Who's got your back?

As I have gotten older I have grown to truly appreciate history. Not that I didn't enjoy history when I was in school, it's just that it didn't click with me as much as it does now. Of particular interest to me is the World War 2 era, probably because my grandfather served on a bomber in the Pacific theater. While he was alive I never heard him speak about  his experiences from the war, and what little I have learned has been from combing through old scrap books that my grandmother made and a small box of memorabilia that I discovered years after his death.

Books about the men and women who served during World War 2 absolutely fascinate me. How did we defeat Japan and Germany with little more than nineteen and twenty year old kids serving so selflessly to defend our freedom? Time and again I read of their sacrifice and work ethic and I think, "What in the world is wrong with me?" Harrowing stories of young marines storming the beaches of remote islands in the Pacific in order to root out the Japanese make for good drama, but beyond that is this sense of brotherhood that boggles the mind. Men running through withering machine gun fire to retrieve a wounded buddy because no man is to be left behind. Soldiers who, just months prior were complete strangers, now step in the line of fire to protect the lives of the guys next to them. A mantra of "we're all in this together" that superseded any rank or hierarchy in the midst of battle. These and countless other accounts amaze and inspire me every time I read them. Someone always seemed to have your back. 

This morning as I was having some time in the Bible and in reflection, I began to think about the many men and women in my life who have had my back over the years. As names came to mind, I wrote them down and my eyes began to sweat just a little as my list got longer and longer. Older couples who mentored me and my wife when we were newly weds and still trying to figure out how to figure out both marriage and parenthood. Childhood friends who stuck with me in my darkest days and are still there today when I need them. Mentors in the ministry who helped to keep me grounded and worked to gradually sand off the rough edges of my pride and arrogance. These men and women had and still continue to have my back!

I honestly do not believe that I would be where I am today if it were not for the many people that pulled alongside of me along life's journey and made critical and timely investments. Their impact in my life reminds me of how much the apostle Paul meant to a young man named Timothy who was charged with overseeing a fledgling church early in the expansion of the gospel into Asia. Timothy was young, but Paul reminded him that young people can still do great things for God (1 Timothy 4:12). Timothy was impressionable, so Paul spent much time giving wise counsel so that he would know how to discern truth from the lies and to understand the dangers of loving things more than God (1 Timothy 6:1-12).  Ultimately, Paul served as a mentor to young Timothy, loving him enough to give him gentle but firm guidance so that he could flourish in his life for Jesus:

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing those from whom you learned. (2 Timothy 3:14)

I am thankful to say that I have had several serve as Paul's in my life. And I certainly want to do the same for others, serving as a voice of reason and wise mentor-ship as they grow in their faith and careers. So, who has your back? Are you allowing others to speak wisdom and truth into your life even if it's painful, or are you convinced that you've got it all figured out and can do it on your own? And who is looking to you for guidance and mentoring - are you taking advantage of this awesome responsibility? 

We aren't starting over, we're just turning down a new road

This past Monday morning June 19, 2017, a couple of trailers and a whole host of people showed up at our town home in Southport, NC, to help us pack our lives up and move us up to Wilmington, NC. For several hours we sweated, laughed, grunted at ridiculously heavy pieces of furniture, and laughed some more.

Our journey to Wilmington began towards the end of last summer with a bit of a nudge. Both my wife and I sensed that God was moving us in that direction, but we weren't exactly sure why. My position at the church I was serving in was going and growing well - I truly enjoyed being both a Teaching Pastor and Connections Pastor there, helping people plug in and take their next step with God. Even though my wife is a nursing professor at UNCW, she was okay driving back and forth a few days a week. Our kids had all of their friends in Southport and we lived in a really cool community. Why move?

God continued to nudge us and we continued to pray for His wisdom and guidance. At the beginning of December, some dear friends of ours from Wilmington told us about a house in their neighborhood that had just gone on the market, for sale by owner. They said it would be perfect for our family and we should check it out. Being familiar with the neighborhood and loving how it was laid out, we said why not, let's take a look. We loved the home the moment we set foot inside of it.

Things began rolling after that. Within a week's time we had come to an agreement with the home owner and on January 31, 2017, we closed on our new home. We decided that we would wait until the end of the school year before we moved in, giving our children the chance to finish at their respective schools and to have that valuable time with their friends. In the meantime, we would venture one or two days a week to change paint colors and put our own touches on the place. Three days ago that house officially became our new home.

As you read this story, you may notice that there is one element missing. What am I going to do as far as ministry is concerned now that I am in Wilmington? That's a great question - I'm glad you asked!

