Underdog

Steve reached into the kitchen cabinet for a real plate, not one of the cheap paper ones that his family normally used. With a large family, paper plates were the typical go-to for any occasion, but sometimes you need the real thing to get the job done, such as heating up leftovers in the microwave.

As he eyed the stack of mid-sized plates, he paused, not reaching for the one on top. Instead, reaching down to the fourth plate, he lifted it and gently slid the fifth one in line out of its position, careful to not let the stack slam back down when he was done. With his conquest in hand he could now commence with satisfying his hunger with leftover meatloaf from last night’s dinner.

Why grab a plate from the middle of the stack and not the one on top, you may ask? The answer lies in the story of the underdog. Steve considers himself to be a champion of the underdog, that one guy who will cast his bet on the horse with the longest odds or the team that Vegas won’t touch. Okay, so why is a plate considered an underdog? That’s a fair question that Steve is more than happy to answer.

Let’s begin with dishes and how they are washed, dried, and then stacked for future use. Unlike stock that is rotated in a grocery store, dishes are usually placed on top of others in the cabinet. This means that the dishes toward the bottom of the stack might rarely if ever be used, consigning them to a life of uselessness as other kitchen objects get all the love and the glory.

Sound crazy, maybe even a bit neurotic? Steve wouldn’t blame you if you thought he was and honestly, it does seem a little bit wacky to him, too. But to understand his desire to see all people - and kitchen objects - treated as equals requires that you dig a bit deeper into Steve’s background.

Growing up in the 1970’s, there simply wasn’t an easy way to follow sports from across the country. There were no 24-7 sports channels or internet sites that gave real time scores and information. Instead, you had to rely on the newspaper or the occasional Saturday sports broadcast on the national networks. Because of that, local teams gained a much more loyal fan base since they were easily accessible. Steve, naturally, followed his beloved Demon Deacons of Wake Forest University, his hometown team.

If you know anything at all about Wake Forest University then it’s probably because you grew up near the school or you are a fan of ACC sports. With an enrollment that hovers around 4,000 students, it is one of the smallest universities that participates in NCAA Division 1 sports. And with schools such as UNC, Duke, and NC State right up the road, recruiting gifted athletes can be a most difficult prospect, leaving Wake fans to be believe that they often received the leftovers that the other big schools chose not to pursue.

Attending Wake Forest football games on a crisp fall afternoon always gave Steve a thrill, even when it was obvious that the opposing team often had more fans in the stands than Wake Forest did. And then there were the consistent beat downs received on a given Saturday. But these lopsided scores didn’t faze Steve. If anything, they endeared him even more to his beloved Demon Deacons, for with each gut-wrenching effort his boys gave on the field he could see a fierce pride in the eyes peering behind the face masks, even if victory was a far fetched proposition. As a result, Steve never saw the Wake Forest players giving up on the field so why should he give up on them?

Sure, there were those glorious days when victory was achieved and the thrill of it was sweet. Consider the 2006 football season. Picked to finish dead last - again - Wake Forest put together a season that ended with an ACC championship over Georgia Tech and a trip to the Orange Bowl in Miami, FL, which they ultimately lost to Louisville. He vividly remembers looking around at the sea of black and gold in those stands in Miami, not sure that he had ever been prouder. He couldn’t remember exactly where he had heard it, but it was said that there were more Wake Fans assembled at that Orange Bowl game than at any other even in the history of the school. Steve believed it.

Off and on for decades, Steve had experienced the highs and much more often lows of being a Wake Forest fan, and not just in football. Wake Forest basketball had long been considered the calling card for the athletic program, but even then the victories were more often overshadowed by the difficult defeats. Winning back-to-back ACC tournament titles in 1995 and 1996 with the likes of Tim Duncan and Randolph Childress at the helm were some of the most exciting times that Steve could remember, but even then the disappointing early NCAA tournament exits left an even more bitter aftertaste.

Still, Steve was not going to ditch his team in spite of inconsistent performances and years where the rains never seemed to quench the parched land. He had followed the Atlanta Braves during their brutal seasons in the 1980’s for goodness sakes, refusing to jump on the bandwagon of other more successful teams. If it meant that cheering for his beloved Demon Deacons meant that he would be championing a perpetual underdog year after year, then so be it.

Unbeknownst to Steve, this devotion to a team that he knew would have more of its share of losses than wins would cause a shift in how he viewed people as well. The changes were subtle at first but over time they became a habit that never faded away. For instance, there was Edward, the guy in high school who didn’t wear fancy clothes and whose glasses were held together by tape in at least two places. As the other guys mocked and jeered at him, Steve stood up for Edward. He often spoke to him when he saw him in the halls, learning that he was a whiz at math and science and that he had a chance to attend the North Carolina School of Science and Math his junior year. When his acceptance letter came, Edward sought out Steve first to share the good news. While the rest of his crew of friends look on perplexed, Steve was busy giving Edward high fives along with a roar of approval. Here was a guy, one of whom most people thought very little, going off to do great things in his future. Chalk one up for the underdog.

And then there was the softball team at his church that Steve played for. A gifted hitter and fielder who was able to track down almost any ball in the outfield, Steve was a sure lock to play for the gold team, the adult church recreation team that almost always won the coveted county trophy each year. But Steve didn’t want to be just another good player on a team of good players. Instead, Steve chose to play on the youth coed softball team, positioning himself in center field and allowing his female teammate in right field first chance at catching fly balls that came her way. There was no doubt that he could have shagged every fly ball that came within fifty yards, but Steve was more satisfied offering encouragement to his teammates, giving them praise when they made a good play and backing them up when they dropped the ball. Although they didn’t come close to finishing in first place, the coed team was able to win a few games and he saw the flame of confidence burning brighter in several of his teammates. Once again, chalk one up for the underdog.

Where did Steve’s passion for seeing the little guy do big things come from? Perhaps this view was first formed in him from his first days of Sunday School, where he learned about a man named Jesus who gravitated towards those who were less fortunate or whom the world seemed to care little about. Jesus was a man who could have commanded the best seats at any of the most prestigious banquets, yet He preferred to invest Himself and His time in those who had very little if anything to offer to Him.

“Hey Jesus, want to join us on the A-list for this weekend’s big party?”

“Nah, I’m okay. There’s this widow that I want to visit and then there is this guy who used to be a tax collector who wants me to come to dinner with him and some of his other ex-tax collector buddies. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

Time and again, Steve heard stories from the pages of the Bible of how Jesus would go to the “least of these” and do whatever He could to not only meet their needs, but also to show them how much worth they had in God’s eyes. These stories fascinated and motivated Steve, causing him to see others in a new light. Suddenly the “dorky” kid at school who nobody wanted to eat lunch with didn’t seem so dorky to him when they were eating a sandwich together. And the girl who always sat in the corner by herself during recess? Steve began to invite her to play four square with the rest of the kids, in the process finding out that she was really good at playing the piano and singing. How cool!

One phrase spoken by Jesus seemed to stick with Steve more than any other. In the New Testament in Matthew 9:12, Jesus was confronted by a group of religious critics who couldn’t understand why He spent to much time hanging around “sinful”people who obviously didn’t have their acts together. His response to them was amazing to Steve: “Those who are well don’t need a doctor, but the sick do. For I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” In other words, Jesus came for the underdog, not for those who believed they had it all figured it out.

It was words such as these that led not only to Steve’s own personal faith in Jesus but also to a life of serving all the underdogs that God might put in his path. This is why he chose to volunteer with students in the youth group at his church. Steve’s love of the underdog also prompted him to get more involved in his community, giving his time to his elderly neighbors when they faced challenging household projects as well as serving as a mentor and a tutor to several underprivileged kids at the local elementary school.

Today, everywhere that Steve goes, he looks for those whom the world has stopped having faith in or has simply forgotten altogether. And while this shift didn’t happen overnight, it has taken Steve down a path that has led to more joy and real friendships than he could have ever imagined. This is also why Steve chooses a plate in the middle of the stack instead of the one on top, because he believes that every underdog deserves a champion.

The Jesus dilemma

“All the tax collectors and sinners were approaching to listen to Jesus.
And the Pharisees and scribes were complaining, ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them!’” (Luke 15:1-2)

In those two brief verses, the entire ministry of Jesus can be summed up as well as the legacy of the church that has been tasked to follow after Him. While He was on earth, Jesus loved those who were far from God while the religious leaders of His day hated Him for it. Unfortunately, that pattern still holds true today.

Years ago, someone coined the phrase “What Would Jesus Do?” (WWJD) and from that spawned countless bracelets, t-shirts, and Wednesday messages from youth pastors. The idea was that if it was good enough for Jesus, then it should be good enough for us, too. And what exactly was good enough for Jesus? Luke 15:1 gives us the answer – He loved those who were far from God.

