My Story to Tell

I was hesitant at first to write this blog post. A big reason for that is because so many people have experienced a lot of life-altering events and I don't want to appear as if I am trying to play the comparison game with mine. But, at the same time, when life throws you a series of curve balls, it is often therapeutic to chronicle the twists and the turns that it brings. This is my attempt to do just that.

In January of this year I finally got around to making an appointment with my cardiologist over some concerns I was having about my heart health. I say "finally" because I had been experiencing some less than normal cardiac symptoms for almost a year, primarily a sensation that made it feel as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest with every heartbeat. Something inside of me told me that this wasn't normal, but since I had experienced a major open heart surgery in January of 2020, I wrongly assumed that what I was experiencing could be my new normal.

A visit to my cardiologist quickly corrected my error. I had developed what is called a fistula, a rupture between my aortic arch and my pulmonary artery, both major vessels that exit from the top of the heart. The situation I was in was a little more precarious than normal - my aortic arch was artificial (it had been replaced in 2020 due to an aneurysm) and the rupture between the two vessels was creating a lot of back pressure, giving me nasty case of pulmonary hypertension and placing me in heart failure. Needless to say, I needed another open heart surgery and I needed it soon. 

My wife and I jumped in the car on January 17 and drove to Winston-Salem so that I could undergo further testing from the surgical team that operated on me in 2020 at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center. It didn't take long to realize that surgery was the only option, so on February 2, 2023, I was whisked away for my second open heart procedure in the past three years. Once I succumbed to the anesthesia and I fell into a deep sleep, everything changed in more ways than I could possibly imagine.

The surgery itself was a success with my surgeon being able to fix the rupture and repair several other areas of concern, but my body had other ideas. Over the next several days I experienced a series of medical emergencies that literally had my life hanging in the balance. The medical team had to shock my heart back into rhythm almost a dozen times and it was if my body was waging a coup against all that they were trying to do so save me. At one point the medical team advised that my wife, Kellie, that it appeared I might not make it. I needed a miracle. 

During all of this time I was completely oblivious to what was happening. I never woke up after the surgery and I was in the midst of what would wind up being a two and a half week coma. While everything was crashing down around me and my family was hanging in limbo, I was in a deep sleep, experiencing a supernatural peace. It would take dozens of pages to document all that I saw and experienced during the constant dreams that I experienced in my coma, but suffice it to say that I knew that the Lord was with me and He was carrying me every step of the way.

About a week after the surgery, my surgeon advised the rest of the medical team that it would be best to let my body rest until the next day and then he would perform further procedures if necessary. My chest had been left open for a week with a balloon pump in place after the surgery due to recurring complications that I was experiencing, so the plan was to take me down after those needed hours of rest to the operating room to close it and consider further options. Those precious hours were all that my body would need to turn the corner. It was then that my body decided it was time to kick it into gear and get better. After he closed my chest the next day, my vital signs started to improve, my heart began to be more responsive to treatment, and I gradually began to pull out of the medical funk that I was in. Indeed I was experiencing a bit of the miraculous that everyone had been praying for.

What followed after that were several days of weaning me off of the nearly 20 medications that had been keeping me alive and pumping into my body for the past couple of weeks. Doing so would allow me to finally wake up and face the long road of rehabilitation that lay ahead. Eventually I began to respond to verbal commands, the intubation tube was removed, and on February 17 I was finally lucid enough to answer questions from one of the ICU doctors - although I'm not gonna lie, my answers to his questions were pretty bizarre! That evening they moved me to a step-down cardiac unit where over the course of a few more days I gradually began to eat and drink liquids, move with assistance to a chair, and gather my bearings. 

During all of this time I lost almost 30 pounds and with it the ability to walk and have full use of my arms. Once they deemed me strong enough, I was moved to a rehabilitation wing of the hospital where I would undergo daily physical therapy to learn how to walk again as well as perform basic daily routines. The physical therapists, occupational therapist, and recreation theraptist that worked with me were nothing short of stellar and they pushed me to recover much quicker than either I or the medical team thought that I would. 