Even though the future for my ministry was unclear, from the very beginning my wife and I had a peace about this move. Let me rephrase that. We had a intermittent peace about the move, interspersed with doubting and second guessing and moments of panic. Are doing the right thing? Maybe we misunderstood what God was trying to show us? Why move now when things are going so good?

As we wrestled with these realities, there was one constant at the forefront of all our planning, dreaming, excitement, and worries - God is faithful. He has a plan and His plan is always better than anything I could possibly scheme. So as far as what I will be doing up here, the moment those trailers pulled up in front of our new home this past Monday, my new ministry began.

I want to be the best neighbor that I can possibly be, loving my new neighbors well and being a godly influence in my new community. But my plan is not to just sit at home and be nice to people - I am actively seeking opportunities where I can serve and work and give of myself, utilizing the gifts that God has given to me. We are also now just a short drive from UNCW, which means that our new home will be open to college students who are looking for a place to "get away." In short, this new home is the beginning of an exciting new ministry for our family.

Moving is hard and unbelievably fatiguing. But moving is also exhilarating when you are following the path that you believe God has set before you. For me and my family, moving to Wilmington doesn't mean that we are starting over, because God's path for our lives hasn't changed. Instead, we are taking a turn along the way to somewhere new. Life is a journey and life is ministry. Y'all come see us!

Fix it before it breaks you

Beaver Bottom Church had a problem. Actually, they had lots of problems but this one stood out more than any of the others. It seems that the new pastor, Rev. Donald Doorite, was wanting to nix the canine evangelism program that had been run out of their fellowship hall for the past 17 years.

The distinguished Mr. Harold Winston Higgenbotham, lifelong member and self-proclaimed top tither at Beaver Bottom Church, started and initially funded the canine evangelism program after his daughter came home from a Disney movie convinced that dogs could - and should - go to heaven. Because Mr. Higgenbotham was such a faithful giver and dominant voice in the church, no one really opposed the idea. Besides, maybe dogs do go to heaven, they reasoned.

Now almost two decades later, Mr. Higgenbotham and his immediate family was long gone, having left Beaver Bottom Church in a huff after a disagreement over the color of the new carpet in the sanctuary. Yet the canine evangelism program was still funded in the church budget even though not one pooch had yet to be baptized on a Sunday morning. Something had to give.

When Rev. Doorite looked over the church budget items in his first few weeks on the job, the canine evangelism line item immediately caught his eye. "What in the name of potluck dinners is this?" he half whispered, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing on the spreadsheet before him. His ire was further stoked when he realized that more money went to saving the souls of dogs than it did to seeing that men and women in the community had a chance to hear the gospel. Something had to change!

At the next deacon's meeting, Rev. Doorite waited until the regular church business was discussed before broaching the subject of the canine evangelism program. He began by expressing how much he enjoyed the companionship of his own rescued golden retriever, Goldie Locks, and that the humane treatment of animals was very important to him. "However," said Rev. Doorite, "I do not see how we can continue to fund and staff a ministry with volunteers that simply doesn't work. We are in the business of human souls, not doggie goals."

To the Reverend's surprise, the backlash he received at the suggestion of redirecting all the canine cash was immediate. "We can't cut that program!" hollered Edgar Needlemeyer. "The dogs really like it and we've had at least one family join the church as the result of the program." Marion Twopence chimed in, "We can't end that program! Sure, puppy proselytizing may not be popular in most churches, but what would Mrs. Mary Swanson do without it? She's been volunteering every week since it began. What will SHE do now?"

On and on came the dissent and angry protests. Rev. Doorite could almost feel the mutiny in the room and he knew he had to act quickly before he lost what little control he had. "Gentlemen, please! Let's table this matter for next month's meeting when we can come back together for what I hope will be perhaps a more helpful - and less contentious - discussion. In the meantime, I urge each of you to look over the church budget and see how these doggie dollars can be better served in other ministry areas." While this suggestion calmed the crowd for the moment, the grunts, glares, and mumbles of the deacons as they left the room let Rev. Doorite know that he had more than his work cut out for him.

Okay, so this story didn't really happen. And if your church does have a canine evangelism program in place then, well, I simply have no words. But I think you get my over-exaggerated point. Whether it is in a ministry setting such as today's churches or the business world, there will always be those programs that have either run their course or no longer effectively meet the needs or vision of your organization. When that happens, it takes forethought and courage to realize that it's time to shut it down.

