy.

Some of you just read that and are saying to yourself, "That's a lot of stuff! That's not simple - that's hard!" Indeed it would appear that way. But consider what I am suggesting: Free yourself from the bondage of believing that you have to do a certain number of acts of kindness or never miss a church service or have to appear a certain way in order to win God's blessing. Instead, cast aside your personal agendas and preconceived notions and pursue Jesus. Get to know Him. Talk with Him. Strive to live the simple and obedient life that He lived. Yes, it will be challenging and it will require that you give up some things, yet in doing so you will be simplifying even more so that you can know Him even deeper.

Those times when you just have to own it

The town that I live in, Southport, is a sleepy little movie set kind of town nestled on the coast of North Carolina. In fact, they regularly film movies and TV shows here (most recent being Safe Haven and parts of the Under the Dome TV series). As a result, for many months out of the year my town becomes a glorified tourist trap complete with gawking visitors and snail-going-uphill-backward-slow kind of drivers. We have come to affectionately call this the Southport Crawl. It can be annoying but we've learned to live with it.

Normally by now traffic crawls at a decently faster pace so that when I have to get from point A to point B it doesn't take me nearly as long. Yet I was not surprised when on my way home today from picking my two daughters up from middle school, traffic had slowed to an obnoxiously slow crawl. 5 MPH. No joke.

There were a few cars in front of me, but I could easily see the culprit - a little red pickup truck with its right turn blinker apparently stuck on. The cars in front of me were obviously anticipating the same thing that I was, that this driver would eventually fulfill his mechanical vow to turn right so that the rest of us could reach our desired location. But this isn't what happened.

After it became apparent that this driver was neither going to speed up nor turn right, the car directly behind it made a quick maneuver to pass it. Of course this move was illegal, but it seemed necessary given the circumstances. After another mind-numbing minute of driving at the speed of slow, the next car in front of me executed the same less-than-legal pass and proceeded unhindered on its way. Seeing that my turn was still several blocks away and that this little red pickup truck was not going to change its course or speed, I followed suit and made my little illicit traffic move and was soon on my way to my house.

That's when I saw the blue lights.

If you've ever been pulled over by a law enforcement officer, then you know firsthand the sick feeling that instantly manifested itself in my lower guts. I can remember as a teenager becoming physically ill seeing those blue lights and, while today was not so noxious to my system, it was still no less pleasant. And do you know what the best part of this traffic stop was? My two middle school daughters were in the car and they were taking it all in.

As I slowly pulled over down a side road hoping that the officer might somehow be pursuing some bank robber or serial killer loose in the neighborhood, my hopes were shattered when the Southport police car came to a slow stop behind me. I knew it. Busted.

Scrambling for my license and registration, I immediately began to field questions from my youngest daughter. "Dad, are you in trouble?" Maybe. "Dad, have you ever gotten a ticket before?" Yes, but that was a long time ago. "Dad, what do you think mom is going to say?" Okay, that's enough questions for now.

My oldest daughter seemed to be taking all of this quite well. In fact, she was actively texting on her phone while all of this was going down. Realizing that my reputation was at stake - and that the local paper would no doubt print an article about the local pastor cited for reckless driving - I quickly instructed my daughter that if she texted anyone about this that she would lose her phone indefinitely. I have never seen her phone find its home in her pocket so quickly.

As the officer approached my door, I rolled down the window and put on my most pleasant face. Since Southport is such a small town, I instantly recognized the officer although I did not know him personally. Had I ever bought him a cup of coffee before? Surely I waved at him multiple times before, proving that this was merely a slight indiscretion committed by a normally upstanding citizen. It was time to see how this was going to play out.

"Do you know why I stopped you?" he asked. Of course I knew why he pulled me over. I passed a slow car in a no passing zone in front of God and everybody. Yet I still had a choice in how I would answer. Would I feign ignorance? Perhaps I would gesture to my children in the car and tell him that one of them was about to pop a bladder she had to pee so bad. Or maybe I would pull the reverend card and promise to pray for him everyday for a week.

But that's not what I did. You see, in spite of my poor judgment, I instantly saw this as a teaching moment for my children. I had made a poor decision and there was no way I was going to try to fudge my way out of it. "Yes sir, I know why you stopped me. I passed a slow vehicle. It was wrong and I know it." Yes, that's what I actually said, but I did so in my big boy voice.

He kind of chuckled and, as he took my license and registration, he said, "Well, as long as everything checks out on the computer, I'm just going to give you a warning ticket. Sit tight and I'll be right back." Yeah, like I was about to make a run for it.

As we sat in the car waiting for the officer to finish his work, more questions came my way. "Dad, will he find those old tickets you got and give you another one? What kind of other information will he find on the computer? Dad, have you ever been to jail?" Before I could field all of those excellent questions, I noticed a slow moving red pickup truck pass me on the driver's side. Yep, you guessed it, this was the vehicle I so hastily passed. The irony wasn't lost on me. I waved at the gentleman and secretly wished we could trade cars.

My younger daughter saw the truck too and said, "Hey dad, there's that guy that made you get pulled over." After a few moments to let that statement sink in, I turned and corrected her. "No, I'M the guy that got myself pulled over." This was all my fault. No one else was responsible.

You see, it's one thing to privately confess my sin to God, but when it's committed in front of others then that can be a game changer. I have to own my public mistakes in front of my kids if I ever expect them to own up to their own mistakes. At that moment my hope was that my two daughters would see the value in honesty in the face of obvious failure. But even more than this, my daughters were also able to see a picture of the gospel in all of this. Grace and forgiveness (not getting a ticket), confession, and repentance were all on display.

And, true to his word, the officer just let me off with a warning. After all, he said, he's been known to be impatient too.