On February 28, 2023, after 39 days in the hospital, I walked out of Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center and headed home. Never had I been more grateful to breath fresh air or walk on my own without assistance. Over the next several months I would gradually regain my strength and most of my weight and I was even able to go back to work on light duty in April. I did experience a setback in June when it was discovered that I had developed a bacterial infection around my heart. What followed was ten more days in the hospital and then six more weeks with a PICC line in my arm pumping in antibiotics 24/7, but I finally was able to resume some sense of normalcy and enjoy the last couple of weeks of summer. 

Let me just say that life is precious. I have always enjoyed life and sought to pursue those things that I felt were meaningful, but being on the precipice of death and making it back certainly do bring about a new perspective. Because I'm a list kind of guy, I want to finish this with some vital lessons that I learned and still carry close to my heart (pardon the pun) as I move on from this life-altering experience.

1. My wife is amazing. If you know Kellie, then you already understand this to be true, but let me tell you that I do not believe that I would have survived without her love, devotion, and advocacy as a wife and nurse. She left my side only to sleep, worked remotely from my bedside, entertained countless well-wishers in the waiting room all while trying to hold our family together, and asked  lots of questions of the medical team all in an effort to make sure I was receiving the best possible care. The emotional and mental toll that this took on her is incalculable yet her love for me and her belief in my recovery spurred her on. Without her, I truly don't know that I would have made it. It's not possible for me to convey how much I love her.
   
2. God is so faithful. My faith has always been my constant and this situation only strengthened it all the more. While in my coma, I had encounters with the Lord that I firmly believe allowed me to fight on and make it through. When the medical team seemed to be out of options, God was just getting started. I can confidently say that without the intervention of the Lord I would not have survived, and for that I am eternally grateful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
3. My family and friends are blessings. There was extended family members such as my brother Chris and his wife Tiffany sitting with Kellie for hours on end and helping her to make decisions when she needed another voice in the room. My brother Parrish flying in from New York to be there for me and my family. There were neighbors and then aunt Carol from Kansas flying in to hold down the fort at home. Then there was my mother-in-law and father-in-law opening their home all hours of the day and night, providing amazing food, lots of comfort, and shoulders to cry on. Plus, my own four children came to see me even when I didn't know they were there, it was their presence, love, and prayers that pushed me forward. And the countless number of friends who called, dropped by the hospital, sat with me and listened to me ramble after I woke up, and sent cards, food, and care packages that cannot be underestimated in their importance. I would list their names but for the sake of offending someone that I might accidentally leave out, y'all know who you are. Thankful is simply not a strong enough word.
4. My medical team are rock stars. Simply put, my surgeon Dr. Neal Kon is world class as is my cardiologist and good friend Dr. Tim Winslow. All of the ICU nurses, cardiac team, and rehab clinicians were stellar and they were more than locked in every step of the way. While I would never wish what I went through on anyone else, I would recommend these guys to anyone who had health concerns. They are top notch. 

Every morning that I wake up, I see the day ahead of me as a blessing. I am still in the healing process and some days are better than others. One of the biggest struggles that I face is being patient with myself, knowing that I cannot push too hard too soon. Yet I know that I have been gifted a chance at life that I will never take for granted and always seek to embrace. God is good!

You are more than what Insta-Face-Gram tells you

I teach high school students for a living at a private, Christian school. You may have just read that and thought to yourself, "Oh, that's nice. Sterling teaches in a sanitized environment to a bunch of semi-rich kids who can afford tuition. That's not real life, but kudos to you." While it may be true that I am not employed in the arena of North Carolina public schools, what I have come to learn over my years of working with middle school and high school students is that while socioeconomic backgrounds and ethnic backgrounds may differ, not one teenager is immune to the struggles that are paramount to this current generation.

Known as Gen Z or whatever it is that they are called, this current generation of middle school, high school, and college students have no idea what it's like to be raised in an environment free from the trappings of technology. They never had to endure the torture of walking across the room to manually turn the TV channel, dial-up modems that took days to connect you to a slower-than-molasses-uphill internet, or (gasp) flip phones that were about as easy to text from than performing brain surgery blindfolded. And there is nothing wrong with missing out on these "inconveniences" unique to a first world that is used to being ahead of the curve in all areas of life and technology.

