The Jesus dilemma

“All the tax collectors and sinners were approaching to listen to Jesus.
And the Pharisees and scribes were complaining, ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them!’” (Luke 15:1-2)

In those two brief verses, the entire ministry of Jesus can be summed up as well as the legacy of the church that has been tasked to follow after Him. While He was on earth, Jesus loved those who were far from God while the religious leaders of His day hated Him for it. Unfortunately, that pattern still holds true today.

Years ago, someone coined the phrase “What Would Jesus Do?” (WWJD) and from that spawned countless bracelets, t-shirts, and Wednesday messages from youth pastors. The idea was that if it was good enough for Jesus, then it should be good enough for us, too. And what exactly was good enough for Jesus? Luke 15:1 gives us the answer – He loved those who were far from God.

Today’s Christians – myself included – have too often chosen to take this idea of loving those who are far from God by sending the love of Jesus to far away places in the form of missions and charitable giving. This isn’t a bad idea because, after all, those places have lots of people who are far from God and if we take Jesus to them then maybe they will love Him too, right? Besides, we are going to give them and their kids lots of cool trinkets and hard-hitting gospel messages that will warn them of God’s wrath to come. And then, of course, we will pack up our stuff, drive or fly back home, and have an emotional Sunday service where participants wearing matching t-shirts share testimonies and slides illustrating just how much God did through them when they went to these faraway places to share His love to those who desperately needed it. Can I get an amen?!?

Before you send me hate mail for being so incredibly cynical about the short-term mission trips you have participated in, hear me out. The above illustration is only one example of the dilemma that Christians find themselves in when it comes to loving people like Jesus loved people. I don’t know that I have ever been around a group of believers who did NOT want to see people far from God come into a saving relationship through Jesus Christ. I have never heard a fellow Christian pray, “Lord, DON’T save this person and DON’T let them know the love of Jesus.” To say those things would be absolutely ridiculous, right?

Yet...

How easy it is for fellow Christians to act and sound more like the angry old man who demands that those punk kids stay off his lawn:

• “We can’t put more in the church budget for missions or charitable giving – we need to get this building paid off!”
• “I can’t believe that anyone would support an organization like Planned Parenthood! Those people have no value for human life! And while I’m at it, I hope they catch that immigrant who shot that woman. He should hang for his crime – he doesn’t deserve to live!”
•  “Let’s plan another fall festival for October. Maybe all those people from the neighborhood down the road will come this year so that we can finally reach out to them.”
• “I don’t think I have enough to time to volunteer at the homeless shelter. There is this new Bible study on Tuesday nights that I am in – it’s about loving your neighbor. And then I have choir rehearsal for Sunday morning and don’t forget Sunday night Bible study at the Martin’s house. Oh, and Wednesday we will be at the church leading the children in how to write letters of encouragement to missionaries overseas. Maybe I will have more time later to help out.”
• “Did you hear what that other church down the road is doing? They have members that are opening their home to immigrants who are being relocated to our town. How dangerous does that sound! I would never take the chance of putting my family at risk to help those people – Lord only knows what kind of criminal things they want to do in our country.”

If you have heard or experienced these same kinds of statements, then you can understand how we may be in far more danger of sounding and looking like the religious leaders in Luke 15:2 – complaining about others who are striving to live and love like Jesus did – than we are of actually living and loving like Jesus did.

It is not easy to be a follower of Jesus in the 21st Century. Jesus Himself even said that following Him would be difficult. But it is much more difficult to truly follow Him and love those who are far from God when we as His church have created so many boundaries and safe zones for ourselves that we never actually have to be in close contact with those people in the first place. When the life that Jesus lived every single day looks more like an isolated mission project to His followers, then we have indeed found ourselves in a most precarious dilemma.

Give me those old time relationships

When I was a kid the world around me was unique and often intimidating. The mall where my parent's shopped was this huge complex of endless stores and easy places for kids like me to get lost. Fast food restaurants were exotic stops reserved for special occasions where I could peek over the counter as the workers whipped up a milkshake for me while steaming hot fries awaited me beside a fresh made burger. Even my backyard appeared as big as a football field on which I could wear my little self out everyday running and playing with my brothers and my friends.