Today’s Christians – myself included – have too often chosen to take this idea of loving those who are far from God by sending the love of Jesus to far away places in the form of missions and charitable giving. This isn’t a bad idea because, after all, those places have lots of people who are far from God and if we take Jesus to them then maybe they will love Him too, right? Besides, we are going to give them and their kids lots of cool trinkets and hard-hitting gospel messages that will warn them of God’s wrath to come. And then, of course, we will pack up our stuff, drive or fly back home, and have an emotional Sunday service where participants wearing matching t-shirts share testimonies and slides illustrating just how much God did through them when they went to these faraway places to share His love to those who desperately needed it. Can I get an amen?!?

Before you send me hate mail for being so incredibly cynical about the short-term mission trips you have participated in, hear me out. The above illustration is only one example of the dilemma that Christians find themselves in when it comes to loving people like Jesus loved people. I don’t know that I have ever been around a group of believers who did NOT want to see people far from God come into a saving relationship through Jesus Christ. I have never heard a fellow Christian pray, “Lord, DON’T save this person and DON’T let them know the love of Jesus.” To say those things would be absolutely ridiculous, right?

Yet...

How easy it is for fellow Christians to act and sound more like the angry old man who demands that those punk kids stay off his lawn:

• “We can’t put more in the church budget for missions or charitable giving – we need to get this building paid off!”
• “I can’t believe that anyone would support an organization like Planned Parenthood! Those people have no value for human life! And while I’m at it, I hope they catch that immigrant who shot that woman. He should hang for his crime – he doesn’t deserve to live!”
•  “Let’s plan another fall festival for October. Maybe all those people from the neighborhood down the road will come this year so that we can finally reach out to them.”
• “I don’t think I have enough to time to volunteer at the homeless shelter. There is this new Bible study on Tuesday nights that I am in – it’s about loving your neighbor. And then I have choir rehearsal for Sunday morning and don’t forget Sunday night Bible study at the Martin’s house. Oh, and Wednesday we will be at the church leading the children in how to write letters of encouragement to missionaries overseas. Maybe I will have more time later to help out.”
• “Did you hear what that other church down the road is doing? They have members that are opening their home to immigrants who are being relocated to our town. How dangerous does that sound! I would never take the chance of putting my family at risk to help those people – Lord only knows what kind of criminal things they want to do in our country.”

If you have heard or experienced these same kinds of statements, then you can understand how we may be in far more danger of sounding and looking like the religious leaders in Luke 15:2 – complaining about others who are striving to live and love like Jesus did – than we are of actually living and loving like Jesus did.

It is not easy to be a follower of Jesus in the 21st Century. Jesus Himself even said that following Him would be difficult. But it is much more difficult to truly follow Him and love those who are far from God when we as His church have created so many boundaries and safe zones for ourselves that we never actually have to be in close contact with those people in the first place. When the life that Jesus lived every single day looks more like an isolated mission project to His followers, then we have indeed found ourselves in a most precarious dilemma.

Give me those old time relationships

When I was a kid the world around me was unique and often intimidating. The mall where my parent's shopped was this huge complex of endless stores and easy places for kids like me to get lost. Fast food restaurants were exotic stops reserved for special occasions where I could peek over the counter as the workers whipped up a milkshake for me while steaming hot fries awaited me beside a fresh made burger. Even my backyard appeared as big as a football field on which I could wear my little self out everyday running and playing with my brothers and my friends.

As easy as it is to romanticize about the "good old days," it's also easy to realize that those places and events weren't so exquisite as I once believed. I can now walk from one end of the mall to the other in a matter of minutes and there are virtually no stores in which I would choose to venture, much less get lost in. Those milkshakes, fries, and burgers are certainly not a treat anymore and the older I get the more I realize that meals from those places did not constitute special occasions; rather, they were convenience stops when life got too busy or mom had not gone grocery shopping yet. That old backyard is still pretty awesome, but it's really more the size of a tennis court than an NFL stadium.

Perspective is everything when it comes to assessing the experiences from our youth. I still choose to romanticize those early days of my existence because those times were so essential to my formation as a young man. Even when those good old days turn out to be not as sacred as I remember, I still find benefit from clinging to a version of the past that causes me to pause and smile, pondering simpler times and experiences that appeared bigger than life. No harm in that, right?

Don't you wish all of life's experiences were that way? Unfortunately, reality has a way of smacking you in the face as you approach adulthood and you realize at some point that living in the past isn't going to get you all that far. This doesn't mean that you have to grow up as a cynic - life is still pretty sweet and the new experiences that you face everyday can be just as good as the ones in your past, ones that you will probably romanticize about ten or twenty years down the road.

Some of my fondest memories are of sitting beside my grandfather on hard wooden pews in a small Baptist church as he gently nudged me to stop fidgeting during the sermon and then listening to his deep baritone voice as he belted out the chorus to I Surrender at the altar call. I don't remember all that much about the content of what I heard or the organizational structure of that little church, but I do remember the people there and how special they made my experiences in Sunday School and at church fellowships. It was those humble beginnings that fueled the fire within me to serve the Lord full-time in vocational Christian ministry.

As good as those times were, I knew that they could not last. Today, that little church is a shell of what it used to be. Most of those congregants from my early days there have either moved on or gone home to the Lord, while the church never was able to move on beyond those simpler times in the 1970's. Those traditional ways were eventually eclipsed by the inevitable shift in our culture with people today preferring a more modern approach to their Sunday experience. Debates have been raging for decades over whether the traditional style church has its place anymore or whether the contemporary structure is what we should all embrace.

Yet if we take a really close look at what is going on in the churches around us, we will see that it's not really about stye or structural changes that are getting people all worked up. Instead, it is the radical change in relationships that so many are experiencing as life gets more complicated and families have less and less time.

Today, people are hungry for real "I-get-you-and-you-get-me" relationships - but they always have been. That's what held that little Baptist church together for all those years, the men and women who "did life together" and invested so much time in each other. Having the pastor preach a sermon that was rooted in the truth of God's word was and still is essential, but even when he had an "off day" those members still had their community rooted in faith to stand upon.

Those memories of people who loved and invested in me are the ones that I cherish the most but they also remain my deepest desires. I honestly no longer have all that much of a preference of style when it comes to church because I believe that when the men and women of God are seeking His face above all else and intentionally engaging in meaningful relationships with one another, all of that pans out in the end. I'm not so sure that we need to "rethink church" or craft newer expressions of worship. Maybe it's as simple as reevaluating the relationships that we have with each other regardless of the size of our gathering. When Christ is central and we are seeking to meet the needs of each other, I will romanticize about that all day.

Life in the new hood

This past Saturday night my new neighborhood - Wrightsville Green, aka The Hood - celebrated its annual 4th of July gathering. Before we even moved in, several of our neighbors were quick to tell us how fun and amazing this night was. Our home owner's association sent us emails reminding us of the festivities and we were asked to sign up to bring food at the community mailbox.

Seeing this as an opportune chance to get to know pretty much everyone in all 50+ homes, we agreed to bring cantaloupe (because you can't have a party without melon) and a cucumber/tomato/onion salad (because if they didn't eat it, I would). The days leading up to the shindig were filled with stories of past 4th of July celebrations and how this year's was going to be the best ever.

Finally the big day had arrived. The party officially started at 4:00 but we planned to be fashionably late because it's really awkward when you don't really know many people and you are the first ones to show up. Our posse left the house at 4:30 to make the short walk down to what is known as the common area, which is composed of the back yards of several houses that share Bradley Creek as their border. This creek is a meandering salt water marsh creek that eventually feeds into the Atlantic Ocean and it is an ideal spot for launching a small boat, kayak, or stand-up paddle board, which I haven't done yet but plan on doing soon.

As we rounded the bend of one of the houses, I was immediately struck by the decadent smell of smoked pork. Jamie, whose house lies in the common area and is also the pit master, lifted the lid to a rather large smoker to show me a behemoth of a pig that was almost cooked to perfection - all 140 pounds of it. He let me know that he also had a secret sauce that was willed to him by man whose barbecue sauce was locally famous but who would not give up the recipe until after he had crossed the threshold of heaven. I ain't gonna lie - that was some good sauce! Another neighbor, Steve, was also there and very attentive to the needs of this simmering sow.

It wasn't long before the rest of the neighborhood began to roll in (we weren't as fashionably late as I had hoped) and that's when the party really started hopping. Kids were absolutely everywhere! And the food just kept coming - chips and dips, rice and beans, chicken wings and some green rolled up things, as well as cookies and brownies and lemon squares, which I'm pretty sure Jesus Himself enjoys as a late night snack. When the pig was done and the men had begun to chop her into a million little pieces, the feast officially began.