What is unique is that today's students are unbelievably susceptible to gross amounts of information that they have no possible way of fully processing, facts and figures and numbers and comments that are hurled at the speed of a click that come in bunches at a time instead of bit-sized morsels that can be chewed and swallowed without choking. Where I teach, cell phones are off-limits to the students during the school day, but as soon as the last bell rings it is an all out onslaught to their lockers where they anxiously scroll through every missed text, snap, and post, desperate to catch up on all the  pictures, posts, and quotes that they missed, none of which really have any lasting significance.

What am I trying to prove with all of this? My point is that the same struggles that I faced as a teenager – self-image, confidence, depression, doubts, etc. – are the same struggles that today's teenagers are facing, but in their case there exists a whole warehouse of ideas and opinions hurled at them with terminal velocity telling them what they should and should not do with these issues. And this information they are receiving is not good information at all. Rather, it is based on the opinions of anyone who has access to the internet and a keyboard, which is pretty much most people in the world.

Hollywood stars who have zero experience beyond their lavish ivory castles are trying to tell today's generation how unjust this world is and how they should vote. Social media "influencers" – whose only "authority" comes from a ridiculous number of "likes" – push today's teens in the direction of products and ideas, not because they care about this generation but rather because it lines their pockets with more cash. Friends send nonstop texts, Tweets, and instant messages that flood their phone screens, many causing stress and anxiety because of unrealistic expectations and comparisons thrust upon them that they know they can never achieve.

There is simply too much information out there for today's generation to handle and sadly there are very few, if any, filters in place that allow them to discern between what is wheat and what is chaff. As a result, depression is rampant, suicide is a leading cause of death, anxiety has become crippling, and the pressure to perform has become nothing more than Russian Roulette, a fruitless game that will almost always have a tragic ending.

So what is the solution? Shut down the internet! Burn the phones! Start a revival with the postal service and rotary phones! Actually, I wish it was that simple. As a parent who sees how technology and social media has affected my own children (and how I can easily abuse it as well), I honestly don't possess the moral authority to make a definitive statement against it. But I know someone who does.

In the Old Testament book of Proverbs, we find a treasure trove of wisdom that God providentially placed there thousands of years ago. He knew that we would need it! Let me give you a sample of what was written to generations both past and present:

• "Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance."(Proverbs 11:14)
• "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue only a moment." (Proverbs 12:19)
• "A shrewd person conceals knowledge, but a foolish heart publicized stupidity." (Proverbs 12:23 – Oh how this describes social media perfectly!)
• "The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of understanding. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent, discerning when he seals his lips." (Proverbs 17:27-28)

I could go on and on, and not just with the book of Proverbs. The Bible is full of such wisdom and Jesus Himself has much to say about the value that we have when our identity is in Him and not in how the world defines us. And perhaps you see a theme with these verses that, when heeded, can save you from a whole lot of heartache and disappointment:

• Think before you post something about yourself or others
• Don't believe everything that you see or read on the internet (shocker!)
• Stop trying to pursue truth and purpose all by yourself – we need each other for wisdom, support, and accountability

There is no one-stop solution for what today's generation (and us adults, too) face on a daily basis. But one sure way to avoid the ridiculous expectations thrust upon us is to stop believing and over-valuing everything that the world and social media throws your way. What you see online simply is not reality and it has no authority to define your life.

Instead, put the phone down and take a walk outside. Take the time to look at the world around you and how beautiful it actually is. Spend time having face-to-face conversations with people instead of settling for a text or a snap. Stop allowing a faceless – and fake – medium to define your self-worth and identity. And embrace the truth that you have been created for a purpose by a God who desperately loves you and wants nothing but the ultimate best for your life.

Broken bones, but not broken dreams

This is what a broken and dislocated forearm on a 9-year-old girls looks like. Unfortunately this belongs to my youngest daughter, Emme, who accomplished this after trying to catch herself from hitting the floor after falling off the balance beam at gymnastics. Accidents happen - and sometimes they really hurt! - but sometimes they affect more than just your physical well-being.

If you watch sports or have a child who plays sports or were an athlete yourself, then you know that injuries are often part of the game. Not everyone experiences bone-crushing fractures or career-ending injuries - most of the time it's knocks and bumps and the occasional bruise. But there are those moments where you watch an athlete's future dissipate before his or her eyes by an injury that prohibits them from coming back. And that is hard to watch.

