My Story to Tell

I was hesitant at first to write this blog post. A big reason for that is because so many people have experienced a lot of life-altering events and I don't want to appear as if I am trying to play the comparison game with mine. But, at the same time, when life throws you a series of curve balls, it is often therapeutic to chronicle the twists and the turns that it brings. This is my attempt to do just that.

In January of this year I finally got around to making an appointment with my cardiologist over some concerns I was having about my heart health. I say "finally" because I had been experiencing some less than normal cardiac symptoms for almost a year, primarily a sensation that made it feel as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest with every heartbeat. Something inside of me told me that this wasn't normal, but since I had experienced a major open heart surgery in January of 2020, I wrongly assumed that what I was experiencing could be my new normal.

A visit to my cardiologist quickly corrected my error. I had developed what is called a fistula, a rupture between my aortic arch and my pulmonary artery, both major vessels that exit from the top of the heart. The situation I was in was a little more precarious than normal - my aortic arch was artificial (it had been replaced in 2020 due to an aneurysm) and the rupture between the two vessels was creating a lot of back pressure, giving me nasty case of pulmonary hypertension and placing me in heart failure. Needless to say, I needed another open heart surgery and I needed it soon. 

My wife and I jumped in the car on January 17 and drove to Winston-Salem so that I could undergo further testing from the surgical team that operated on me in 2020 at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center. It didn't take long to realize that surgery was the only option, so on February 2, 2023, I was whisked away for my second open heart procedure in the past three years. Once I succumbed to the anesthesia and I fell into a deep sleep, everything changed in more ways than I could possibly imagine.

The surgery itself was a success with my surgeon being able to fix the rupture and repair several other areas of concern, but my body had other ideas. Over the next several days I experienced a series of medical emergencies that literally had my life hanging in the balance. The medical team had to shock my heart back into rhythm almost a dozen times and it was if my body was waging a coup against all that they were trying to do so save me. At one point the medical team advised that my wife, Kellie, that it appeared I might not make it. I needed a miracle. 

During all of this time I was completely oblivious to what was happening. I never woke up after the surgery and I was in the midst of what would wind up being a two and a half week coma. While everything was crashing down around me and my family was hanging in limbo, I was in a deep sleep, experiencing a supernatural peace. It would take dozens of pages to document all that I saw and experienced during the constant dreams that I experienced in my coma, but suffice it to say that I knew that the Lord was with me and He was carrying me every step of the way.

About a week after the surgery, my surgeon advised the rest of the medical team that it would be best to let my body rest until the next day and then he would perform further procedures if necessary. My chest had been left open for a week with a balloon pump in place after the surgery due to recurring complications that I was experiencing, so the plan was to take me down after those needed hours of rest to the operating room to close it and consider further options. Those precious hours were all that my body would need to turn the corner. It was then that my body decided it was time to kick it into gear and get better. After he closed my chest the next day, my vital signs started to improve, my heart began to be more responsive to treatment, and I gradually began to pull out of the medical funk that I was in. Indeed I was experiencing a bit of the miraculous that everyone had been praying for.

What followed after that were several days of weaning me off of the nearly 20 medications that had been keeping me alive and pumping into my body for the past couple of weeks. Doing so would allow me to finally wake up and face the long road of rehabilitation that lay ahead. Eventually I began to respond to verbal commands, the intubation tube was removed, and on February 17 I was finally lucid enough to answer questions from one of the ICU doctors - although I'm not gonna lie, my answers to his questions were pretty bizarre! That evening they moved me to a step-down cardiac unit where over the course of a few more days I gradually began to eat and drink liquids, move with assistance to a chair, and gather my bearings. 

During all of this time I lost almost 30 pounds and with it the ability to walk and have full use of my arms. Once they deemed me strong enough, I was moved to a rehabilitation wing of the hospital where I would undergo daily physical therapy to learn how to walk again as well as perform basic daily routines. The physical therapists, occupational therapist, and recreation theraptist that worked with me were nothing short of stellar and they pushed me to recover much quicker than either I or the medical team thought that I would. 

On February 28, 2023, after 39 days in the hospital, I walked out of Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center and headed home. Never had I been more grateful to breath fresh air or walk on my own without assistance. Over the next several months I would gradually regain my strength and most of my weight and I was even able to go back to work on light duty in April. I did experience a setback in June when it was discovered that I had developed a bacterial infection around my heart. What followed was ten more days in the hospital and then six more weeks with a PICC line in my arm pumping in antibiotics 24/7, but I finally was able to resume some sense of normalcy and enjoy the last couple of weeks of summer. 