As easy as it is to romanticize about the "good old days," it's also easy to realize that those places and events weren't so exquisite as I once believed. I can now walk from one end of the mall to the other in a matter of minutes and there are virtually no stores in which I would choose to venture, much less get lost in. Those milkshakes, fries, and burgers are certainly not a treat anymore and the older I get the more I realize that meals from those places did not constitute special occasions; rather, they were convenience stops when life got too busy or mom had not gone grocery shopping yet. That old backyard is still pretty awesome, but it's really more the size of a tennis court than an NFL stadium.

Perspective is everything when it comes to assessing the experiences from our youth. I still choose to romanticize those early days of my existence because those times were so essential to my formation as a young man. Even when those good old days turn out to be not as sacred as I remember, I still find benefit from clinging to a version of the past that causes me to pause and smile, pondering simpler times and experiences that appeared bigger than life. No harm in that, right?

Don't you wish all of life's experiences were that way? Unfortunately, reality has a way of smacking you in the face as you approach adulthood and you realize at some point that living in the past isn't going to get you all that far. This doesn't mean that you have to grow up as a cynic - life is still pretty sweet and the new experiences that you face everyday can be just as good as the ones in your past, ones that you will probably romanticize about ten or twenty years down the road.

Some of my fondest memories are of sitting beside my grandfather on hard wooden pews in a small Baptist church as he gently nudged me to stop fidgeting during the sermon and then listening to his deep baritone voice as he belted out the chorus to I Surrender at the altar call. I don't remember all that much about the content of what I heard or the organizational structure of that little church, but I do remember the people there and how special they made my experiences in Sunday School and at church fellowships. It was those humble beginnings that fueled the fire within me to serve the Lord full-time in vocational Christian ministry.

As good as those times were, I knew that they could not last. Today, that little church is a shell of what it used to be. Most of those congregants from my early days there have either moved on or gone home to the Lord, while the church never was able to move on beyond those simpler times in the 1970's. Those traditional ways were eventually eclipsed by the inevitable shift in our culture with people today preferring a more modern approach to their Sunday experience. Debates have been raging for decades over whether the traditional style church has its place anymore or whether the contemporary structure is what we should all embrace.

Yet if we take a really close look at what is going on in the churches around us, we will see that it's not really about stye or structural changes that are getting people all worked up. Instead, it is the radical change in relationships that so many are experiencing as life gets more complicated and families have less and less time.

Today, people are hungry for real "I-get-you-and-you-get-me" relationships - but they always have been. That's what held that little Baptist church together for all those years, the men and women who "did life together" and invested so much time in each other. Having the pastor preach a sermon that was rooted in the truth of God's word was and still is essential, but even when he had an "off day" those members still had their community rooted in faith to stand upon.

Those memories of people who loved and invested in me are the ones that I cherish the most but they also remain my deepest desires. I honestly no longer have all that much of a preference of style when it comes to church because I believe that when the men and women of God are seeking His face above all else and intentionally engaging in meaningful relationships with one another, all of that pans out in the end. I'm not so sure that we need to "rethink church" or craft newer expressions of worship. Maybe it's as simple as reevaluating the relationships that we have with each other regardless of the size of our gathering. When Christ is central and we are seeking to meet the needs of each other, I will romanticize about that all day.

Open hands and letting go

Several weeks ago I ran across an article that described the kind of person that I am to the letter. The writer described a group of people that he referred to as "introverted extroverts," those who are outgoing and not shy about being in the public eye yet are just as comfortable being alone with a book or sitting in a quiet place.  If you know me, then you know how much I love to talk and be with people, but it might surprise you just how much alone time I prefer (and need).
In spite of my hidden extrovertedness, I realize that life is not meant to be lived alone. We were made for relationships, first with God and then each other. Consider God's words to us in the Old Testament book of Genesis:

So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female. (Genesis 1:27)

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper as his compliment." (Genesis 2:18)

So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9)

From these verses we know that God created us in His image so that we could know Him in a real and personal way and that as human beings we are better together. In particular, the family unit includes those kinds of relationships that God had in mind from the beginning. My wife is absolutely my best friend and closest confidant and my children bring great joy and satisfaction to my life.