"But we've always done it this way!" "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" "But we can't cancel this program because, well, we just can't!" All of these protests and more will be heard when ministers and other leaders see the value in redirecting the resources that unneeded programs can drain from an organization. When that happens, it can be very difficult to resist the naysayers in favor of maintaining the status quo, but resist you must.

Let me share with you what takes real courage for leaders to say when faced with a deficient pet-program that many in the organization still hold onto with a desperate grasp - "We tried, but it didn't work, so let's move on to something that will work." It is this mentality that is missing in so many churches and business organizations, yet it can be the most freeing and innovating concept that they can grasp.

Vision was never intended to be static. It is meant to grow and flourish as we nourish it with our passion for seeing others benefit from our efforts. If you are in the business world and you refuse to adapt and retool your vision to match the industry, your doors won't stay open much longer. In a ministry context, if our programs are not intentionally either pointing people to faith in Jesus or growing men and women to be more faithful followers of Jesus, then it's time to pull the plug on them, even if they are still popular and draw interest among our people.

Failure isn't the worst thing that can happen to your business or ministry. Being unwilling to admit it just might be. And that's the doggone truth.

One size does NOT fit all

I took my middle and high school students to camp this past week and we had a great time with all the stuff camp brings - lack of sleep, filthy living conditions, every middle schooler wanting to challenge my manhood, stuff like that. But it was so good to have our students together for a week away from most distractions (we let them have their phones one hour every night, the rest of the time they are in the "Box of Woe") and to focus them more on Jesus and what He wants for their lives.

Now when you gather over 1,000 students in one place from churches all over the map, you know you are going to get a mixed bag of personalities and backgrounds in that place. Where I live, church is usually an afterthought, so many of my students don't have a church background and really don't understand church culture, which is perfectly fine with me. It's refreshing to have a clean slate with so many of them when it comes to questions of faith and how to live it out.

I don't usually throw the "I've been working with students for over 20 years" card, but the truth is I feel pretty connected to youth culture and what they do and don't relate to. I am certainly no expert, but I've had my share of hits and misses over the years. So to me, it is so interesting that churches and denominations and organizations are so quick to adopt a one-size-fits-all approach to not just student ministry, but to reaching people for Jesus in general. This week has definitely been a super fun week with lots of spiritual meat to chew on, but it's also been one of those weeks where I have looked around and realized just how limiting some approaches to ministry can be.

You see, I don't know what the dynamics are of the other youth groups that we shared the week with, but I do not that most of my students fall into the category of unchurched and dysfunctional family. There have been moments where they totally get it followed by that glassy eyed look that totally says, "You just lost me." And that's okay, because students aren't going to get it all the time. This is why I am so thankful that we can have these big weekly events together that don't have to define or limit how we are going to reach students. 

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years of working with students, it's that not one student is the same. Not one. The way that I approach students when I served in a rural county is different than when I served in a more metropolitan area which is also different than the approach I take now, serving in a coastal county that is over 80% unchurched. That's because one size does not fit all.

The only way that we are going to reach students - and all people for that matter - is if we seek to understand where they are in life now, not where we want them to be in order to fit into our template. And this is so difficult because I know that I learned a certain model of ministry when I was serving as a church intern and in seminary, a model that simply doesn't fit the context in which God has placed me now. 

So what do we do? We pray, we look, we listen, and we ask questions. And once we see students as real and diverse people with unique needs and backgrounds and not just a glove that we can force on a hand, we will continue to see so many of them walk away from Jesus. That's because one size does not fit all.

Don't sing it, bring it!

Several years ago I became the new youth pastor at a church in Yadkinville, NC. In case you've never heard of Yadkinville or you have no idea how to pronounce it, the "d" is silent and the "i" is more like a hard "u", so it's pronounced "Ya-kun-vull" by those who really know who to speak Yadkin-ese, the local dialect there. Anyhow, the students there were all awesome and a little on the country side, which was cool because it challenged me to be a little less "city" and uptight about certain things.

Early on in my time of service there, I realized that I had a group of guys that were gifted at talking junk. You know, the kind where you playfully goad other people verbally to engage in physical challenges, all the while strutting like a peacock and "bowing up" to them. If you don't understand, then you have to accept that it's a guy thing and it's just what we do at times.

There was one kid in the group who was small for his age, but he made up for it with his vocal abilities. And boy, was he country. When he spoke, you could almost see the syrup dripping from the air. His one liners were classic as well - he would threaten to "Put a knot on the side of your head so big a calf could suck on it!" or "Knock your teeth so far down your throat you've got to drop your breeches to chew your food!" This kid was funny with his junk talking, but also a bit annoying at times because he just never seemed to stop. I loved him anyway. Most of the time.