As someone who has never really experienced any of this in the athletic arena, I've often wondered what it's like to receive the crushing news from a doctor or trainer that you might not be able to compete at the same level again. Even if you are just a weekend warrior and enjoy recreational sports leagues - which are awesome, by the way - I am sure that not being able to play at the same level as you once did can be frustrating if not even depressing.

So as I watched my budding young gymnast lie on the ground in obvious pain, my primary focus was making sure that she was okay and taken care of. But then as we were riding in the ambulance to the hospital, the inevitable thoughts came into my mind - Will she be able to do gymnastics again? And even if the physical healing is 100%, will she want to jump on that beam again after what happened? Will she even want to?

Sure, she's pretty new to the sport, but she is incredibly driven and has big dreams - she's already considering UCLA and Alabama for college because, according to her, "They have the best gymnastics teams." And she recently joined a team that will begin competition soon, which she has been working really hard to be ready for. How would she respond to the fact that even if she does make a full recovery it will still be months before she is able to even attempt the kind of moves she was doing before the accident? And what about us as parents - how will we help her through the potential disappointment of not being able to compete, both now and perhaps in the future?

It was right then and there, as these thoughts swirled through my brain, that I realized it would not matter to me one bit if my daughter ever wanted to slip on the leotard and get back to the gym. I am proud of her for trying her best and for being so brave to try a sport that I personally find pretty scary. And then she showed us more of what she is really made of.

After surgery and a brief time in recovery, she said she was ready to go home. Once there, she read out loud all of the get well cards that her classmates sent her and then she invited her friends over to hang out. She shared her Chick-Fil-A fries with them and hung out on the couch watching cheesy Disney shows with them, making sure that they were properly entertained and cared for. When she needed help from me or my wife, she was unafraid to ask for it. She also said she didn't want the pain medication that the doctor prescribed - she didn't like how it made her feel. And not once has she complained about being in pain or the fact that it could be months before she can go back in the gym again. The only disappointment she showed was not being able to go to school tomorrow.

I gotta be honest, it's times like these when I really look up to my kids and hope I can learn from them. As an adult, it's not a broken bone that concerns me but rather the potential for my dreams to be shattered. Yet here is a nine-year-old girl who is unafraid to take what life gives her and make it into something sweet.

Sometimes our dreams aren't the dreams that God has for us and sometimes we just need a little extra time before we can see our dreams fulfilled. But regardless of the circumstances, it is up to us to determine how we will handle life's ups and downs along the way. Jesus told us not to worry (Matthew 6:33) and Paul echoed that sentiment (Philippians 4:6). And they did so not because what we experience does not affect us or is unimportant but rather because God is greater than any difficulty or struggle we could ever encounter.

Dreams are great and we should keep on striving to live the dreams that God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes life will throw a wrench in our plans and derail these dreams, even if only temporarily. But if we keep our eyes on Jesus - "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" - then we can know that regardless of the outcome that we desired, God will always give us exactly what we need - "and all of these things will be added unto you."

The day after the day after

Memories are an amazing thing. Those moments that you have experienced in your life - the laughter, adventures, times you have felt most alive and daring - are things that no one can take away from you. Memories are God's ways of allowing us to hold on to the best of times so that we never have to let them go.

Of course memories can serve a different purpose than just allowing us to revel in the past. When I was a kid, I can remember times when I wish I had made different decisions. Throwing a rock and hitting the neighborhood bully was one of those memories I wish I could forget. Yeah, he may have deserved it and if it wasn't me then it probably would have been someone else throwing that rock, but what sticks with me more is the vivid recollection of the whooping I got with my dad's leather belt when he got home from work later that day. That memory still stings! But I can also tell you that I never threw rocks at that kid or any other kid again and somewhere along the way I actually learned to be civil with that neighborhood bully.

Two days ago my little community of Southport, NC, lost one of its own, Lily Beatini, a high school senior who was set to join her fellow seniors for graduation practice today. There will be an empty chair where she should have been, and for many students and teachers there is still an empty place in their hearts reserved for a friend that they desperately miss. Pain, anger, frustration, and hurt are in a constant battle to fill that spot, and for many of them the feeling of despair is almost too real and overwhelming. It's been a hard couple of days and the day after the day after will be another challenging one. My heart aches for her family and these students and this school who are struggling to carry on.