Our two oldest daughters, who didn't know a soul, played it pretty close to the vest at the beginning, preferring to hang near mom and dad. Not so with our two youngest ones. You would have thought that they shared crib space with all of the neighborhood kids! Meeting new people has never really been a harrowing experience for my wife and I either, and we quickly found ourselves engrossed in conversations with people whom just a few moments before had been perfect strangers.

My wife met another neighbor who is also a professor at UNCW, teaching in the area of creative writing. I may or may not have told her to read my blog to see what she thought. There was sophomore at UNCW who will be living in his parent's newly purchased home (they live in another city) during the school year and who is interested in some of the same areas of ministries in which I have served. Chris is a guy from England who I kept having a conversation with because I enjoy discussing English soccer but mainly because I loved to hear his accent. There were also surfers, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home moms, an MMA trainer, photographer, a couple who helps rescue girls from the sex trade, and many, many others.

The evening culminated in the grand finale for the 'hoods annual celebration - a fireworks display that was not only illegal but incredibly dangerous. The aforementioned Jamie and Steve were also a few of the pyrotechnic experts who had assembled an obscene amount of gun powder fueled entertainment, much of which I am pretty sure would get you locked up in Mexico.

Positioning ourselves a "safe" thirty-some yards away from ground zero, several of us oohed-and-aahed at the amazing display of glittered colors in the sky as the more responsible adults assembled the kids a safer distance away. Even more entertaining than the fireworks were the antics of several grown men as they lighted wicks and danced out of the way before certain disaster happened.

As the evening was about to come to a close, a near catastrophe of cataclysmic proportions happened. A mortar tipped, sending its wayward cargo shooting in all directions, including straight at me and my youngest daughter who decided to join me closer to the action. Instinctively I stuck out my sandaled foot as a shield to block the fiery missile, hoping for a split second act of heroism to save the day. Thankfully, it fizzled out right as it was about to make contact, saving both my lower leg and my Rainbow flip flops. Several of my neighbors reacted with horror at the fact that they had almost killed the new guy, but we were able to nervously laugh it off once we saw that no damage was done.

Indeed, this was a memorable night in our new neighborhood, one that we won't soon forget. We are grateful for the new friendships that were made and can't wait to grow and foster them more in the future. Lying in bed later that night, my wife and I were recounting our day when we both realized that something really cool was occurring in this neighborhood of people that we had just met: They were doing an amazing job of living in community with one another.

Community is what so many of today's churches are seeking after yet are failing to achieve. Relationships are built on more than just shared belief; they thrive on a shared connection, one that is rooted in a genuine interest in not only the well-being of others around you but in also sharing life with them - the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all.

I think we're gonna like it here.

What's wrong with ch_rch today? Could it be u?

There has been a lot of discussion over the past few years about why younger people are not returning once they graduate high school and why younger adults are checking out of church as well. A whole host of reasons have been given to explain this phenomenon: A lack of relevancy in today's church, this younger generation expressing a much greater need for community than church can offer to them, and a shift in theological perspectives.

It is likely that all of these reasons, and many more like them, are partially responsible for the church exodus from many in the younger generation. What is not apparent is whether there is one dominant reason that people just aren't all that crazy about church today. Let me be up front - I don't have a clue as to what that primary reason could be, or even if there is one. All I know if what I hear from those who find themselves less than enthused about going to church today.

Recently I had a conversation with a man who had not been to church in seventeen years. Growing up as the son of a pastor, he told me that there weren't many days that he was not "forced" to be at the church, including Friday nights when all his friends were out having a good time. Throughout his childhood he had expectations heaped on him that he felt were unrealistic and he faced what he considered unfair judgment from those he considered to be hypocritical in their treatment of him. Now a thirty-five year old father of two children, this man was still bitter about his experiences, yet he had never lost his faith in God.

What do you say to someone like that? Do you invite him to come to your church because your church isn't like that? Or maybe you secretly roll your eyes, assuming that the problem is him and not the church in which he grew up. Regardless of how you view this situation, what so many in the church today don't do is take a close look at themselves and ask, "Could I be part of the problem?"

I realize that we live in a postmodern culture where so many want to rewrite the laws of truth, and that at no time should the church ever compromise its stand on the authority of Scripture. Yet I also believe that today's church is still entrenched in a methodology that is more polarized than it is engaging.

As one who grew up in a church culture that was more formal in nature, I have a healthy respect for the traditional church. But what about those who have felt abandoned by the church? Or those who like the idea of Jesus but are completely baffled by the perceived requirements of being part of a church today? Do we just assume that they need to get over it and jump on board or are we willing to take a closer look at how we receive them when they come through our doors?

Maybe the problem isn't that people are disinterested and unwilling to accept truth. Maybe the problem is that we've unknowingly manipulated people to fit into our mold of what we believe should be acceptable for church. I believe more than ever that today's culture is screaming for relationships that are real and attainable. While church can and should provide some of most meaningful relationships possible, none of these men and women will know the joy of these kind of relationships unless we love them where they are and not where we want them to be.

That spare tire isn't such a bad thing

When I was a kid growing up, I used to hear adults complain all the time about how hard it was to keep their bodies in shape as they aged. Everyone once in awhile, one of them would look at me and my friends and say something like, "You kids have it made. While you keep growing up, all I seem to be able to do is grow out. It looks like I've got a spare tire around my waist!"  As cheesy as this statement is, it holds a lot of truth for today's churches.

Ask any pastor or church leader if expanding the kingdom of God is priority, and he or she will unequivocally say, "Yes!" Ask those same leaders what strategy they have in place to make that happen, and the answers you get probably won't be so emphatic or unified. How do we expand the kingdom of God while we are here on earth?

I realize that this is a theologically loaded question, so let me narrow the scope a bit. What can churches do today that will effectively increase their impact and influence for Jesus? Having heard variations of that question asked over the years, I have heard lots of conflicting answers:

• We need to build another building. That's one sure way to grow.
• More programs are what we need. People will flock to our church if we can offer them more.
• We can go to two or three or four services to accommodate all the people we want to reach.

While none of these suggestions is inherently bad, they do miss the point. If all we do is add to what we already have, then the only direction we are going to grow is upward, not outward. In other words, we will limit our reach to those who need to hear the gospel in favor of strengthening our base so that they have to come to us. I'm pretty sure that's not how Jesus intended it to be. Churches need to be more like the old guy who keeps having to buy size larger pants - continuing to grow outward.

Kings of old did not expand their territory simply by building bigger castles. They went out to conquer and acquire land. When Jesus gave His disciples - and us - the Great Commission charge in Matthew 28:19-20, His words were ones of expectation. "Go therefore" is better translated "as you are going," spoken with the assumption that we advance the kingdom not by building upward but rather by focusing outward.

If you want to be part of advancing the kingdom of God, make sure you spend less time building castles and more time beginning new villages and communities.

Fix it before it breaks you

Beaver Bottom Church had a problem. Actually, they had lots of problems but this one stood out more than any of the others. It seems that the new pastor, Rev. Donald Doorite, was wanting to nix the canine evangelism program that had been run out of their fellowship hall for the past 17 years.

The distinguished Mr. Harold Winston Higgenbotham, lifelong member and self-proclaimed top tither at Beaver Bottom Church, started and initially funded the canine evangelism program after his daughter came home from a Disney movie convinced that dogs could - and should - go to heaven. Because Mr. Higgenbotham was such a faithful giver and dominant voice in the church, no one really opposed the idea. Besides, maybe dogs do go to heaven, they reasoned.

Now almost two decades later, Mr. Higgenbotham and his immediate family was long gone, having left Beaver Bottom Church in a huff after a disagreement over the color of the new carpet in the sanctuary. Yet the canine evangelism program was still funded in the church budget even though not one pooch had yet to be baptized on a Sunday morning. Something had to give.

When Rev. Doorite looked over the church budget items in his first few weeks on the job, the canine evangelism line item immediately caught his eye. "What in the name of potluck dinners is this?" he half whispered, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing on the spreadsheet before him. His ire was further stoked when he realized that more money went to saving the souls of dogs than it did to seeing that men and women in the community had a chance to hear the gospel. Something had to change!

At the next deacon's meeting, Rev. Doorite waited until the regular church business was discussed before broaching the subject of the canine evangelism program. He began by expressing how much he enjoyed the companionship of his own rescued golden retriever, Goldie Locks, and that the humane treatment of animals was very important to him. "However," said Rev. Doorite, "I do not see how we can continue to fund and staff a ministry with volunteers that simply doesn't work. We are in the business of human souls, not doggie goals."

To the Reverend's surprise, the backlash he received at the suggestion of redirecting all the canine cash was immediate. "We can't cut that program!" hollered Edgar Needlemeyer. "The dogs really like it and we've had at least one family join the church as the result of the program." Marion Twopence chimed in, "We can't end that program! Sure, puppy proselytizing may not be popular in most churches, but what would Mrs. Mary Swanson do without it? She's been volunteering every week since it began. What will SHE do now?"