One of this young man's favorite sayings, however, was in response to junk talk that other people delivered to him. If I ever called his bluff or threatened to hang him out of the window by his toes - not that I ever did threaten to do that, necessarily - he would come back with this line: "Don't sing it, bring it!" In other words, put your money where your mouth is. Funny how he never backed up his bravado but, then again, he was all bark and no bite himself.

Don't sing it, bring it! This is a call to action to stop talking and start doing. It's easy to talk about all sorts of things that you are going to do in your life - do better in school, make necessary lifestyle changes, be a more committed spouse, make more of a difference in this world for Jesus - but when it actually comes down to fulfilling those words, well, that's when it gets hard. It's easy to say it, yet much harder to do it. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Think about politicians. Okay, don't think about them if you can, but that's gonna be hard because that's all we see and hear on the news today. Where was I? Oh yeah, politicians. They are the masters at saying whatever it is that they think you want to hear just so that they can win your vote, and then when they take office they are notorious for not delivering on their promises. They know how to sing it but not bring it.

The same is true of many of us who are followers of Jesus. Have you ever read something in the Bible or been given a challenge in a message that truly stirred your heart and you committed right then and there to live out that truth, only to fizzle out later in the day? I have. Or how many times have you lifted your voice in worship to an amazing God who you had no trouble praising with your lips yet never could seem to glorify with your actions? Been there, done that.

Why is it so hard to back up the words that we say? It might be because we overestimate our own abilities while at the same time underestimating the power and nature of God. You see, our God is a God of action, not merely words. When He proclaimed something in the Bible, it was always because He was about to act. There was no doubt that when He said it, those things would happen.

James knew this about God and he also knew that we were weak in the area of faithfully doing what we said we were going to do. Look at what he so skillfully writes in James 2:14-27

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Do you see what James is saying? If we say it but don't do it, then our faith is essentially useless. It's dead. That puts most of us in a bit of a pickle, because we've said and committed to certain things for God in our faith that in the end we've failed to actually do. And when we "sing it but don't bring it" for God, then it affects not just our relationship with Him, but our relationships with others suffer as well because they miss out on the work that God wants to do through us for their benefit.

Since it's almost election season, I vote that we commit to be people of action and not merely words. If you don't think you can follow through, then don't say that you'll do it. But if you do lift up your voice to the Lord in praise, or have your heart stirred by the Holy Spirit to make changes in your life, or you believe that you are being compelled to live that life on mission that God has called you to, then don't sit on that. Do it.

Acknowledge that a living faith is one that is backed up by action. Change your ways. Repent of the inaction of your past. And do what you know you should do for the glory of God. Bring it, don't just sing it. 

Share what you got or you might lose it

This past weekend there was a middle school retreat for the student ministry I oversee. Dozens of middle school students brought their glorious chaos to a weekend filled with fun, very little sleep, and lots of junk food. It was all aimed at helping them grow closer to God.

I didn't go to it.

On Wednesday night we will have our regular youth ministry time where we will begin with a teaching time before breaking up into our small groups. Well over 100 middle school and high school students will come for pizza, snacks, fellowship, and intentional time talking about God.

I won't be leading it.

What will I be doing if I am not leading these events? Am I sitting at home watching Sports Center or out on the town eating pizza and wings? No to both.  Instead, I am watching other leaders who have stepped up to the plate and taken the proverbial bull by the horns as they lead and teach our amazing students. These guys and girls aren't leading by accident. They have been placed in key positions to either lead or blend into the background.

Some may call giving responsibility to others delegation, but I prefer to see it as shared leadership. I know for a certain that I can't do everything on my own and I really don't even want to try. In fact, I am keenly aware of my areas of weakness and I do my best to bring people on board who are strong in those areas to make up for my deficiencies.

If you are in a position of leadership you have two choices: Share it or bear it alone. When you share leadership with others, amazing things begin to happen: People take ownership of the organization, they are less likely to complain, morale rises, and results improve. You have a unique vision for what you want to see happen - share that vision by inviting others to walk with you, not follow from behind. If you are hesitant to share leadership with those who serve with you, then they more than likely will not share the passion that you have.

What if you are not a leader, the one making the key decisions? You have two choices as well: Claim opportunities or clam up. Show a willingness to lead and a leader will spot you from a mile away. Don't be afraid to step up and take a chance at more responsibilities. If you choose to clam up, then you have chosen to set the bar as low as you might ever go. And what happens if you serve under someone who refuses to share their leadership? Continue to be available but also accept the fact that it may be time to look for other opportunities to serve elsewhere.