Yet there are some pretty amazing memories out there as well, aren't there? Memories of a short fire plug of a girl who was just as quick to share her opinion as she was her smile. Memories of a friend who drove a larger-than-life Suburban that made her look like the queen of the highway. Memories of a someone who made everyone smile when they saw her in the halls. These are just some of the memories that have been shared with me these past few days, and I have seen many find comfort in the laughter amidst the tears. It's been so easy for Lily's friends to share funny stories and meaningful times that they enjoyed with her because those sweet memories far outweigh any of the bad.

And that's the way it's supposed to be.

No one can take the memories of the good times away from you. When the tears start to come again and you find yourself starting to recede back into a dark place, allow those memories to flood your soul. Let them propel you to remember the best of times, because those times are what God has given to you as a gift. Eighteen years may not seem like enough time on this earth, but it's more than enough time to live an amazing life and leave friends and family with incredible memories that can never be taken away. Lily, thanks for the memories.

I ain't skeered! Are you?

Have you ever seen a big, strong weight lifter scream like a little girl when he sees a spider? Or how about a seasoned defense attorney freak out over a paper cut to her index finger? Maybe you haven't, but you can certainly picture the scenario in your head and have probably seen something similar.

We live in a world where we all want to be seen as tough and fear is a taboo to be avoided. How many movies do you see where the coward is the hero? Yet in spite of our best efforts, if we were to sit in a support group circle together and allow our defenses to come down, we would all admit to being scared of plenty of things.

• The possibility of our health or the health of our children being compromised
• Losing a job and being unable to support our families
• What the future of our country will look like, which means we either have Trump-phobia, Hillary-phobia, Bernie-phobia, Republican-phobia, Democrat-phobia, etc. ad nauseum.
• Or maybe we are afraid of what we see as international threats, such as ISIS, nuclear capabilities of North Korea, or our perceived leaky borders. 
• The eventual takeover of the world by the Illuminati and the One World Order (c'mon, everybody is scared of a good conspiracy theory now and then!).
• Spiders. Because spiders are ALWAYS scary.

Whatever it is that you fear in this world, you often feel justified in your fears because the media has a unique way of stoking the flames of paranoia and hysteria. A few clicks on the keyboard will open up a cornucopia of websites and facts and figures as to why your fears are legitimate and you had better start stocking up on Spam and freeze dried vegetables right away. The fear is real!

But what if you realized that your fears don't actually help you cope with the looming gloom and doom that you are so certain is coming? What if you realized instead that in spite of being helpless to defend yourself against the coming Armageddon of bad healthcare/skewed politics/imminent poverty/etc., you are perfectly safe right where you are? Would you believe that?

Truth is, bad things are going to happen in this world. We've been working for centuries to fight diseases, boost the economy, defeat fascists, and improve the environment, yet time and again we have still seen people suffer and lives lost. It's at these times we are tempted to climb in our bunkers, put on our tin foil hats, and hope for the best. What we need to realize is that not only is help on the way, but that help is already here.

Whether you see it or not or agree with it or not, God is in control. He is what we call "sovereign." Nothing escapes His sight and He is well aware of the condition of our world right now. After all, He has allowed us to make the decisions that have gotten us into the messes in which we so often find ourselves. And if you believe that and you believe that Jesus came to give you life and the relationship with God that you were ultimately created for, then you probably already know that one day the Lord will return and rescue us from this mess and carry us with Him into a perfect eternity. The best is yet to come!

But for now we must live in hope and endure the hard times. God has not left us here to blow around in the winds of uncertainty, but rather He is with us every step of the way. I love the words that He spoke to Israel a few thousand years ago when they found themselves enveloped in a tempest of uncertainty:

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand... For I, the Lord God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."      (Isaiah 41:10, 13)

Twice they were told to "fear not" because there is truly nothing to fear. Did the "wrong" candidate get elected? Fear not, God is in control. Are you afraid of what the doctor's lab work will show? Fear not, God has you in His right hand. Terrified of the world that your children will have to face in the future? Fear not, God's got this.