Which is why this past week has been such a challenging week for the Griggs' family. On Thursday, my wife and I moved our second oldest daughter, who is only fourteen, into the University of North Carolina School of the Arts High School, almost four hours away. The school itself is amazing and the academics are top notch. She has a super cool roommate and the students are well taken care of on a very secure campus. This is an unbelievable opportunity for her to grow not only as an artist but also as young woman.

The struggle for me is not how she will do away at school or whether or not she will be okay. Instead, my biggest concern is how I will do at home with her so far away. As a family of six, we are all so very different from one another, yet we also have shared a unique relational rhythm for the past eighteen years. With the addition of each child to the mix, my wife and I were able to adjust to a new normal and we thrived a little bit more as our family grew. Now that we have subtracted a child at least for a season, the gap in our family dynamics feels like a gaping hole at times.

As I begin to adjust to a newer kind of normal with my daughter away at school, I am keenly aware of just how precious relationships are to me. I am grateful that our family is so close and that we can allow our kids to go and experience the world with open hands, even if they are more ready to go than we are to let them go. This experience has also reinforced just how important my other relationships with friends and co-laborers are.

It is hard to let others that are close to you move on so that they can flourish. Yet it is so rewarding to see them ready to go, knowing that you have invested as much as you can in their lives to prepare them for these moments. Life is indeed better lived together.

We aren't starting over, we're just turning down a new road

This past Monday morning June 19, 2017, a couple of trailers and a whole host of people showed up at our town home in Southport, NC, to help us pack our lives up and move us up to Wilmington, NC. For several hours we sweated, laughed, grunted at ridiculously heavy pieces of furniture, and laughed some more.

Our journey to Wilmington began towards the end of last summer with a bit of a nudge. Both my wife and I sensed that God was moving us in that direction, but we weren't exactly sure why. My position at the church I was serving in was going and growing well - I truly enjoyed being both a Teaching Pastor and Connections Pastor there, helping people plug in and take their next step with God. Even though my wife is a nursing professor at UNCW, she was okay driving back and forth a few days a week. Our kids had all of their friends in Southport and we lived in a really cool community. Why move?

God continued to nudge us and we continued to pray for His wisdom and guidance. At the beginning of December, some dear friends of ours from Wilmington told us about a house in their neighborhood that had just gone on the market, for sale by owner. They said it would be perfect for our family and we should check it out. Being familiar with the neighborhood and loving how it was laid out, we said why not, let's take a look. We loved the home the moment we set foot inside of it.

Things began rolling after that. Within a week's time we had come to an agreement with the home owner and on January 31, 2017, we closed on our new home. We decided that we would wait until the end of the school year before we moved in, giving our children the chance to finish at their respective schools and to have that valuable time with their friends. In the meantime, we would venture one or two days a week to change paint colors and put our own touches on the place. Three days ago that house officially became our new home.

As you read this story, you may notice that there is one element missing. What am I going to do as far as ministry is concerned now that I am in Wilmington? That's a great question - I'm glad you asked!

Even though the future for my ministry was unclear, from the very beginning my wife and I had a peace about this move. Let me rephrase that. We had a intermittent peace about the move, interspersed with doubting and second guessing and moments of panic. Are doing the right thing? Maybe we misunderstood what God was trying to show us? Why move now when things are going so good?

As we wrestled with these realities, there was one constant at the forefront of all our planning, dreaming, excitement, and worries - God is faithful. He has a plan and His plan is always better than anything I could possibly scheme. So as far as what I will be doing up here, the moment those trailers pulled up in front of our new home this past Monday, my new ministry began.

I want to be the best neighbor that I can possibly be, loving my new neighbors well and being a godly influence in my new community. But my plan is not to just sit at home and be nice to people - I am actively seeking opportunities where I can serve and work and give of myself, utilizing the gifts that God has given to me. We are also now just a short drive from UNCW, which means that our new home will be open to college students who are looking for a place to "get away." In short, this new home is the beginning of an exciting new ministry for our family.

Moving is hard and unbelievably fatiguing. But moving is also exhilarating when you are following the path that you believe God has set before you. For me and my family, moving to Wilmington doesn't mean that we are starting over, because God's path for our lives hasn't changed. Instead, we are taking a turn along the way to somewhere new. Life is a journey and life is ministry. Y'all come see us!