At some point in your life you are going to lead something or someone. If you are a parent, share leadership roles with your kids - allow them to invest their time in preparing meals and doing other jobs around the house. That may not sound very glamorous for your kids but it does take certain things off of your plate as well as equip them for real world challenges later. And if you are the leader of a ministry or other organization, don't even think about shouldering the burden alone.

When you share leadership you equip others to excel in areas they may not otherwise see their gifted-ness. If you aren't willing to share the leadership that you have, you might lose the opportunity to lead altogether.

If you said THAT, this it's time to gain some weight

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew that what I had uttered was not true. I was trying to make a point about what it meant to be responsible for our own actions, but what came out didn't exactly match up with the truth I was trying to convey. What I had said was along the lines of, "God only helps those who can help themselves," and I'm sure that I had crossed far more egregious lines with my words before in a more private setting, but this time I was far from being in a one-on-one conversation with a patient friend. I was preaching a message from the Bible in front of the people of my church.

Now let me set the stage a little bit better for you. At the time that I spoke these poorly chosen words, I was in my young 20's and serving as a youth director at a small church on the outskirts of an even smaller town. It was my first solo church gig. The pastor there was a really awesome guy who, in the few months that we served together, took me under his wing and made it a point to give me opportunities to preach as often as he could (or that he would dare).

Not quite ready for the Sunday morning showcase, I typically sharpened my craft in the Sunday evening service, where more often than not there would be a few dozen in attendance at best. In case you didn't know, Sunday evening services at small churches are typically reserved for faithful church goers who never miss an opportunity to sit in their favorite pew no matter what the occasion. It was on such a Sunday night service that I made my biblical blunder, and the stammering and stuttering that followed only made it more awkward for me to recover.

Now to their credit, the church members that were in attendance that night didn't seemed phased. It's probably because they weren't truly listening to me in the first place, and who could blame them - my nerves had caused me to speak so rapidly that I could barely follow along! But I did get to have a time to debrief with the pastor and I highlighted my error before he could, which resulted in a few good-natured laughs and an admonishment from him to weigh my words more carefully before they ever reached my tongue.

If you buy an article of clothing at the store and it doesn't fit, you can take it back. Unfortunately, poorly spoken words can't be returned, even if they can be forgiven. What you say has instantly been put on the record books, and no amount of hemming and hawing is going to change that. In a world where politicians are constantly trying to deny saying what has been captured on digital media for the world to hear, you would think that we would be much more careful on the front end with what we say before we get royally burned on the back end.

Just the other day a well-known pastor of a megachurch - a man whose ministry I admire greatly - said something in his Sunday morning sermon that rankled a whole lot of feathers (just in case you don't want to watch the clip, he said that if you don't go to a church big enough to provide certain environments for your kids, then you are being selfish and you don't care about your kids and their spiritual future). The response on social media - at least among those I know who are in the ministry - was swift and one-sided. True, many had been waiting a long time to take a nice swing at this guy, but most could not get over the fact that this man, who has an audience quite possibly in the millions when you count those who tune in online, would be careless enough to say what he said.

Did he really mean it? I mean, as many times as he's preached in his life and as careful as he must be with his sermon preparation, would he have said such a thing if he didn't weigh it out first? To this man's credit he took to social media a couple of days later to apologize, stating that once he took the time to listen to what he had said that he, too, was offended by it. For some, his apology will be enough for them to move on under his leadership but for others it will be the final straw.

I don't think I have to tell you this by now but I will anyway - the words that you say are so incredibly important! As a father of four kids I can't tell you how many times I have put my foot in my mouth with some of the words that I have said to them, and please don't bring up all of the misguided and just plain stupid things that I have said to my wife over the years. When you and I neglect to weigh the words that we are about to speak, we can expect to encounter some pretty awkward and painful moments.

But there is good new for us who are prone to foot-in-mouth disease! The Bible has lots of great wisdom to offer about the words that we say, especially in the Old Testament book of Proverbs:

The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. (Proverbs 10:21)

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (Proverbs 15:28)

Do you see the trend here? There is direct connection between wisdom and the words that we say. In other words, if we take the time to think about what we say before we say it - if we carefully weigh our words - chances are we won't have to take to social media to publicly apologize for our blunders.

I was fortunate enough when I was in my young 20's that the careless words I said before my little congregation did not have many ears to irritate. From that circumstance and others like it, I was able to grow and move on as a more careful communicator, a craft that I still work at diligently today. As a pastor I understand the awesome privilege I have to preach God's word and the accountability that goes with that. But I also know that no matter what you do in life - whether your stage is small or grand - the words that you say will always influence other people.