If we are going to "fear not" then we have to believe that God is bigger than our fears. There will continue to be many things beyond our control that will cause us to wring our hands and worry about the future, causing our fear meters to spike. Yet we can take comfort in knowing that we serve a God who is greater than all our fears. 

Will that I will know God's will, or something like that

He looked at me in all seriousness and said, "I honestly believe it was God's will for me to leave my wife and kids to be with her. She makes me happy, happier than I've ever been in my life. When I'm with her, I feel fulfilled, as if the missing pieces of my life have suddenly been put into place. God wants me to be happy, right?"

Pretty cringe-worthy statements there, huh? Maybe you're thinking that there is no way in the world God's will is for someone to get a divorce because he's in love with another woman, and I am right there with you. But the problem we all face at some point is that we struggle to know what God's will is in the first place. Truth be told, the foundation of our desire to know God's will isn't too far off this guy's desire to "upgrade" his choice in wives - we want God's will to benefit us. In other words, we know what we want and we hope and pray that God will rubber stamp it for us, hence making His will conform to our will.

When it comes right down to it, how many of us can even define what God's "will" even is? And what if what we believe God wants for our lives contradicts the truth that we find in the pages of the Bible? Can we still find ways to force it into our lives and justify it?

These questions are not meant to disparage anyone, but rather to start the thinking process. I believe we all want to know God's will for our lives, yet finding out exactly what His will is can be a lot like picking perfect NCAA brackets. It's a lot harder than it looks. Over the years I've wanted to know what God's will for my life was in very specific areas:

• What job will I one day have?
• Who will I marry?
• Where will I live?
• Will Wake Forest ever be good in basketball again?

But is that all there is to God's will, just wanting to know the who/what/where/why/how of our own lives? Doesn't that limit the scope just a bit? Yes it does. God's will belongs to God, not us, and so He is the focal point. We become the gracious beneficiaries of His eternal and perfect desires and plans, not the arbiters of how we want things to go.

The Sermon on the Mount in the book of Matthew is perhaps the most well-known and studied teaching session of Jesus. In this passage He unpacks so many nuggets of goodness that we could feast on it for weeks on end without ever getting enough. And in this amazing section of truth, Jesus actually addresses God's will for our lives, yet perhaps not in the cut-and-dry way that we would prefer.

In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus teaches us what has become known as The Lord's Prayer, a template for how we can approach God through the discipline of prayer. In verse 10 He reveals this gem:

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

From that brief statement, we learn a ton about what God's will is - and isn't - and how it applies to our lives. We see that God's will exists in heaven and heaven is a place where God resides. Therefore, God's will is perfect, because God is perfect. His will is driven by His very nature and character, which means that His will will always glorify who He is and never point to sinfulness. As a result of these truths, we can know for certain that God's will in our lives will always involve those things that bring glory and honor to Him above all else.

This understanding may not answer the question of specifically whom you are going to marry one day, but it does tell you that whomever you pursue as a spouse should be one whose life honors God above anything else. 

And from this you may not find the specifics to where you will one day work or live, but you can be assured that whatever occupation you choose or destination you call home should be done so to glorify God above all else.

College in the future? Consider how best you can glorify God in your choice of higher education.

On and on we could go, but I think that you see the trend here. Perhaps the greatest area of God's will that we need to grasp is that God's will is all about His will and not simply what we want for our lives. God is good - all the time - and inside His perfect will lies His perfect plans and ways that often fall beyond our scope of understanding. 

God wants what is best for us. He is not a capricious God who wants to dash our hopes and dreams. After all, He is the one who gave us the ability to hope and dream in the first place! But we will only truly begin to discover God's will when we earnestly seek after Him from the get go. You wanna know God's will for your life? Then seek to know God, the designer and executor of His perfect will. Seek first His kingdom, and all these things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).

It isn't all apples and oranges after all

In the beginning of time, there was a garden (Genesis 3). In this garden lived a man and a woman, Adam and Eve, both of whom had been designated by God to tend the garden and all that was in it. All the fruits of their labor - which was really not labor at all - were to be enjoyed. All except for the fruit of one tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The moment that they should choose to eat of it was the moment they would begin to die.