Let me just say that life is precious. I have always enjoyed life and sought to pursue those things that I felt were meaningful, but being on the precipice of death and making it back certainly do bring about a new perspective. Because I'm a list kind of guy, I want to finish this with some vital lessons that I learned and still carry close to my heart (pardon the pun) as I move on from this life-altering experience.

1. My wife is amazing. If you know Kellie, then you already understand this to be true, but let me tell you that I do not believe that I would have survived without her love, devotion, and advocacy as a wife and nurse. She left my side only to sleep, worked remotely from my bedside, entertained countless well-wishers in the waiting room all while trying to hold our family together, and asked  lots of questions of the medical team all in an effort to make sure I was receiving the best possible care. The emotional and mental toll that this took on her is incalculable yet her love for me and her belief in my recovery spurred her on. Without her, I truly don't know that I would have made it. It's not possible for me to convey how much I love her.
   
2. God is so faithful. My faith has always been my constant and this situation only strengthened it all the more. While in my coma, I had encounters with the Lord that I firmly believe allowed me to fight on and make it through. When the medical team seemed to be out of options, God was just getting started. I can confidently say that without the intervention of the Lord I would not have survived, and for that I am eternally grateful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
3. My family and friends are blessings. There was extended family members such as my brother Chris and his wife Tiffany sitting with Kellie for hours on end and helping her to make decisions when she needed another voice in the room. My brother Parrish flying in from New York to be there for me and my family. There were neighbors and then aunt Carol from Kansas flying in to hold down the fort at home. Then there was my mother-in-law and father-in-law opening their home all hours of the day and night, providing amazing food, lots of comfort, and shoulders to cry on. Plus, my own four children came to see me even when I didn't know they were there, it was their presence, love, and prayers that pushed me forward. And the countless number of friends who called, dropped by the hospital, sat with me and listened to me ramble after I woke up, and sent cards, food, and care packages that cannot be underestimated in their importance. I would list their names but for the sake of offending someone that I might accidentally leave out, y'all know who you are. Thankful is simply not a strong enough word.
4. My medical team are rock stars. Simply put, my surgeon Dr. Neal Kon is world class as is my cardiologist and good friend Dr. Tim Winslow. All of the ICU nurses, cardiac team, and rehab clinicians were stellar and they were more than locked in every step of the way. While I would never wish what I went through on anyone else, I would recommend these guys to anyone who had health concerns. They are top notch. 

Every morning that I wake up, I see the day ahead of me as a blessing. I am still in the healing process and some days are better than others. One of the biggest struggles that I face is being patient with myself, knowing that I cannot push too hard too soon. Yet I know that I have been gifted a chance at life that I will never take for granted and always seek to embrace. God is good!

Redeeming Your Time

Free time. Anybody know what that is anymore? I know I am not alone in wishing I had more time each day to “get things done” and enjoy more down time for myself. Remember when you were a kid and complained to your folks about being bored all the time? Don’t you crave a little more boredom in your life right now? Someone once said that you don’t make time to do the things you want to do, rather you gotta make the best use of the time that you’ve been given. Good advice, if you have the time to take it.

But all of us at some point will find ourselves with extra time on our hands that we have the privilege to fill with, well, whatever we want. It might be while you are on vacation or the kids are away at camp or you are recovering from a medical procedure at home. Whatever the circumstance, this gift of extra free time comes with challenges of its own, namely, “What in the world are you gonna do with yourself?”

The challenge the I have with this kind of time is that I want it to be meaningful and productive. Now I’m not talking about building an addition to my house or earning another degree over the weekend, but rather avoiding the trap that idle time can bring. What is idle time? Simply put, when you have nothing to do and no plan for filling it, idle time will lead you down all sorts of unfulfilling paths.

Have you ever had a break at school or work and found yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media the entire time? Or how many times have you flipped through every channel on the TV or every movie option on Netflix and still can’t find one to watch? How long did that take? The challenge that we have with extra time on our hands is that we believe it exists only for our entertainment, so we seek to fill it with shows and movies and events that we believe will fulfill us, yet in the end most of it really doesn’t. Idle time will do that to you.

Here is the problem when we believe that the solution to idle time is to feed it with entertainment: We starve our souls. I’m not saying that binging a show or checking up on your friend’s latest post is wrong — I do that too. But if you were given a portion of time that was all yours to navigate, would you choose to feed your soul with that time or simply throw it away with useless activities that you probably won’t even remember tomorrow?