Learn to weigh your words on the scale of truth and common sense before you speak them. It's always better to take extra time on the front end to formulate what you are going to say than to have to spend lots of time and energy on the back end trying to explain what you actually meant to say in the first place. 

When grace isn't quite so graceful

Man, I messed up big time the other day. My words and my actions totally threw my life out of balance and I spent a lot time trying to make amends for my sinfulness. I'm sure you can relate to my dilemma because you've probably recently found yourself in the same spiritual quagmire. You royally blew it and now you feel slightly less worthy than a piece of maggot-infested garbage. Why do we continue to struggle with the same old sins for which Jesus suffered and died?

Maybe your issue isn't what you've just recently done but rather what haunts you from your past. There was that time in your life when you were far from God, living a life that now makes you want to retch. Or perhaps you are the product of abuse, whether it was sexual, physical, or emotional. Your view of yourself is so low that you struggle to move on because of the guilt and feelings of inadequacy that you can't seem to shake.

But then God stepped in and the miraculous happened. Jesus found you and in the arms of His redemption and grace you have found purpose. You have been set free, the weight of sin and shame no longer pinning you down and convincing you that you are unworthy. You have been declared righteous - justified - in the eyes of God and He sees you as His precious child, beautiful in His sight. Do you deserve all of this? No! None of us deserve God's grace and mercy and love and forgiveness yet He gives it to us - He lavishes it on us! (Ephesians 1:7-8) - freely and without hesitation.

Yet in spite of God's love and incredible forgiveness, you can't move past your past. Something inside of you just can't accept His grace and unconditional love. So you hide deeper within yourself and you die a little bit spiritually every day, malnourished from your refusal to dine at the Lord's table.

It is an absolute tragedy when God's grace is not accepted. And this refusal of His grace usually hits us in two ways. First, when you struggle to accept God's grace for your life then your focus becomes YOU and not Him. Jesus bled and died for you - there is nothing that can separate you from God's love in Jesus Christ (Romans 8:31-39) - yet somehow you have managed to wedge yourself away from the reality of His grace. Oh don't get me wrong, you can do nothing to diminish God's grace and salvation, but it is possible to render yourself ineffective by refusing to live in the reality of it.

When we do this, we live selfishly as if grace is not enough. This isn't humility - it's self-flagellation - and it's offensive to God because what Jesus bought us on the cross is ENOUGH. No amount of self-abuse that we might bring upon ourselves will add one micron to the salvation and grace that has been freely given to us in Christ. If this is you, stop acting like you are helping God by punishing yourself. He doesn't need your help and it's laughable that you live as if He does. Instead, swim in the sea of His grace, not because you deserve it but rather because He gives it in spite of our unworthiness.

Now here's where it's about to get real, even more serious if that's possible. There is a second way that the grace of God is refused. In our world and churches there are "Christians" who have set themselves up as the judge and jury for God's grace and have taken it upon themselves to dispense and withhold grace to others at their own bidding. Somehow if your sin is too great in their eyes then they decide that you are anathema and therefore not worthy of their time or God's grace. It doesn't matter that you have been redeemed, you aren't fit to serve. You may be forgiven by God, but that's doesn't mean I have to accept you. You don't deserve God's grace.

I know that may sound harsh. After all, we must be careful whom we allow to hold influence in our churches and ministries. There is no way in the world that a convicted sex offender or habitual drug user is going to serve in my student ministry. Some sins, while forgiven by God, disqualify us from serving in certain leadership areas. But there is no sin no matter how big or small that God's grace cannot cover, so stop treating people as if they have no hope! How dare we view God's grace as more sufficient for some over others!

The Lord told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace was sufficient for him in his greatest weakness.

In Ephesians 2:8-9 we are told that we are saved by grace through faith, not by any work we may strive to perform or leave undone.

God's grace is enough. It is all we need. His grace covers our sin and our past, refusing to dredge up our past failures and instead setting us up as more than conquerors through Christ who loved us (Romans 8:37). May we see grace as God sees it and not as some measuring rod that we use to sinfully hold those back for whom Jesus bled and died. Let me finish by saying it this way: Get over yourself and stop being a grace-baiter.  