Life was utopia for Adam and Eve. They dwelt with God and enjoyed the bounty of His generosity. They were as free as two humans could be. There were no needs that they could possible have that God would fail to meet. They were naked but unashamed, for they were free of the stigma of being exposed. Their relationship with God was perfect and pure for nothing existed that had tarnished it. Yet.

One day, as Eve was tending the garden on her own, the enemy came to her clothed as a serpent. "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?'" and for the first time in history the seeds of doubt were sown into the human mind.

Eve knew God's command - Do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil - but the temptation that lay before her was great. The enemy did not appeal to her physical hunger, for she had more than enough food. Nor did he entice her with the best tasting of all fruits - everything in the garden would have pleased the palate. Instead, the enemy sought to hook Eve with the idea that eating the fruit would make her an equal with God, which proved to be a temptation too much for her to resist.

The rest of the story has a tragic ending. Eve did eat of the fruit and Adam followed right behind her. Sure, their eyes were opened, but not in the way in they anticipated. Instead, for the first time they realized guilt and shame, all because they willfully chose to betray God. At this moment in time, sin was born and death came to town.

When studying the story of Adam and Eve and their subsequent fall, many will say that it was pride or greed that led them to embrace sin that day. But more than that, the real enemy that squared off against Adam and Eve that day - and the primary enemy that we face every day - is the sin of idolatry.

You see, Eve and then Adam chose to push God off of the throne of their lives and chose to worship their own selfish desires instead.

That's what idolatry is. It's forcing God off of His throne in your heart and replacing Him with whatever else you foolishly believe will provide stability, joy, or purpose to your life. All sin is the sin of idolatry, for when we sin we are essentially looking at God and telling Him to step aside so that we can worship the desires of our own flesh.

Every single day, you and I are faced with the same challenge that began in that garden so long ago: Who or what will remain on the throne of our lives? When we seek after anything or anyone other than God, then we have abdicated His throne in favor of a false idol. Look, we may never say the words "God is not enough," but when we put some worthless idol in His place, that's exactly what we are telling Him.

The enemy will whisper in your ear, but he is incapable of making decision for you. May we all be satisfied with our limitations and relish in the fact that our God fills in all the gaps that we may have in our lives so that nothing we could choose could ever overtake what He gives.

Helping when it all seems so helpless

Just in case you just climbed out of a time capsule, I just wanted to let you know that the news lately hasn't been all that good. We can start with the terror attacks in Paris last Friday, where over 100 people were senselessly murdered in a hail of gunfire, bombs, and mayhem. The media has made sure that we know every ounce of information (and disinformation) about this tragedy, and in doing so we have all been made even more aware of the horrific plight that the Syrian refugees are facing in their attempt to escape their homeland in the advance of ISIS plundering and domination.

The conundrums that these issues have raised are numerous. There are many who desperately want to help those in need right now - how can we turn away Syrian refugees who are desperately seeking a safe haven in which to raise their families? Others, however, are exercising caution for fear that another country's conflict might be brought to their own backyard. Passions are inflamed, accusations are hurled, politicians are grandstanding, and social medial is bursting at the seams with ill-informed rhetoric and cyber narcissism.

What are we supposed to do?

There is no simple answer to this question and gaining any semblance of consensus seems next to impossible. As one who has tried unsuccessfully to use online outlets (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to engage in positive dialogue about divisive issues, I want to take a few minutes of your time to offer a few suggestions about what all of us might want to do as we wrestle with these issues and seek some sort of path toward a solution that we will want to take. While these ideas may seem simplistic and certainly aren't exhaustive, I hope that they can serve as a good starting point for many of you.

First, we all need to understand that any humanitarian crisis is a big deal, not just the one(s) that the media draws to our attention. This is no way diminishes the urgency of the situation with the Syrian refugees, but if you did not know any better you would think that outside of Syria and northern Iraq the rest of the world was all unicorns and butterflies. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

• Right now the Ebola virus is still ravaging many areas of West Africa, especially the countries of Liberia and Sierra Leone. Over 6,000 men, women, and children have died from the disease so far and it's spread is far from contained.
• Over the past few years 2.4 million people have been displaced in South Sudan due to war and as many as 4.6 million people will face food shortages in that region this year.
• 2.5 million people across Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras face food shortages due to severe drought that has prohibited the cultivation of their staple crops.
• Ongoing conflict in the Central African Republic has displaced at least 430,000 people from their homes.