Time is always of the essence as they say, so when you get that window of time, make a plan for what you are going to do with it. Sounds exciting, huh? But seriously, grab that book you’ve been wanting to read and read it. Got a good place to watch the sunrise or sunset? Then get yourself a front row seat and take it all in. Listen to a podcast that stimulates your sense of adventure and helps you to grow. Learn to play the ukulele. Is there a project you’ve been putting off? Trust me, when you plan it out and put it on the calendar during some free time, you will actually be pretty excited to jump in.

Time is something that, when it is gone, you can never get back. Our world screams for more and more of our time, and usually what it offers in return is about as valuable as an early 1980’s floppy disc. Time is God’s gift to us. Spend it wisely with each other and on things that honor Him. So, what are you gonna do today?

“Redeem the time, because the days are evil.”  — Ephesians 5:16

Mazda SUV's, State fans, and peace

To the lady in the black Mazda SUV with the NC State sticker on the back window, thank you. Most mornings, no matter what time I leave my house, I find myself directly behind you on the way to work. You drive slower than I would prefer and you take that last turn so painfully deliberate that I am afraid you may ultimately stop in the middle of the intersection. But thank you nonetheless for giving me much needed perspective. 

You may not know this, Mazda driver, but every time I see you pull out of that side street up ahead in the distance, I groan behind the wheel of my truck. And it's not because I am in some sort of a hurry – I always leave with plenty of time to spare and am never late for work. Rather, it's more because of the fact that I KNOW you are going to pull out in front of me and drive the way that you do. I don't honk or tailgate you, because I know that solves nothing. Instead, I seethe a little on the inside.

Please know, there is really nothing wrong with your driving. You always use your turn signals and you at least go the legal posted speed limit. I see you looking both ways before you make a turn and from my vantage point, it appears that you always have your hands at 10 and 2. Honestly, I want my kids to drive like you do. 

So, why am I thanking you, Mazda driver? Truthfully, it has nothing to do with my opinion of how you drive your car. You are a fine driver! The reason I am thanking you is because you have been teaching me a lesson these past couple of months that I have truly needed in my life. What is this lesson? Some might call it, "Don't sweat the small stuff" but I prefer to refer to it as, "If it's the little things that get me all bent out of shape, then I am the one with the problem."

I have found in the course of my 50 years on earth that it's the little things – life's minutia – that often frustrate me more than bigger events or setbacks that I experience. A hurricane rips shingles off of my house and allows water to pour in? No problem, we can clean it up and wait on the insurance to fix it. Can't find the remote control? I might lose my ever-loving mind.

So, Mazda driver, when you take that last turn so incredibly slow that it seems as if time stands still, I realize that it only causes perhaps a 2-3 second delay in my commute, a daily drive that is already filled with lots of traffic. Why does something so small, so infinitesimal, so minute get under my skin? Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, I KNOW you are going to turn that way. I expect it because I see and experience it so often. Nothing you do surprises me! 

Yet when you turn so slowly as I have come to anticipate you will, it still grates me just a little. And this truly is why I want to thank you. Not only because your driving has taught me that my struggle with impatience is far from over, but also because I realize just how ridiculous it is to be frustrated over things that absolutely, positively, truly do not matter. I mean really, how you turn that corner does not matter. At all. To me or to anyone else. 

Jesus said and did some incredibly wonderful things that are recorded in the New Testament. And while I can find examples of Him responding with righteous indignation against obvious sin and hypocrisy, I have yet to find any situation where He gets triggered over something trivial or mundane. Instead, He lives a life of peace because He is able to focus on those things in life that are most important and worthy of His praise and energy. 

In a world that seems to grow more chaotic with each passing day, it's not hard to find a host of reasons to be frustrated, if that's what you want. But I don't want to be frustrated. I want peace, now more than ever. And this isn't just the kind of peace I can muster on my own, but rather God's peace, the kind He alone can give that surpasses all of my understanding (Philippians 4:7). This is the peace that reminds me time and again of God's sovereignty and my need to let go of things over which I truly have no control.

So Mazda driver, when you pulled out in front of me this morning, I said hello to you, even though I knew you couldn't hear me. I chose to focus on the music I was listening to rather than the way you were driving, which again, was above board as always. And when you started that matrix-defying turn that stops the earth from spinning on its axis, I smiled and happily continued on my way once the road was clear. I'm not gonna lie – it was pretty sweet having a peaceful ride to work.