On and on came the dissent and angry protests. Rev. Doorite could almost feel the mutiny in the room and he knew he had to act quickly before he lost what little control he had. "Gentlemen, please! Let's table this matter for next month's meeting when we can come back together for what I hope will be perhaps a more helpful - and less contentious - discussion. In the meantime, I urge each of you to look over the church budget and see how these doggie dollars can be better served in other ministry areas." While this suggestion calmed the crowd for the moment, the grunts, glares, and mumbles of the deacons as they left the room let Rev. Doorite know that he had more than his work cut out for him.

Okay, so this story didn't really happen. And if your church does have a canine evangelism program in place then, well, I simply have no words. But I think you get my over-exaggerated point. Whether it is in a ministry setting such as today's churches or the business world, there will always be those programs that have either run their course or no longer effectively meet the needs or vision of your organization. When that happens, it takes forethought and courage to realize that it's time to shut it down.

"But we've always done it this way!" "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" "But we can't cancel this program because, well, we just can't!" All of these protests and more will be heard when ministers and other leaders see the value in redirecting the resources that unneeded programs can drain from an organization. When that happens, it can be very difficult to resist the naysayers in favor of maintaining the status quo, but resist you must.

Let me share with you what takes real courage for leaders to say when faced with a deficient pet-program that many in the organization still hold onto with a desperate grasp - "We tried, but it didn't work, so let's move on to something that will work." It is this mentality that is missing in so many churches and business organizations, yet it can be the most freeing and innovating concept that they can grasp.

Vision was never intended to be static. It is meant to grow and flourish as we nourish it with our passion for seeing others benefit from our efforts. If you are in the business world and you refuse to adapt and retool your vision to match the industry, your doors won't stay open much longer. In a ministry context, if our programs are not intentionally either pointing people to faith in Jesus or growing men and women to be more faithful followers of Jesus, then it's time to pull the plug on them, even if they are still popular and draw interest among our people.

Failure isn't the worst thing that can happen to your business or ministry. Being unwilling to admit it just might be. And that's the doggone truth.

Living the other six

Growing up in a Christian home, church on Sundays was not just something that we did. It was something that served to define who we were. I have fond memories of attending Sunday school classes where I learned about Moses crossing the Red Sea, Daniel and the lion's den, and Jesus healing sick people all from the magic of the flannel graph board. The pain of sitting beside my grandfather on those impossibly hard wooden pews was dulled by hearing his rich baritone voice singing those beautiful old hymns. Those were simple, good times, but they served to give me a spiritual foundation that I have never forgotten.

As I grew older and eventually left home, going to church shifted from something I had to do as a child under my parents' authority to something I could choose to do. As a young man who was entering the ministry, continuing to attend church was a no-brainer for me - why would I NOT want to go? Yet at the same time, I began to notice traits within me bubbling to the surface that up until that point I had never really noticed before, particularly the slick ways that I could play the part of good church-going young man on Sundays while living a less-than-holy way during the week. Instead of simply going to church, I had begun "showing" for church.

If you are a follower of Jesus or grew up going to church, this is not a foreign concept to you. We've all heard preachers exhort us to live out our faith on Monday through Saturday, "Because Sunday is coming!" And the term "Sunday Christian" needs no real explanation. Yes, it's easy to live righteously when all eyes are on you - especially the preacher's eyes who see you sitting on the back row!

I am pretty sure that for the early Christians, this idea of struggling to live out their faith in Jesus on the other six days of the week made no sense to them. After all, their lives were in danger every day because of their faith and choosing to follow Jesus was an all-or-none proposition for them. Yet even then not everyone got it.

In Jesus' day, many of the Jewish religious leaders were not too thrilled about His ministry and His claims to be the Son of God. These were the guys on the fringe whose devotion to religious ritual had effectively numbed them to the reality of true faith. So when they saw all that Jesus was doing in the communities around them - healing the sick, bringing hope to the hopeless, and bringing truth to the lost - it drove them nuts.

One guy in particular, a leader in a local synagogue, became the poster child for the religious idiocy. We find his story in Luke 13:10-17 and it goes something like this: Jesus heals a woman on the Sabbath, a day on which the Jewish people believed that no work should be done (the definition of "work" was rather dicey at times). Enter the synagogue leader. He can't believe what he is seeing. No, he's not overwhelmed at the amazing miracle from Jesus that he has just witnessed. Instead, he's ticked off that Jesus chooses the Sabbath of all days to do the work of God. Boiling over with anger, this synagogue leader asks, "Can't you do your amazing works on one of the other six days of the week instead of the Sabbath?" Now I don't know about you, but if I was face-to-face with Jesus I'm pretty sure I could find a better question to ask of Him!

Unbeknownst to him, our synagogue leader friend has flipped the script and turned the tables on US by asking Jesus this ridiculous question. Put in another context for our enjoyment, he might be asking all of us, "I see your devotion on your days of worship. But what are YOU doing the other six days of the week that are pointing others to Jesus and creating a stir in your community?" It was obvious that Jesus taught amazing truths and performed incredible works everyday of the week. His disciples were known to follow suit. Can the same be said about us?

Sundays are a special time for Christians because it is the one day of the week where we can all intentionally gather for corporate worship and celebration of Jesus. We should never overlook these times of assembly and should come expectant to hear from God and give back to Him all of the worth that is due Him. But we should all realize that church on Sunday is not the time that we gather to impress God or each other with our personal notions of holiness and piety. Sunday gatherings (or whenever you gather as a body of Christ followers) are for God to be worshiped, not for us to ring the bell of our own self-proclaimed spiritual awesomeness.

The true call of the follower of Jesus is to live for him daily. It's nice to gather once a week with a bunch of people who think and believe as you do. Yet it's far more urgent that we live this faith in Jesus the other six days of the week so that the world around us can see just how great and worthy our Jesus truly is.

Better heroes than you will find on TV

My wife and I were sitting on the porch the other day sipping coffee together and reminiscing about how easy life was when we were little kids. We tend to do that from time to time when our schedules get out of whack and it feels as if the calendar is our nemesis rather than sheets of paper held by magnets to our refrigerator. Memories have the ability to allow you to escape like that.

On this particular morning we were talking about our grandparents on our mothers' sides, all of whom have already passed on from this world. I brought up the old show Hee Haw that I watched on so many Saturday evenings in my grandparents living room when my wife lit up and told me about the many times that she too had lounged in her pajamas in her grandmother's living room in Topeka, KS, and watched Roy Clark and Buck Owens lead a cheesy cast of comedic characters across the old tube television set with the wood grained sides. 

My wife never had the pleasure of knowing her grandfather as a child, but her Grandma Becky more than made up for that. She spent countless days with her grandmother as a girl while her mom was at work, helping out at the Mason Lodge and running errands across town for one event of the other. She sighed gently and smiled as she recalled those many hours listening to Grandma Becky's stories and tall tales.

For years Grandma Becky published a family newsletter entitled The Kansas Korn where she would voice her odd mix of conservative and liberal views for the benefit of her family and closest friends. While the rest of the family would silently groan when they saw the thick envelope in the mailbox, my wife would readily pull open the sticker tab and read every word that Grandma Becky put on those pages. Most of what she wrote would be considered political satire, but that woman had a way with words and she wasn't afraid to share them with the world. When age began to overtake her and she passed on several years ago, more than just a comical newsletter was taken out of circulation. My wife lost one her best, and at times only, childhood friends. 

My grandfather on my mother's side was affectionately known as Pop and his wife, my grandmother, we simply called Grandmother. Pop was the only grandfather I ever knew since my dad's dad had passed away before I was even a thought in his mind. He was a WWII veteran who worked for the USPS after the war before opening up a mom-and-pop store with Grandmother called Food Land. Pop was a large man but even if he had been skinny as a pole he would have still been larger than life to me. He was funny and witty in an archaic kind of cool way. Pop never talked about the war - I only learned about the B25 bomber he had flown on in the Pacific theater and saw the amazing pictures of Papua New Guinea after he died in 1990 - but he was quick to share with me stories about everything else in life. 

On Sunday mornings at Antioch Baptist Church I would love to slide in next to Pop on that hard wooden pew because he had a way of entertaining me during the sermon so that I wouldn't fidget my way into too much trouble while at the same time maintaining a laser focus on the pastor as he preached. More than anything I loved to hear Pop sing. I can still hear his deep baritone chime in on the secondary chorus of I Surrender All, a staple invitation song at sermon's end. 