The constant of Jesus

Do you remember a time when life seemed a little bit simpler and sweeter?  For me, those days were especially vivid during the summers when I was a kid. I recall spending summer days at my neighborhood swimming pool literally from sun up to sun down. Those were some of the best and most vivid memories of my childhood. All my friends were there, I could hang out with the high school kids and think that I was cooler than I was, and the snack bar had all my favorite candy (Boston Baked Beans and Lemon Heads!). Families would come together for evening swim - we would bring leftovers from supper to the lifeguards and our parents would sit pool side and talk for hours while our fingers and toes pruned like raisins as we played sharks and minnows and dove for quarters in the dark.

Over the years things changed for me and that pool. The pool had to be shut down because of shifting ground underneath it, so my family joined another neighborhood pool. But at this new pool, the same families that I had grown up with weren't there. Instead, there were new kids to get to know, ones who had grown up together and had their own groups and games that they played. It wasn't that we were not welcome as a family - we were - it's just that this was no longer our pool. We had spent so many years growing accustomed to the same environment with the same people that nothing could replace that. That neighborhood culture that we had spent so many years working to foster was no more.

Fast forward almost 30 years and I now have children of my own. As summer rolls around, I can't keep all those memories of spending countless hours at the pool out of my mind. My kids need that same experience. I can envision my kids running around with chlorine matted hair while my wife and I lounge pool side chatting with other parents as the sun goes down. The neighborhood pool culture was just what my family needed.

I did some research and found the perfect pool for my family to join. We knew several of the families who belonged there and it wasn't too far from our house. I began to plan as many family outings to the pool as I could, dreaming of how awesome it would be for my kids to spend their days swimming and making new friends. And truthfully, some of that did happen. That first summer at this new pool my children learned to swim and jump off the diving board and they made many new friends. The snack bar even had really good ice cream! But did I manage to recapture for them all of those experiences from my childhood? Not even close. In fact, by the time July started to wind down my kids almost refused to go to the pool: It's too boring! None of our friends go anymore! I'm tired of swimming all the time!

Sadly, I had to admit defeat. There was just no way that I was going to be able to recreate those childhood memories and make them relevant to my own children. That community feel created by the neighborhood pool experience during my childhood no longer was within my grasp. My children wanted and needed their own experiences.

Time takes its toll on all of us. What was fun for me as a kid is not necessarily what my own children will prefer. Yet there is one dynamic that stays constant no matter the season of life that you are in: We all want to feel connected and experience a sense of community. That's true of my family. Today we have found our niche in a coastal environment where spending time on the beach has taken the place of endless days at a neighborhood pool, and my family couldn't be any happier.

Think back to when you gave your life to Jesus or to a time where you felt incredibly close to God. Chances are these were not isolated events for you. There were other people involved in those processes, walking beside you along the way and providing fellowship and community that to this day you still treasure. You couldn't wait for Sunday to roll around to be with your faith family! Hopefully that is still the passion of your heart, but for many of us time can take away some of those joys as well. We grow up and go off to school and get jobs. Then we become nostalgic for the way things used to be. We want those experiences that meant so much to us to be replicated that we resort to church hopping, joining then quitting small groups and Bible studies, and trying out different children's and youth ministries to see if our own kids can have the same experiences that we had.

This vicious cycle is rarely fulfilling or successful for most of us. When we try to recapture the feelings or nostalgia of the past, we don't realize that we are grasping at what was never meant to last. Memories will always be with us and past experiences still make us smile, but if those things are what we are after then we are missing the point.

The pastor of my church when I was growing up passed away long ago and I miss his sermons and the wisdom that he poured into my life. I have fond memories of Sunday school and youth ministry in an environment that seemed to me to be much simpler and safer back then. Yet one constant is still as true and real today as it was all those years ago when I played kickball during VBS and enjoyed Wednesday night suppers and couldn't sleep the night before summer camp because I was too excited - that constant is Jesus.

The church where I now serve and bring my family is totally different than the one in which I grew up. There is no organ or piano, small groups meet in homes during the week instead of in classrooms on Sunday mornings, and if the building didn't have a sign on it then no one would believe that a church met there. But Jesus is proclaimed there just as He was when I was a kid. The gospel is central. Lives that are broken find healing in Christ. And my children are growing in their faith under the teaching of adults who pour the truth of Scripture into them much like sweet old Snookie Johnson and Catherine Byrd taught me on Sunday mornings way back in the 1970's.

Yes, times have changed but Jesus has not. Preferences for preaching and musical styles in church will always fluctuate and be a source of discussion, but the truth of Jesus and the gospel message must always be our constant. I may not be able to recreate my childhood experiences for my children - and they don't want that from me - but I can make sure that they encounter the same Jesus that changed my life all those years ago.