Christmas Memories Never Die

Do you remember what it was like? You know, when you were just a kid and Christmas seemed liked the most magical time of the year? I know, I know, Christmas is truly about Jesus and that is why we celebrate. Yet as a kid, you couldn't help but go beyond the manger scenes and Christmas Eve services to a world filled with toys and happiness that still sticks with you to this day.

As I ponder what this year has been like for most of us, I realize that holiday gatherings are probably not going to look like they have in the past. Some of the Christmas traditions that have been sacred for your family for generations might be on pause this year, but that doesn't mean that this time for gathering and worshiping the birth of our Savior can't still be memorable. We all just have to flow a little bit differently right now, you know? 

In honor of this most wonderful time of the year when gathering with friends and family has never seemed more precious, I thought it would be cool for some of you to share some of your favorite Christmas memories from when you were a child (or even from your adult years!). Comment with your response or post it on Facebook if this is where you read this. I'll go first.

• I remember as a boy waking up well before dawn and lying down at the tops of the stairs, craning my neck and straining my eyes to see what those shadowy gifts just beyond my reach in the living room actually were. My brothers and I would take turns guessing what we thought we saw and the anticipation for my parents to wake up was almost more than I could bare!
• Do you remember when Sears and JC Penney sent out their Christmas catalogs each year? I vividly recall flipping through every page, circling the presents that I wanted in hopes that Santa (and my parents) would get the hint. I must have circled half the gifts each year in those catalogs!
  
• Probably my favorite memory I have from my childhood is from Christmas Eve at my grandparent's house on my mom's side. Me, my parents, and my brothers would load up in the station wagon with gifts in tow and head across town where we would join my aunts and uncles and their kids for an absolute feast that my grandmother spend all day cooking – country style steak, mashed potatoes, squash casserole, potato salad, green beans, corn, rolls, and the best homemade chocolate pies this side of heaven. Then we would all retire to the den where one of the kids would read the Christmas story from the gospel of Luke and then we would tear into the presents that the rest of the family got for us. 

As a parent, I have enjoyed watching my children make their own Christmas memories over the years, and my wife and I love making new traditions together as a family. I can't help but think how cool it will be to one day be the grandparents house my kids and grand kids will gather at for holidays in the future. So go ahead, take some time to daydream back to your childhood and share some of your favorite Christmas memories as well!

It Begins With Me

Hello, my name is Sterling Griggs, and I am white.

I sometimes hunt and fish and shoot guns. I drive a Ford F150 truck with big mud tires and I even like to listen to country music (80's and 90's only – none of that new "country" stuff, please). If you called me a redneck I would say "whatever" because I could easily point out to you many more people who are truly more country than I pretend to be.

But if you did truly label me as a redneck, I would want to know exactly what you meant by that term. Are you insinuating that I am racist, that I have a confederate flag waving at my house, and that I secretly hope that the south will rise again? If that is how you view a redneck, then I would kindly tell you in response that it is possible to enjoy trucks and the country and hunting and fishing without actually being a racist. Maybe you wouldn't fully understand this because, simply put, you have not lived the way in which the one you are labeling has lived.

What if I was a black man, one who was raised in a distinctly different culture than yours? You know, listening to music that you didn't understand, dressing in ways that were different that you would, living in a community of which you know so very little about? Would you be afraid of me if you saw me on the streets or at the mall? Would you assume that if I was arrested for a crime that it was probably justified, that I was actually guilty? Am I "thug" to you if my hair is in cornrows or maybe even dreads, if I respond differently to life circumstances because I have been treated differently all of my life?

As a follower of Jesus, I could easily quote some Scripture about loving your neighbor and hope that it would stick to all of humanity, but sadly it does not. Do we have a sin problem? You bet we do. Yet to sermonize all of the unrest in our country and our world does very little for the vast majority who do not hold the same worldview as I do. If someone is racist, then there is a different king sitting on his or her throne.

Will I pray for hearts to be changed? I will, starting with my own. But I also have to realize that, from where I stand, I am responsible for so much of what needs to happen to enact change in this world. I cannot point the finger at others and announce that they alone are the problem. It begins with me.

I can remember times where I have stood up for my black brothers and sisters in their presence, decrying the wrong that was being perpetrated against them. If you do not believe that racism against African Americans is a real thing, then I guess you can probably stop reading at this point. But I can also recall times when I was around only those of my color and I chose to do or say nothing when the racist fireballs were being thrown. For that, I am ashamed and I am sorry.