Fix it before it breaks you

Beaver Bottom Church had a problem. Actually, they had lots of problems but this one stood out more than any of the others. It seems that the new pastor, Rev. Donald Doorite, was wanting to nix the canine evangelism program that had been run out of their fellowship hall for the past 17 years.

The distinguished Mr. Harold Winston Higgenbotham, lifelong member and self-proclaimed top tither at Beaver Bottom Church, started and initially funded the canine evangelism program after his daughter came home from a Disney movie convinced that dogs could - and should - go to heaven. Because Mr. Higgenbotham was such a faithful giver and dominant voice in the church, no one really opposed the idea. Besides, maybe dogs do go to heaven, they reasoned.

Now almost two decades later, Mr. Higgenbotham and his immediate family was long gone, having left Beaver Bottom Church in a huff after a disagreement over the color of the new carpet in the sanctuary. Yet the canine evangelism program was still funded in the church budget even though not one pooch had yet to be baptized on a Sunday morning. Something had to give.

When Rev. Doorite looked over the church budget items in his first few weeks on the job, the canine evangelism line item immediately caught his eye. "What in the name of potluck dinners is this?" he half whispered, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing on the spreadsheet before him. His ire was further stoked when he realized that more money went to saving the souls of dogs than it did to seeing that men and women in the community had a chance to hear the gospel. Something had to change!

At the next deacon's meeting, Rev. Doorite waited until the regular church business was discussed before broaching the subject of the canine evangelism program. He began by expressing how much he enjoyed the companionship of his own rescued golden retriever, Goldie Locks, and that the humane treatment of animals was very important to him. "However," said Rev. Doorite, "I do not see how we can continue to fund and staff a ministry with volunteers that simply doesn't work. We are in the business of human souls, not doggie goals."

To the Reverend's surprise, the backlash he received at the suggestion of redirecting all the canine cash was immediate. "We can't cut that program!" hollered Edgar Needlemeyer. "The dogs really like it and we've had at least one family join the church as the result of the program." Marion Twopence chimed in, "We can't end that program! Sure, puppy proselytizing may not be popular in most churches, but what would Mrs. Mary Swanson do without it? She's been volunteering every week since it began. What will SHE do now?"

On and on came the dissent and angry protests. Rev. Doorite could almost feel the mutiny in the room and he knew he had to act quickly before he lost what little control he had. "Gentlemen, please! Let's table this matter for next month's meeting when we can come back together for what I hope will be perhaps a more helpful - and less contentious - discussion. In the meantime, I urge each of you to look over the church budget and see how these doggie dollars can be better served in other ministry areas." While this suggestion calmed the crowd for the moment, the grunts, glares, and mumbles of the deacons as they left the room let Rev. Doorite know that he had more than his work cut out for him.

Okay, so this story didn't really happen. And if your church does have a canine evangelism program in place then, well, I simply have no words. But I think you get my over-exaggerated point. Whether it is in a ministry setting such as today's churches or the business world, there will always be those programs that have either run their course or no longer effectively meet the needs or vision of your organization. When that happens, it takes forethought and courage to realize that it's time to shut it down.

"But we've always done it this way!" "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" "But we can't cancel this program because, well, we just can't!" All of these protests and more will be heard when ministers and other leaders see the value in redirecting the resources that unneeded programs can drain from an organization. When that happens, it can be very difficult to resist the naysayers in favor of maintaining the status quo, but resist you must.

Let me share with you what takes real courage for leaders to say when faced with a deficient pet-program that many in the organization still hold onto with a desperate grasp - "We tried, but it didn't work, so let's move on to something that will work." It is this mentality that is missing in so many churches and business organizations, yet it can be the most freeing and innovating concept that they can grasp.

Vision was never intended to be static. It is meant to grow and flourish as we nourish it with our passion for seeing others benefit from our efforts. If you are in the business world and you refuse to adapt and retool your vision to match the industry, your doors won't stay open much longer. In a ministry context, if our programs are not intentionally either pointing people to faith in Jesus or growing men and women to be more faithful followers of Jesus, then it's time to pull the plug on them, even if they are still popular and draw interest among our people.

Failure isn't the worst thing that can happen to your business or ministry. Being unwilling to admit it just might be. And that's the doggone truth.