There were many Sunday's when we would take the short drive down Palmer Lane to Grandmother and Pop's house where Grandmother would have a literal feast prepared. You would have thought she had invited the entire neighborhood! Cube steak and gravy, fried chicken, collard greens, corn, green beans, biscuits, banana pudding, and sweet tea were just a few of the options that we would gorge ourselves with before collapsing on the couch to snooze between innings of an Atlanta Braves baseball game. Breakfast at Grandmother's was even better - country ham with red eye gravy, thick sliced Neese's country sausage, grits, chipped beef with gravy, biscuits, and sweet stewed apples - but that's another story for another time. 

Eventually time and age took us to different places in our lives. My wife left Kansas at age 19 and I met her in Clemmons, NC, a year later. We fell in love - and are still falling to this day - got married, had four amazing children, switched careers about half a dozen times, and finally settled on the coast of North Carolina, which I am convinced is a little slice of heaven. We have been unable to figure out how to get our kids to stop growing, so as a result we spend much of our time trying to stay caught up with their lives and activities. My parents and my wife's parents are now our kids' grandparents, and we diligently try to keep them connected from four hours away. FaceTime and texting seems to have taken the place of Saturday evenings in front of the TV watching bluegrass inspired family comedy. 

Yet not a day goes by that we aren't grateful for grandparents who in a big way served as larger than life heroes. By the time high school and college rolled around, we didn't think that an evening in their house watching TV with only three channels was such a fun idea, but as an adult there is no doubt that those were some of the best and most meaningful times in our lives. Which is why when we go home to visit, we sometimes hide in the background as our kids lounge on couches with their grandparents watching Discovery Channel shows or root around in their kitchens looking for a snack that they can help bake or help pick weeds around the flower beds out in the yard. With all of the negative options that my children have in this world, I am so grateful for grandparents who can serve as heroes just as our grandparents did for us.  

One size does NOT fit all

I took my middle and high school students to camp this past week and we had a great time with all the stuff camp brings - lack of sleep, filthy living conditions, every middle schooler wanting to challenge my manhood, stuff like that. But it was so good to have our students together for a week away from most distractions (we let them have their phones one hour every night, the rest of the time they are in the "Box of Woe") and to focus them more on Jesus and what He wants for their lives.

Now when you gather over 1,000 students in one place from churches all over the map, you know you are going to get a mixed bag of personalities and backgrounds in that place. Where I live, church is usually an afterthought, so many of my students don't have a church background and really don't understand church culture, which is perfectly fine with me. It's refreshing to have a clean slate with so many of them when it comes to questions of faith and how to live it out.

I don't usually throw the "I've been working with students for over 20 years" card, but the truth is I feel pretty connected to youth culture and what they do and don't relate to. I am certainly no expert, but I've had my share of hits and misses over the years. So to me, it is so interesting that churches and denominations and organizations are so quick to adopt a one-size-fits-all approach to not just student ministry, but to reaching people for Jesus in general. This week has definitely been a super fun week with lots of spiritual meat to chew on, but it's also been one of those weeks where I have looked around and realized just how limiting some approaches to ministry can be.

You see, I don't know what the dynamics are of the other youth groups that we shared the week with, but I do not that most of my students fall into the category of unchurched and dysfunctional family. There have been moments where they totally get it followed by that glassy eyed look that totally says, "You just lost me." And that's okay, because students aren't going to get it all the time. This is why I am so thankful that we can have these big weekly events together that don't have to define or limit how we are going to reach students. 

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years of working with students, it's that not one student is the same. Not one. The way that I approach students when I served in a rural county is different than when I served in a more metropolitan area which is also different than the approach I take now, serving in a coastal county that is over 80% unchurched. That's because one size does not fit all.

The only way that we are going to reach students - and all people for that matter - is if we seek to understand where they are in life now, not where we want them to be in order to fit into our template. And this is so difficult because I know that I learned a certain model of ministry when I was serving as a church intern and in seminary, a model that simply doesn't fit the context in which God has placed me now. 

So what do we do? We pray, we look, we listen, and we ask questions. And once we see students as real and diverse people with unique needs and backgrounds and not just a glove that we can force on a hand, we will continue to see so many of them walk away from Jesus. That's because one size does not fit all.

Throw-away kids

"Steven" had another bad day. That's what the school administrator told me as I sat in a comfy chair across from her desk. This young man, barely halfway through his elementary education, would be spending the next couple of days at home. Again. And no, she didn't break confidentiality by telling me his name - I actually guessed.

I was there to discuss with her ideas about using high school students after school to tutor and mentor elementary students and, before I rose to leave, I told her that if there was an immediate need that I could help with, please let me know. That was when she mentioned a student - whom I guessed to be "Steven" - who was really struggling and was facing yet another suspension from school. She called him a "throw away" kid, not because she didn't see his value (she did and she showed him much love), but rather because the rest of the world around him didn't seem to recognize it. 

Hearing this story literally broke my heart. Since I knew who he was, I asked if I could speak to the young man briefly before I left, and she called him out of class to come down to the office. I pulled "Steven" aside and told him how much worth and value his life had and that, if he even needed another advocate in his life, to please call me. I then gave him a big hug because the tears in my eyes were preventing me from saying anything else. As I watched him walk back down the hall to his class I felt a burning rising up within my soul. This young man was not a throw-away kid. He is an incredible creation of God who had yet to discover just how great he could be.

Look around you. There are these so-called throw-away kids everywhere. And the reasons for this are many. Some come from families that either cannot or will not support them, and that is tragic. Others have no role model in their lives and so they have no idea how to grow up to be a responsible man or woman. Tragically, many of these young people will continue to struggle until they either drop out of school or find themselves frequent fliers within our penal system.

If you are reading this, then you are probably envisioning a throw-away kid that you know about. Maybe you've looked upon that child with pity and tried to help or perhaps you shake your head in disgust and wonder where his or her parents are. Regardless of what your perspective is, the bigger question is, "What are you going to do about it?"

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV) tells us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Some see this verse as a guarantee that if you raise your kids right, then they will turn out right. I wish that was always true! What this verse is actually telling us is that if you instill the love of God and a heart for Jesus in a child, whether or not he/she grows up to follow after Him, the truths that you have seeded into their lives will never go away. They may be able to run from God's truth but they can never hide from it.

When I think about kids like "Steven" and others like him, I am compelled to do more. I want to be a part of the solution in his life, not one who condemns him for his problems. I hope you feel the same way. Now more than ever young people need mentors to pull alongside of them and show them the better path for them to take. It can be as simple as volunteering to help children with homework after school or as deep as becoming a foster parent. But regardless of what you choose, please know this - you have what it takes to be an advocate for these young people what will allow them to shed the throw-away label once and for all.

Love-Fueled Propulsion

Lately I've been reading a book entitled Toxic Charity: How Churches and Charities Hurt Those Who Help and How to Reverse it. While this book certainly isn't new on the scene, it is for me, and it comes a pretty pivotal point in my life and my way of thinking. Giving to the poor, helping those in need, offering emergency assistance - all of these things are essential and have been amply demonstrated to us by the example of Jesus Himself. Yet all to often churches and other religious groups have turned missions into nothing more than "religious tourism", pouring money into communities where there is no real outlet for sustainable change. In fact, if we were truly honest with ourselves, we often see missions as more for us than it is for those we are going to help.

All of that aside, the message of missions got me to thinking about what the world truly needs to see and hear from those who are followers of Jesus. There are several options vying for that top category:

• Hard nosed theological teaching, making sure that the rest of the world knows that we are right and they are wrong
• Stripped down services and sermons that welcome everyone into the fold with a "don't ask, don't tell" agenda that seeks to offend no one
• Easily accessible ministries and services that allow the needy to come to us so that we can give you God-inspired hand outs
• Flashy and catchy events that will bring in the big numbers so that we can show the rest of the Christian world what God is doing through our church and ministry
• Or, we could do what Jesus did and love people

If you can't tell, I'm pretty partial to that last one. Yeah, I know, guys who write religious books and blogs about love often forget that love paid a price on the cross for real sin, and in doing so they ignore or even deny the reality of an eternal separation from God. So this isn't me telling you to just love everybody and the world will be a better place. I mean, the world would be a better place if we all could just get along, but for the sake of the discussion at hand, the love that I am talking about is the kind that propels us, not obligates us.

You see, if you are a follower of Jesus then you already know that throughout the New Testament He commanded you to love others, both your neighbor and your enemy. What happens to so many is that, when they see this command from Jesus, they go into obligation mode as if loving others is something that they have to do in order to prove to Jesus that they really have been saved by His grace. Surely there is nothing sweeter than being given a cup of cold water by someone claiming to be a Christian who wouldn't be caught dead being seen with you beyond the facade of ministry that they are hiding behind.

Love, the kind that binds our hearts to Jesus and overwhelms us with its beauty and audacity, is not a love that makes us feel obligated. No, it's a love that compels us. I mean, how in the world can we not love others as Christ loves us when we grasp even just an inkling of how outrageous that love is?