As I see what is going on in our country, I have so many questions and I, too, am angry. Watching cities burn on the news does not bring me peace, even though I understand the anger behind it all. I have sought counsel from friends of color and listened to what they had to say, praying that I could understand how I can be a part of the solution. Over and over again I have heard that I, as a white man, cannot remain silent, yet I have also been urged to take this to mean more than just a social media post or attendance at a rally.

An event or a protest, while on the right track, is not going to ultimately change this country. No, this country will not change until those who CAN stand WILL stand for those who cannot. In the work place, the market, in schools, in the community – when someone of privilege sees injustice against another man or woman who does not share that same privilege, then their voice must be heard and action must be taken. The African American community should not be the first group of people in America to be up in arms when injustices come their way.

It begins with me.

Just another post about what everyone else is posting about. Kind of.

This morning as I was enjoying coffee on the screened in porch with my wife – which is what we do every morning (coffee, that is, and on the porch if the weather is nice) – I was scrolling through the YouVersion Bible app when I came across a devotional by Francis Chan. I will be the first to admit that I find many devotional plans that are posted online to be a little anemic if not cheesy, but Chan is my spirit animal so I clicked on the plan to see what it was all about.

To my delight, I found that he was inviting me on a 12-day journey through the book of James and he had included video clips for each entry of him explaining the text. Right then and there I began the devotional, with day one being composed of James 1:1-12. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds." Yep, this is pretty relevant.

I'm not sure when Francis Chan wrote and recorded this devotional (which is actually more like a mini-sermon series), but I think it was before the pandemic swept fear and consternation across our planet. Did he somehow know that this would be needed? Anyway, I have read through the book of James on a number of occasions and have participated in Bible studies on this remarkable letter from the half brother of Jesus. Yet James is one of those books that keeps me wanting more, not that it doesn't deliver on the goods but rather I find that I never seem to be able to fully grasp all of the truth and goodness that are contained in its pages (which is why I have told my students over the years to keep on reading their Bibles – they will never exhaust the truth that is in its pages).

If I am truthful (which I try my best to be), I have been bothered by our world's response to the Covid-19 crisis, and not in ways that many of the medical professionals might agree with. I am not a conspiracy theorist and I know the virus is serious and taking lives, but as someone who almost died back in January of this year from heart issues, this virus honestly doesn't scare me. It bothers me that so many around me are living in fear. As a follower of Jesus, I have been conflicted as to how I should voice my doubts. For one, I don't want to come across as some callous jerk who is accused of not caring about the value of human lives, especially those who are suffering (and have died) from this virus. And I also don't want to appear so reckless as to be labeled as one who throws all caution to the wind in the name of economic (and personal) freedom while others are still scared out of their minds.

So in response, I haven't really responded. At least not in a public forum I haven't. I have been so careful to not post anything on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram that would either alienate me from others or unwittingly join me to a radical cause that I never signed up for. And if I am being honest (again, I am), I have felt vindicated because in the end, as long as I don't say it, then I can't be held accountable for it.

But then James threw me for a loop this morning:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Have I been directly affected by Covid-19? Not personally, even though I hurt for those in our world who have suffered not only physically from the virus but who have also lost jobs and experienced financial setbacks. But at the same time, I realize that I am part of a collective suffering that pretty much everyone is going through. Most people that I know miss being together, that sense of community that "social distancing" has taken away from us.

As I read these verses I was reminded that my response to suffering is not to complain or to find some moral higher ground to plant my flag. Rather, my response is to persevere in the Lord. Honestly, I don't know that Jesus really cares that I can't go sit on the beach like I used to or that some of my favorite stores are still closed. But I do believe that Jesus wants me to respond in such a way that points others around me to the gospel.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

In the midst of all of this, I am not called to be right. I am called to live for Him. And while I will still harbor my desire that these trials will pass and that those around me can regain footing in their lives – and find toilet paper – I would rather be known as someone who prayed more for our leaders who are making these difficult decisions than one who is busy criticizing them behind closed doors. Because in the end, we are all going through trials. I don't have the right to make it all about me.