The list goes on - Afghanistan, Haiti, Iraq, Nepal. Most of these crises are not new; they have been ongoing for months and years, yet the media is eerily silent on them. My point is that there is a lot of pain going on in our world right now that needs our collective attention. The tragedy occurring in Syria is despicable and is most certainly urgent, yet at the same time we do not have the right to pick and choose which humanitarian crisis is more worthy of our attention.

This understanding leads to my second suggestion: Respect that others may not share your passion for the same crisis that has gripped your heart and emotions. Why is this important? Because arguing with someone on Facebook or Twitter has never (at least to my knowledge) solved any major world crisis. The man or woman who is not passionate about the Syrian refugees in the same way that you are may not be bigoted or hate-filled - it may be that he or she is invested in other similar worthy causes that have grabbed their heart strings.

Sure, there are idiots out there who want to label everyone a terrorist and attempt to deny them their basic needs, but more often than not the vast majority do not understand the ramifications of the crisis at hand because the information being fed to them comes from multiple one-sided sources. Engaging in verbal sparring matches on social media will not help the greater cause at hand. Sure, you may be right about your position, but there may be nothing more polarizing than turning your passion for a cause into a know-it-all symposium where you shame anyone and everyone who does not share your views.

Finally, be proactive. Do what you know to do right now. This may be raising awareness in a forum that is respected and trusted (contacting your government officials, doing thorough research of the issues, etc.), give financially to those organizations that have the means to help right now, or committing yourself to pray for those affected by senseless tragedies. Whatever you choose to do, do it in the direction that changes things in a positive direction no matter how small or insignificant others may perceive it to be. World Vision, International Justice Mission, and The A21 Campaign are just a few of the organizations out there that are seeking to help those who are in the greatest need. Anything that you give is better than nothing at all. Get out from behind your keyboard and do something.

When it comes to humanitarian issues, most of us can agree that helping is a good thing. While we may not always agree on politics and the solutions to the worlds problems, you don't need permission to care. Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). He also warned us to protect those who have been entrusted to our care from those who would bring them harm or lead them astray (John 10:1-13). Yes, there is a tension here, but none of that can keep you or me from doing what we can to seek justice and provide for those who are in desperate need right now.

What I told God this morning

God, first let me thank you for this new day You have given to me. From where I sit, I can see blue sky and the sun shining. What a gift! A new day to live and move and breathe. I couldn't ask for much more. Thank You!

I'm also incredibly grateful for forgiveness. Without Your forgiveness, God, I would have no idea how to forgive others. Oh, and I'm really thankful for grace. Without Your grace, I would be a big mess. God, Your grace is amazing!

You know God, there is a lot of junk going on in our world, stuff that weighs heavy on my heart. It seems like different groups of people just keep on hating each other and there seems to be no room for dialogue or resolution. Father God, forgive me for getting caught up in hate during my life, for viewing other people through the lens of fear and mistrust instead of seeing them as in desperate need of Your love and grace. I know that I can't change people, but You can. You give Your love and grace freely to me; how can I withhold it from others, even when they don't "deserve" it? So God, show everyone how awesome you are and how amazing Jesus is.

Lord, it's great to be alive. My goal for today is not so much to make the most of every moment or complete a check list. No, today I want my life to ooze Jesus. When people see me coming, I want them to see a guy who loves Jesus with every fiber of his being and it shows. I know I am far from perfect, but You want to use me anyway. Use me for Your glory, not my own.

I want to be a great husband and father, a faithful friend, a committed servant leader, and a lover of people. God, Your love for me has made that a desire in my heart. If I'm gonna pull this off, I need all of the strength and direction that You can muster for me. 

With that being said, let me finish by telling You how much I need You, God. Help me to be less dependent upon myself and much more dependent upon You. I've done the whole "I-can-do-this-on-my-own" song and dance routine enough to know that it never really works out that well for me. That's because I wasn't created for me. I was created for You.

Thanks for hearing me today, God. You are good, all the time. I love You and consider it an honor to be loved by You. Talk to You again soon.

Your child,
Sterling