Each one of our four children has such a distinct and special personality, which is awesome and challenging at the same time. Our youngest (she's four) is the most spirited (i.e., stubborn) of the bunch and my wife and I constantly have to find creative ways to move her in a positive direction without breaking her spirit. Most recently we have begun to give her choices for the things she needs to do when faced with a stalemate in her behavior. For instance, if it's time to take a bath and she begins to protest, we give her the choice of taking a bath or going straight to bed without a bedtime story. Inevitably, she will choose the better option, which is what we were aiming for all along and which also gives her the sense that she is making the decision on her own.
But it's not always this clean.
There are times when we are in a hurry or she wants to park herself in the middle of the road and pick up a couple of new favorite rocks. In moments like these there isn't a whole lot of room for diplomacy. Sometimes we have to pick her up and physically move her to a safer and move viable location. It's for her own good even if at the time she thinks we are just cramping her style.
How we choose to handle these moments with our daughter, or any of our other children for that matter, serves as an opportunity for us to instruct and grow them. If I lose my temper (which almost never happens...) and react with anger, then I find that I often reap ill-tempered children. My intentions are good but my methodology sometimes stinks.
When it comes to my family I want my children to see that I actually do love and follow this Jesus that I talk to them so much about. When I blow it and my words are harsh, they don't see Jesus. They see an angry father whose caustic words keep them from growing and learning. This doesn't mean that I need to transform into some spaced out Mr. Rogers who never corrects them as I sugar coat everything. There are some things that just can't be left to the side. If I never discipline my children then I will be doing them a great disservice.
I've learned that when I take the time to calmly discuss issues with my kids, they almost always are willing to listen and change. And when I listen to what they have to say, well, that changes everything. When this occurs, then there is room for second chances - both for them and for me.
People are a lot like children. They want to be addressed with respect and in turn have their voices heard. Just like with children, it doesn't mean that everyone will get their way. They probably won't. But to have the chance to be heard and not be talked down to is invaluable for most of us.
But what if someone is pushing an agenda that we strongly disagree with? What if what they desire is so diametrically opposed to what we believe in the core of our souls is right? How do we handle those situations?
How does God handle us? With grace, that's how. Some may say that you can't give grace to those who are pushing harmful agendas because that would be akin to condoning their behavior and beliefs. But grace doesn't condone sin; it covers it. Grace forgives in spite of. Grace patiently waits for conviction to do its work and then grace serves as the messenger of God's truth to redeem and restore the lost and the broken. Grace does all of this without casting even more stones because that's why we need grace in the first place - we've blown it.
Grace is the mirror God uses to show us just how unworthy we are while highlighting just how beautiful He is. And once we are captured by His grace, we can now see others in light of that grace. Not to approve their behavior or choices but rather to love them in spite of those things. Just as God has done for us through Jesus Christ.
If you are a follower of Christ, you have sung the beautiful songs of God's glory and redemption and healing and love. You wouldn't sing songs in church about how awful people are or how badly they will suffer apart from Christ. That's not praiseworthy. No, you would take this great love that grace has lavished upon you and share it with everyone you could. The lost, the hurting, the broken would be the recipients of this truth because you would be unafraid to love them just as Christ was willing to die for you.
There is a lot happening in the landscape all around us. Many on both sides of faith are arguing and fighting and in bitter disagreement over issues. In light of this, may followers of Christ not forget the beautiful role that grace plays as they stand on their godly and biblical convictions.
But it's not always this clean.
There are times when we are in a hurry or she wants to park herself in the middle of the road and pick up a couple of new favorite rocks. In moments like these there isn't a whole lot of room for diplomacy. Sometimes we have to pick her up and physically move her to a safer and move viable location. It's for her own good even if at the time she thinks we are just cramping her style.
How we choose to handle these moments with our daughter, or any of our other children for that matter, serves as an opportunity for us to instruct and grow them. If I lose my temper (which almost never happens...) and react with anger, then I find that I often reap ill-tempered children. My intentions are good but my methodology sometimes stinks.
When it comes to my family I want my children to see that I actually do love and follow this Jesus that I talk to them so much about. When I blow it and my words are harsh, they don't see Jesus. They see an angry father whose caustic words keep them from growing and learning. This doesn't mean that I need to transform into some spaced out Mr. Rogers who never corrects them as I sugar coat everything. There are some things that just can't be left to the side. If I never discipline my children then I will be doing them a great disservice.
I've learned that when I take the time to calmly discuss issues with my kids, they almost always are willing to listen and change. And when I listen to what they have to say, well, that changes everything. When this occurs, then there is room for second chances - both for them and for me.
People are a lot like children. They want to be addressed with respect and in turn have their voices heard. Just like with children, it doesn't mean that everyone will get their way. They probably won't. But to have the chance to be heard and not be talked down to is invaluable for most of us.
But what if someone is pushing an agenda that we strongly disagree with? What if what they desire is so diametrically opposed to what we believe in the core of our souls is right? How do we handle those situations?
How does God handle us? With grace, that's how. Some may say that you can't give grace to those who are pushing harmful agendas because that would be akin to condoning their behavior and beliefs. But grace doesn't condone sin; it covers it. Grace forgives in spite of. Grace patiently waits for conviction to do its work and then grace serves as the messenger of God's truth to redeem and restore the lost and the broken. Grace does all of this without casting even more stones because that's why we need grace in the first place - we've blown it.
Grace is the mirror God uses to show us just how unworthy we are while highlighting just how beautiful He is. And once we are captured by His grace, we can now see others in light of that grace. Not to approve their behavior or choices but rather to love them in spite of those things. Just as God has done for us through Jesus Christ.
If you are a follower of Christ, you have sung the beautiful songs of God's glory and redemption and healing and love. You wouldn't sing songs in church about how awful people are or how badly they will suffer apart from Christ. That's not praiseworthy. No, you would take this great love that grace has lavished upon you and share it with everyone you could. The lost, the hurting, the broken would be the recipients of this truth because you would be unafraid to love them just as Christ was willing to die for you.
There is a lot happening in the landscape all around us. Many on both sides of faith are arguing and fighting and in bitter disagreement over issues. In light of this, may followers of Christ not forget the beautiful role that grace plays as they stand on their godly and biblical convictions.
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