This means that we are propelled by love in all that we do. We are excited about helping the poor and take delight in pulling alongside those who are desperate in need. It means that we are stoked about reaching out to the lost and broken, joining them in their journey to find hope and peace in Jesus. Being propelled by love means that we GET to love others, not that we have to. 

Stop Speaking in Code

The other weekend my wife and I enjoyed some much needed beach time with our toes in the sand watching the waves crash onto the shore. As we lazily sat in our chairs soaking up the sun and breathing in the salty air, we noticed a girl approaching that we recognized, which is not all that uncommon since we do live beside the beach. She stopped to say hello and we casually asked her how things were going with her. To our surprise, she told us. Everything. I mean, she let us know where she had been so far this summer, who she hung out with, how her parents were doing, etc.

She didn't give the typical answers, "Things are good...I'm fine...been busy..." No, she actually answered the question that we asked her. Which was surprising, because normally when we ask people how they are doing we don't really find out how they are doing because they typically don't tell us how they are doing, because that's not really what we want to hear, right? Instead, we expect some stock answer that is more of like a return wave of the hand when someone waves at you. Yet hearing this young woman tell us exactly how she was doing was so refreshing and real and awesome. Be careful what you ask!

That begs the question: Why do we always seem to speak in "code" to each other? You know what I mean, right? Those answers we give that really aren't indicative of how things truly are but rather are shortcuts for us not wanting to take the time to give the honest answer. Oh I know, when someone asks you how things are going, they don't REALLY want to know, do they? Or do they?

What if we did away with these code words that we use and instead chose to be really honest with how we feel with each other. Yes, that would be awkward at times, yet it would also allow our defenses to come down and we could actually get to know people. And have real conversations. And maybe even make some new friends.

Here's what I propose - let's identify some of the code words that we use in our lives and seek to abolish them from our vocabulary. Here's a few to help you get started:

• Busy - When you say that we are busy, that really means that you don't want to take the time to tell someone else what is happening in your life, or maybe even there are so many unimportant things competing for your time that it would be pointless to even share them. Sometimes we say that we are "super busy", which is a nice way of saying that I really don't have time to tell you what's going on in my life. Either way, busy is a code word we use when we want to remain detached from others.

• Fine - I'll admit, this one drives me bonkers. Fine describes the grit on sandpaper or the tip of a ball point pen, not your emotional state. Fine is an excuse for not wanting to share what is really happening in your life, which in turn reveals that things in your life aren't all that great. When I hear fine, I automatically want to know what's wrong with someone, because fine is a few steps below good - which is also a code word, but is a little less meaningless that fine.

•  Relevant - This one is for all my church friends out there. Relevant is a word that we use to defend our assertion that we don't like the way our church is doing things, but it can also mean the opposite - that what we are doing is better than what other churches are doing. Either way, relevant is one of those hip words that fits into our cultural context that we aren't quite able to adequately define but will certainly know when it's not there. If something isn't relevant, then that means I don't have to commit to it.

Any of those hit home with you? I know I stand guilty. So let's agree on something together, okay? Let's do away with using these kinds of code words when we are communicating with real live people. What other code words have eased their way into your vocabulary?

It's okay to share who you are when others ask. If they don't want to know then believe me, they won't ask you a second time! And the next time you encounter someone and are about to ask one of those loaded questions, be prepared just in case they actually give you a heartfelt answer. 

Jesus was a Deadhead?

This weekend was a community — a real, true community — coming together in celebration of life. In celebration of music, of friendship, of happiness, of dance — of spirit, peace, and love. With a deep respect for all that came before, a profound acceptance for what’s happening now, and a shared optimism that everything will be okay.

When you read that above paragraph, did you think you were perhaps reading about a weekend worship retreat or an incredible youth camp experience from a spiritually moved teenager? If you did, then you are wrong. Dead wrong.

That paragraph is actually an excerpt of a blog post written by a Grateful Dead fan and it captures her experience at the Dead's farewell concert series in Chicago July 3-6. Let me go ahead and say that while I appreciate the Grateful Dead's music, I would hardly consider myself much of a fan, let alone a celebrated Deadhead. But reading the entire post by this fan got me thinking: How come Christians aren't this excited and captivated by their experience with Jesus?

After all, Jesus' teachings were filled with the themes of loving your neighbor, community, and peace. If you read the book of Acts you will find that the early Christian church was all about looking out for each other and loving their community. A close look at today's Christians and the churches we attend looks more like a heated county commissioner's meeting than it does the body of Christ.

I have lots of friends who don't go to church and have no desire to do so. Over the years as I've carried on conversations with them, only a few have actually expressed a problem with God or Jesus. Instead, their distaste for the Christian faith has everything to do with those people who claim to be followers of Christ but live contrary to His teachings. Makes me wonder how many believers actually take the teachings of Jesus in the Bible to heart or if they even know what Jesus taught.

I realize that it's dangerous to make blanket statements about people and the last thing I want anyone to think is that I'm Throwing Stones at my brothers and sisters. I'm also not saying that Jesus wore Birkenstock's and tie dye shirts. The Grateful Dead music scene hardly points one to salvation through faith in Christ. And while Dead fans do espouse an ethic of love, peace, being nice, and doing the right thing, I've yet to hear any Deadhead explain clearly to me the finer points of Sola scriptura, Sola fide, Sola gratia, Solus Christus, or Soli Deo gloria.

Yet in a weird, groovy kind of way the Grateful Dead and their fans sort of get it. And many Christians, myself included, often seem to be left in a Dark Hollow when it comes to the expression of true love and community that is supposed to under gird our faith in Jesus. Imagine the Ripple that Christians could leave in this world if what we said we believed about Jesus was actually evident in our daily lives.

Grace and truth are not either/or - they are both/and

What do you get when you put grace and truth in a blender? A big, beautiful mess!

A whole lot of Christians operate as if grace and truth are interchangeable concepts, kind of like jeans in the winter and shorts in the summer. You can wear shorts in the snow but you would freeze, just as you would sweat to death wearing jeans in July. There were moments where grace rules the day while at other times truth is all that matters. Mix them together? Like oil and water, that simply can't be sustained, at least not for long.

As a result of this view, many strive to keep grace and truth separate but equal in their way of thinking. When they need to stake their claim in truth, that is no problem. If you don't agree with what they believe to be true then there is really no room for discussion - you would simply have to live with being wrong and would get little to no sympathy from them. Yet there are also those moments where grace is needed to flood a dry and parched land. In those cases. they can be as empathetic and caring as the Mother Theresa without asking too many questions.

But what do we do when we are confronted by those who need equal doses of grace and truth right now? It is possible to mix the two together and still be consistent with Scripture? Won't we be embracing some sort of heretical compromise if we do so?

Not if we believe the truth of Jesus we won't.

I am embroiled in the midst of one of those grace and truth battles as I type. The student ministry that I lead operates with the intent that, in the midst of having a primary desire to disciple middle and high school students, we also want to be a place where un-churched students feel comfortable coming to. This doesn't mean that we water down the gospel or make a living telling cool stories, but rather I have an incredible team of leaders who engage students on an individual level and love them for who they are when they walk in the door.

Over the past few months there have been several high school students from the community who have been coming to our youth group on Wednesday nights. Having visiting students on a Wednesday night is not uncommon - it happens weekly - but what has been challenging is the culture that these newer students are bringing with them. These young people are utterly un-churched, never having been exposed to church life much less the gospel of Jesus. And they have no problem speaking and acting and carrying themselves as if the world is their master to whom they happily bow down to in worship.

Of course we are thrilled that they are coming at all. Each week we meet as a large group before breaking up into small groups, and the these newer students come and listen to all of the things that myself and the other youth leaders have to say. They were hearing about Jesus, grace, forgiveness, holiness, and a biblical worldview. As one who has worked with students for over two decades, this is a dream come true. I long to see the lost become found in Jesus. Nothing makes me more excited than a new creation in Christ.

Yet in spite of all of our efforts to love and reach out to this group of young people, we are seeing very little change on their part in return. They are not responding to the gospel or asking questions about God or seeking to modify any behaviors out of reverence and respect for God and others. These young men and women seemed perfectly content to just come and be who they were without any regard for the truth that is being proclaimed all around them. And to top it all off, some of them are becoming a little too free with their language and lack of respect for authority. Parents are beginning to call, worried that our Wednesday youth meetings are no longer a safe place for their students.

Having observed this first hand week after week, and now hearing from others who are beginning to have concerns, I find myself in a most precarious position. Obviously, I want to reach this group of teenagers for Jesus, but I also am passionate about investing myself and my team in the growth and discipleship of the scores of other students who come each week. When I find myself having to play policeman as a secondary objective, I realize that at some point something has got to give.