Redefining what wasn't really ours to define in the first place

Over the years I've had the privilege of leading hundreds of middle school and high school-age students in the arena of youth ministry. Of those whose lives I have been a part of, there have been several who have sensed a unique call from God on their lives, one that has led them to church work, seminary, or missions. It's been awesome keeping up with them over the years as they experience the joys and frustrations of leading in church ministry. Yet out of all of those students who I've walked alongside of, hardly any have expressed the need to pursue ministry beyond the walls of the church or para church contexts.

Is there such a thing as ministry beyond what has been organized by religious and faith-based institutions? In other words, can you really pursue ministry if it doesn't look like ministry?

When I was younger, I knew that God was calling me into the ministry. You know, full-time vocational Christian ministry. I knew that I was called to serve and the options before me looked pretty much like a one-item buffet -- church work. Don't misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with that. I was blessed to grow up in a very healthy church environment with a host of pastors who poured themselves into my life. Beyond that option there was the possibility of serving with a para church group like Intervarsity or Young Life, but to be honest those organizations were kind of frowned upon because of the perception that they did very little to plug the students they served into the local church (translation = it was a territorial issue).

So I did what every motivated and passionate young minister-to-be would do and that is attend seminary and attempt to find church work. From my 20's into my 30's I served in various churches as either a volunteer, intern, part-timer, or full-time staff member, all of which centered on student ministry. I experienced many highs and lows during those years, but I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

However, during all of that time, I knew that there was much more to ministry that existed beyond just church ministry. Whenever I would share this with my fellow ministry peers, they would immediately ask if I felt called to missions. That's pretty much the standard backup for those who consider what other options are available for them if they aren't convinced it's church work. Be a foreign missionary! But I didn't want to be a foreign missionary. True, missions is more than just living in hut and eating grub worms in Africa, yet that is often the image that is seared into our brains. This was not what God had called me to do.

After 2 decades of serving in some sort of church context, I was able to step away for a couple of years and use that time to ask myself some pretty gut wrenching questions about my call. Did God still want to use me? If so, how? I knew and still know that God has called me to serve Him. That has never been in doubt and the local church is where I serve. But what God began to show me was that there is a big difference between the actual fact of being called and how that call is to be lived out.

From way back in the beginning of my spiritual formation, I pretty much understood that "the call" to ministry was reserved for a select few, those who would be pastors. Anyone else who was serving experienced a different kind of call to the ministry that was put on a lower level than those who served vocationally in churches. "We are all ministers," the church sign says, "But our pastor is THE minister." Do you see how flawed that viewpoint is?

What do we do with the 23-year-old medical student who is passionate about Jesus and is convinced he's called to ministry, yet has no desire to pursue church work or missions? How about the young professional whose heart has caught fire with the gospel and can't contain her excitement to be on mission, yet is convinced that her 8-to-5 job is where God has called her to be? Can these actually be called to ministry without actually entering what we've defined for years as ministry?

The answering is resounding yes. And the truth is, what we've defined as "ministry" really isn't close to what Jesus would define as ministry. We have no evidence that Zacchaeus abandoned his business to don a preacher's robe. When Jesus changed his life, Zacchaeus repented and changed his ways, but that doesn't mean he changed his career. The same is true of so many that we read about in the New Testament. Their call to abandon all and follow Christ meant that they were to abandon their own selfish desires and habits to follow Jesus, but didn't always mean that they abandoned their chosen professions.

Why is that? Because Jesus still desires that His truth and gospel saturate all aspects of culture. In order to do that, He needs lawyers and nurses and teachers and construction workers and CPA's and retail clerks to serve as ministers in their workplaces. He needs students to be ministers in their schools. He needs moms and dads to be ministers in their communities. 

In setting parameters around what is and isn't considered to be ministry, we've defined what isn't ours to define. We joke about the pastor being the "professional Christians" but there are still many who expect him to do the bulk of the spiritual work because it's his "job." That, my friends, is a bunch of rubbish (or crap for the younger crowd).

I'm seeing, and maybe you are too, many in this younger generation who have a passion to serve with all of the zeal of snake-handling pentecostal seminary student but without the desire to do so in a church or faith-based context. And that's awesome! Honestly, more people are walking into restaurants and attorney's offices and retail stores than will ever step foot inside of our churches. Since that is true, we need to equip more and more men and women to be ministers in their chosen field of work. We don't need to focus in training them so that they can serve in our churches. No, we need to pour ourselves and our resources into them so that they can serve where they live and work everyday. And as we are doing this, we need to affirm the calling that God has put on their lives to serve as ministers in the work place. It's time to strike a blow to the caste system that is Christian ministry.