You are more than what Insta-Face-Gram tells you

I teach high school students for a living at a private, Christian school. You may have just read that and thought to yourself, "Oh, that's nice. Sterling teaches in a sanitized environment to a bunch of semi-rich kids who can afford tuition. That's not real life, but kudos to you." While it may be true that I am not employed in the arena of North Carolina public schools, what I have come to learn over my years of working with middle school and high school students is that while socioeconomic backgrounds and ethnic backgrounds may differ, not one teenager is immune to the struggles that are paramount to this current generation.

Known as Gen Z or whatever it is that they are called, this current generation of middle school, high school, and college students have no idea what it's like to be raised in an environment free from the trappings of technology. They never had to endure the torture of walking across the room to manually turn the TV channel, dial-up modems that took days to connect you to a slower-than-molasses-uphill internet, or (gasp) flip phones that were about as easy to text from than performing brain surgery blindfolded. And there is nothing wrong with missing out on these "inconveniences" unique to a first world that is used to being ahead of the curve in all areas of life and technology.

What is unique is that today's students are unbelievably susceptible to gross amounts of information that they have no possible way of fully processing, facts and figures and numbers and comments that are hurled at the speed of a click that come in bunches at a time instead of bit-sized morsels that can be chewed and swallowed without choking. Where I teach, cell phones are off-limits to the students during the school day, but as soon as the last bell rings it is an all out onslaught to their lockers where they anxiously scroll through every missed text, snap, and post, desperate to catch up on all the  pictures, posts, and quotes that they missed, none of which really have any lasting significance.

What am I trying to prove with all of this? My point is that the same struggles that I faced as a teenager – self-image, confidence, depression, doubts, etc. – are the same struggles that today's teenagers are facing, but in their case there exists a whole warehouse of ideas and opinions hurled at them with terminal velocity telling them what they should and should not do with these issues. And this information they are receiving is not good information at all. Rather, it is based on the opinions of anyone who has access to the internet and a keyboard, which is pretty much most people in the world.

Hollywood stars who have zero experience beyond their lavish ivory castles are trying to tell today's generation how unjust this world is and how they should vote. Social media "influencers" – whose only "authority" comes from a ridiculous number of "likes" – push today's teens in the direction of products and ideas, not because they care about this generation but rather because it lines their pockets with more cash. Friends send nonstop texts, Tweets, and instant messages that flood their phone screens, many causing stress and anxiety because of unrealistic expectations and comparisons thrust upon them that they know they can never achieve.

There is simply too much information out there for today's generation to handle and sadly there are very few, if any, filters in place that allow them to discern between what is wheat and what is chaff. As a result, depression is rampant, suicide is a leading cause of death, anxiety has become crippling, and the pressure to perform has become nothing more than Russian Roulette, a fruitless game that will almost always have a tragic ending.

So what is the solution? Shut down the internet! Burn the phones! Start a revival with the postal service and rotary phones! Actually, I wish it was that simple. As a parent who sees how technology and social media has affected my own children (and how I can easily abuse it as well), I honestly don't possess the moral authority to make a definitive statement against it. But I know someone who does.

In the Old Testament book of Proverbs, we find a treasure trove of wisdom that God providentially placed there thousands of years ago. He knew that we would need it! Let me give you a sample of what was written to generations both past and present:

• "Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance."(Proverbs 11:14)
• "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue only a moment." (Proverbs 12:19)
• "A shrewd person conceals knowledge, but a foolish heart publicized stupidity." (Proverbs 12:23 – Oh how this describes social media perfectly!)
• "The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of understanding. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent, discerning when he seals his lips." (Proverbs 17:27-28)

I could go on and on, and not just with the book of Proverbs. The Bible is full of such wisdom and Jesus Himself has much to say about the value that we have when our identity is in Him and not in how the world defines us. And perhaps you see a theme with these verses that, when heeded, can save you from a whole lot of heartache and disappointment:

• Think before you post something about yourself or others
• Don't believe everything that you see or read on the internet (shocker!)
• Stop trying to pursue truth and purpose all by yourself – we need each other for wisdom, support, and accountability

There is no one-stop solution for what today's generation (and us adults, too) face on a daily basis. But one sure way to avoid the ridiculous expectations thrust upon us is to stop believing and over-valuing everything that the world and social media throws your way. What you see online simply is not reality and it has no authority to define your life.

Instead, put the phone down and take a walk outside. Take the time to look at the world around you and how beautiful it actually is. Spend time having face-to-face conversations with people instead of settling for a text or a snap. Stop allowing a faceless – and fake – medium to define your self-worth and identity. And embrace the truth that you have been created for a purpose by a God who desperately loves you and wants nothing but the ultimate best for your life.