Part of me wants to pull these guys aside and get all up in their grill. "Don't you get it yet?!? It's about Jesus, not you! Stop playing around and wasting our time here. All you're doing is using us to get what you want and we're fed up with it. Either get with the program or don't come back!" Certainly we know that this is not the right answer, but inside it feels good to get those words out.

As I pondered this dilemma over coffee the other day with a man in my church who I meet with every other week, he carefully listened as I vented my story mixed with hope and frustration. Finally, he spoke up and asked a simple question: "What would Jesus do if He was in your shoes?" Now it's not that I had yet to ask myself that very same question, but truthfully it was not the question I was focusing on at the moment.

I let those words marinate in my brain for awhile. My mind took me to parts of the New Testament where Jesus carefully responded to many of the same kinds of scenarios that Christians face every day. How about after Jesus fed the 5,000 and they came back expecting more (John 6)? They didn't return to Jesus because they believed who He was; no, the came back wanting to get something of benefit from Him. Yet Jesus continued to love them and teach truth to them in spite of their obstinance.

Or how about the many miracles of Jesus that are recorded throughout the New Testament? The blind regaining their sight, the sick healed, the demon possessed set free, even the dead raised! Yet more often than not, we do not see a wholesale positive response to Jesus. His followers remain few, in spite of the wonderful things that He said and did. And yet in the midst of all of this, Jesus kept on preaching truth and extending grace in equal amounts. Do you remember the woman caught in adultery (John 8)? Jesus told her to leave her life of sin (truth) while simultaneously extending to her the hope that only He can bring (grace).

When it comes to grace and truth it is not either/or, but rather both/and. In remembering these examples of Jesus, I know that I will not continue to love these students who are causing disruptions any less, nor will I cease to continue proclaiming the gospel to them. But I also cannot watch as they destroy their own lives and disturb the lives of others around them. I will confront their sin, but I will do so offering the grace that comes only through the shed blood of Jesus.

None of this is rocket science. It's biblical and it's what most Bible believing Christian already hold to. Yet practically speaking, Christians have spent more time rebuking and correcting and even ostracizing those without the benefit of grace being a part of the conversation. If we refuse to season God's truth with the grace of Jesus, then we will find that our message, like that of the Pharisees, will go unheard, and for good reason. Truth without grace is like a cross without a Savior.

Why THAT church is better than your church

The conversation was going well with my pastor friend until the topic shifted to another church in his area. Apparently, talking about THAT church hit a nerve. Before I knew it, I was hearing an in depth analysis about THAT church and its pastor and how they are stealing people from all the other churches in the community. Stealing? Well maybe not "stealing" he admitted, but courting them with flashy worship and big events and the "cool factor" that other churches like his own couldn't pull off. And did you know, he asked, that they don't even preach the Bible there? In fact, in their worship services they play "secular" music. The substance in THAT church is about an inch deep and a mile wide, he told me.

I wasn't sure how to respond to such a scathing critique about this sister church. Probing a little deeper I found that my friend had never actually been in that church to observe these heretical phenomena nor did he personally know the pastor or any of the staff. But, he had heard enough from others to convince him that what was occurring in THAT church was no more than a spiritual sleight of hand. "Aren't many men and women coming to faith in Christ because of that church's ministry? Isn't this pastor using the church's resources for the greater good of the community so that the name of Jesus is getting out there?" I asked. Unable to honestly answer these questions without revealing his obvious bias and ignorance on the subject, my friend quickly delved deeper into character assassination. It was at this point that I excused myself so that I could go to the bathroom and vomit.

Now before you start scouring my social media friend lists to see who this guy was, I have to tell you that this actual conversation never happened. Rather, it is based upon a compilation of comments and complaints I have been hearing from other pastors and churchgoers who have expressed the exact same sentiments and opinions that I have typed above. It seems that when another church begins to flourish many of us feel threatened by their "success." As a result, we seek to get our hands on any information that we can that might detract from the work that God is doing through this particular ministry, whether it's being critical of the pastor's style of preaching, accusing them of being unbiblical, suggesting that they don't even preach the Bible, to claiming that all of their rapid growth is due to gimmicks and spiritual smoke and mirrors.

Are there churches and ministries that are not being faithful to the word of God? Yes! We see from time to time where a pastor (or his wife or other staff member) will say and do things that are obviously contrary to the teachings of Scripture, and in those instances we must stand up and declare what is true while calling these men and women to repentance. (Note: This is usually what we DON'T do because it is so much easier to post incriminating reports on social media and engage in blog-bashing as opposed to lovingly correcting our brothers and sisters when they are in the wrong)

More often than not when we see other churches growing and attracting people, we feel the need to compete rather than compliment, to be jealous rather than joyful. So many times we start our conversations about other churches with the words, "Yeah, they are really growing, but did you know..." We resort to finding critiques as to why they are growing instead of rejoicing that God is using them to bring men and women into His kingdom.

And do you truly want to know what is going on beneath the surface when we choose to pronounce judgment rather than proclaim praise for other church ministries? We are indicating how we see and feel about ourselves and our own ministries. When you don't feel good about yourself, it's easy to pull others down to your level. Oh, we do so in the name of biblical integrity and trying to "protect" others, but the truth of the matter is that if we were more concerned with seeing Jesus made famous in the lives of the men and women God has placed around us, we wouldn't have to wonder why God is using THAT church and not our own.  

John the Baptist said it best in John 3:30 when he said about Jesus, "He must increase, but I must decrease." As long as you are focusing on what you don't have and critiquing what others do, then you are seeking to increase yourself at the expense of Jesus. But when you raise Jesus to the preeminent place in your church and ministries that is reserved for Him alone, then you will find that you aren't so concerned or consumed with what God is doing in THAT church because you will be too busy with all that God is doing through YOUR church. 

What we learn about ourselves from others' failures

There has been a firestorm over the recent posting of a video in which Victoria Osteen literally opens the Pandora's box that all of her and her husband's critics have been anxiously waiting for. Don't get me wrong - what she said from the stage was nauseating and thoroughly unbiblical, yet the glee expressed from the Osteen's opponents was no less horrific.

As a conservative evangelical Christian, I get it. Joel Osteen and his wife have been less than forward with the truth of the gospel and have chosen instead to proclaim the merits of living a life where all God wants for you to be is happy. Their ministry is watched and heard by millions of people who in turn simply adore Joel and his wife, hanging on every word that they say. They make people feel important and special and valued by God. And indeed people are. But when any man or woman who claims to be God's mouthpiece speaks for God words that are not found in His word, then Houston, we've got a problem.

God does not simply desire our happiness. Nowhere in the Bible will you find God saying, "My supreme delight is that you be happy!" Instead, Scripture teaches that God desires for us to be holy (Leviticus 11:44-45 & 1 Peter 1:16). If it were not for God's grace poured out on us through Jesus Christ then we would have no hope of ever standing before Him. Yet because of the cross, we are declared righteous before God and He takes delight in us as His children (Romans 5:1-11).

You see, what Victoria Osteen said on stage was both biblically and doctrinally wrong. It simply was not true. We do not exist to "do good for our own self, not God." That is humanism to the core. Did she mean what she said? I honestly don't know because, truth be told, I do not follow the Osteen's ministry like many others do. Sure, I've heard about how "awful" they are, of the many heresies they utter, and how they are peddlers of the prosperity gospel. And if these are indeed true, I find it shameful and disgusting to the kingdom of God. Truth is truth, and you cannot spin it any way you want with feel good preaching.

That being said, my other thought about the whole Osteen incident is this - has anyone reached out to  correct them in a constructive way? Perhaps someone has. My hope is that any church leader in their position has plenty of others who are allowed to speak truth into their lives. Is there anything more dangerous than a leader who has no accountability?

So yes, my hope is that there is room for redemption for the Osteen's regarding their erroneous doctrine. I would love to see them confess the errors in their teaching and to commit to be ambassadors for God's truth. After all, they enjoy an enormous platform which carries with it the holy obligation to proclaim the truth of God. And I also hope that my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who wait in the wings to attack at the first sniff of error will strive to lean more on the grace and redemption side than the judgment and hell fire side.

I'm not so sure which is more disgusting, a preacher who perverts the word of God publicly or fellow Christians perched in ivory towers who ignore grace and mercy altogether. It's all pretty gross to me.

The Gospel + Something Else = Wrong Answer

In the spring of 1989 I plunged head first into the Greek system at Wake Forest University by joining a fraternity. True to what you may have been led to believe on TV or in books, many fraternities indeed ARE as crazy as you think, and my fraternity was on that list. Not all the fun that we had was destructive and evil - I have some really great memories and still keep up with some pretty awesome guys - but for the most part debauchery was the primary goal.

Now as a kid raised in a conservative Southern Baptist church, hedonism and Sunday school don't mix together too well. I knew all too well the lessons from the Bible and the truth that lay behind them, yet they were not enough to keep me from wanting to run to the dark side for a time and enjoy all of it's guilty pleasures. Was I properly taught the Scriptures? If I were truly saved, would I have gone down this wayward path? What went wrong?

You see, the Bible teaching that I received growing up was first rate and I would not trade it for the world. The problem that I encountered from many well-meaning Christians - and what many in Christian culture face as well - were all the "extras" that get pinned on the message of the gospel. Unlike the bonus features on a DVD or the hidden scene at the end of a the movie credits, these extras do not allow us to understand the greater extent of the gospel. In fact, they usually push us farther away.

The apostle Paul lived and ministered during a time when Christianity was beginning to explode in the Jewish and Gentile world in Asia Minor (the region including modern day Turkey). As he traveled throughout those countries, Paul would plant and oversee dozens of churches which were filled with new Christians, many of whom came from Jewish backgrounds. It was difficult for those new believers at times to forget all of the rituals and rules that they had to obey when they were followers of Judaism, and it was especially challenging for these new followers of Christ to believe that they no longer had to rely on the Jewish law for their salvation.

In his letters to the believers in Galatia and Colossae, Paul saw the need to address the issue that many were holding to: In order to be a Christian, you had to have the gospel + something else. For those churches that Paul was investing in, they had fallen into the trap that this "something else" they had to abide by was the ritual of circumcision. If they were to be considered true Christians then they MUST be circumcised. We often do the same thing today, although I'm glad it's not circumcision!

You fill in the blank with whatever "something else" you've been told that you have to do in order to be a "proper" Christian: Wear a coat and tie on Sunday, read a certain version of the Bible, avoid alcohol at all costs, sing to a certain type of music in worship, etc. Do you see how reckless and foolish this is? What if you fail at one of these? Does that mean you are aren't truly saved? Let me tell you why this perspective is truly dangerous: When we try to add anything to the gospel, then we are essentially telling Jesus that His cross was not enough. There has to be something that WE add to it in order to make our salvation secure. How ridiculous! How arrogant!

In his epistle to the Galatians, Paul addresses this issue head-on:

Christ has liberated us into freedom. Therefore stand firm and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery...For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision accomplishes anything; what matters is faith working through love...For you were called to freedom, brothers; only don't use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. (Galatians 5:1, 6, 13)

The gospel + something else is always the wrong answer. It's slavery because it adds to the gospel the impossibility that you have something that you can bring to bolster what Jesus did on the cross. In his epistle to the Colossians, Paul gives us this stern warning:

Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ. (Colossians 2:8)

Those people who try to be part of our spiritual upbringing by adding extra rules and regulations mean well but all they do is blur the lines between holiness and legalism. During my fraternity days I found that I could not live up to all of the extra spiritual expectations put on me by many well-meaning men and women, so I quit trying. It wasn't until a college pastor from my home church offered to walk alongside of me and extend to me a fresh perspective of God's grace that I began to walk out of darkness of that spiritual jungle.

The gospel is all that we need. If there was anything else that we had to bring to the table, then Jesus would not have bothered to go to the cross. And while almost every single Christian that I know believes this, most still live as if all those "extras" are essential if they are to be accepted by God. Indeed we are called to live holy and pure lives, not so that we can strengthen the salvation we have in Christ but rather as an expression of love and obedience to the One who has saved us.

If you want to lead people then learn to manage your time (and theirs)

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You know this person I am about to write about. In fact, you may actually be this person and are unaware that you are. Who am I talking about? The person who sucks the life right out of you, the one who demands more time than you can give and lets you know if you have not catered to his or her needs enough, that’s who.

Now before you dismiss this as crass and insensitive, reserve your judgment for a few moments. I don’t believe that there is a church (or civic organization or school PTA or recreation sports league or community group for that matter) that has been spared from at least one individual who demanded that she get most of the attention. She dominates the conversations. He insists that you listen to his views before anyone else. She dismisses what you have to say as trivial and out of touch. He does not think you are paying enough attention to his child as a leader/mentor/coach/teacher. She always has an opinion and is not afraid to share it. Even if you wanted to ignore what he is saying, his voice is so loud you can’t tune him out.

Now do you know who I’m talking about? I call this person the time hoarder.

For time hoarders enough is never enough, and if you are in a position of leadership then you understand how difficult it is to balance the already limited amount of time that you have. It’s a struggle to manage your own schedule, so how do you respond to that man or woman who insists that you cater to their needs before those of any other?

You learn to manage their time for them. 

What does that mean? Am I saying that you grab their daily planner and chart the course for each day for them? No, but it would be awesome if you could because then you could make sure that you are not on their schedule! Managing a time hoarder means that you help them to honor your schedule when they are seeking out your time.

Here’s how this might look. Mary is an anxious mother who finds all sorts of things to worry about with her middle school son Sean. If she sees a suspicious looking doodle on his notebook or the name of a friend and phone number on a slip of paper of a friend she does not know, she automatically shifts into overbearing mode and wants to know every detail of, well, everything. Mary comes to you because, as Sean’s youth minister, you are supposed to figure this out. What it is that you are supposed to do isn’t quite clear yet, but Mary wants to make sure that you are up to date with all of the information that you need so that you can properly lead her son.

There have been numerous Wednesday evenings when you were the last one out of the church building again because Mary needed to unload a new list of information on you. Do you remember that day trip to the mountains that you planned last fall? The one where you sent home enough information about to run a small factory? Mary called you at least three times asking the same questions about the same details that you had already given to her. If there is a bad question to ask or an inopportune time to ask it, Mary surely isn’t aware of it.

So it’s Saturday night at your home and since there are no football or basketball games being played, Saturday night in your home is family night. That means homemade pizza, popcorn, and a movie. There is no other night of the week quite like Saturday because it’s the one time during the week that you and your spouse and your kids can all be together without any other obligations pulling at you. Just as you are serving slices of pizza dripping with cheese, your cell phone rings. Because you are a leader in your church, you always check to see who is calling you just in case another church leader needs to get important information to you. When you look at the caller ID you draw back in horror. It’s Mary! What do you do?

Quickly your mind races through every scenario. Perhaps it really is an emergency and she needs you to come to the hospital because Sean has been in a horrible accident. Or maybe she found out that her sister has cancer and she needs someone from the church to come over and pray with the family for a miracle. But more than likely, Mary is calling you because she wants to know who is going to chaperone the next youth event even though you have already given her a full list of names. Do you chance it and answer the phone?

Please understand that I believe with all of my heart that ministry is about people. First and foremost, it’s about the person of Jesus who always seemed to have time for everybody. And if Jesus could stare down exhaustion and heal one more person and deliver one more sermon, then we can certainly go the extra mile to be there when people are in the deepest of crises. But let’s be honest with each other – there are those time hoarders whose only crisis is their next individual need. You need a strategy do manage their time with you so that they don’t manage your time for you, so let’s put a strategy in place.

First, identity the time hoarders in your life. This should not be too hard. After all, it has probably only taken you a matter of weeks to figure out who it is that demands most of your time and attention. When you identify the time hoarders around you then you will know how to handle the situations that they bring your way.

Second, seek discernment from the Lord. Jesus seemingly had time for everyone, but you aren’t Jesus. You need all the help you can get from the Lord when it comes to leading people. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment for those specific people that have the propensity to chew up your schedule and drain the life out of you. Also, preach the gospel to yourself. Jesus extends grace to us, so we must extend grace to others even when we know that we must be firm with them. The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for us reminds us of how we are to lay down our own lives and interests for those of others. Seeking discernment from the Lord will let you know when you need to give that extra time even to a time hoarder.

Third, establish boundaries that you do not allow them to cross. When that person who hoards your time starts in on you again, set a mental timer in your head and know when the alarm needs to sound. In other words, set a time limit with a time hoarder and stick to it. You don’t have to be rude to them in doing this, just up front and firm. Let them know that you value their time and that you most certainly want to help them in their situation but that you have other obligations that are pressing on you as well. Make sure that you do get back to them but do so in a manner that does not rope you in to a more lengthy time-consuming conversation (i.e., send them an email or call them on the phone). Just because someone else does not respect your time does not mean that you have to let them dictate your time for you.

Fourth, be okay with not being accessible 24/7. Yes, I know that you need to be available for any situation that arises within your ministry, but you don’t necessarily have to accessible. When Mary calls you during family night supper, let her leave you a message. If it’s truly an emergency then you will do what needs to be done, but more likely than not she is asking a question that can be answered the next day when you see her at church. Should you choose to pick up the phone and allow her to drain you of your valuable family time, then you will most certainly put a damper on much needed time with your family.