Last night I was flipping through the channels and noticed that FOX was airing a documentary of sorts about the infamous "Octomom", Nadya Suleman, the woman who had octuplets after already having 6 other children of her own. She has created quite a bit of controversy over the past year and has been a diva for both tabloids and talk shows. Many have strong opinions about her and her decision to have this many children. While I didn't tune in to the whole show (there was baseball game on that was way more entertaining) I did see enough to form some opinions of my own and to have some opinions thrust upon me.
Before we go any further, let's get the facts straight about who the Octomom is. Nadya had six children previous to her octuplets, and all were conceived by in-vitro fertilization. She revealed on the show that she had eight frozen embryos left and decided to implant all of them, which in turn resulted in the eight new children. When she had the eight children she was living with her other six in a three bedroom home with her mother and she was desperate to move out and into a place of her own before she began bringing the new babies home from the hospital.
Now, I won't go into great detail about the rest of the show but certain aspects glared back at me from the screen that I couldn't ignore. Nadya's relationship with her mom was shaky at best. They argued about her decision to have these other eight babies for the whole world to see and, while I'm sure I would hold some pretty strong opinions if my daughter chose this same path, I'm also pretty sure I would discuss it away from the camera's eye. Another area that struck me was the way the film crew portrayed life in Nadya's home. Chaos ruled that house, which probably surprised no one, yet it seemed as if the film crew went out of their way to show only negativity. One obvious instance of this was seen in a clip that they filmed on Mother's Day. The cameraman went around to each of Nadya's six older children and he was attempting to get each one to say "Happy Mother's Day" to her on camera. Yet in each instance these kids seemed shy and reticent to do so on camera, which as a father of four I can completely understand. These kids weren't used to having all of this sudden intrusion into their lives, yet the producers of this show made it look as if no one on earth - not even her own children - desired to wish Nadya well even on Mother's Day.
Please know I am not taking sides for or against Nadya Suleman. I have no idea what goes on in this woman's mind to make her want to have 14 children that she is trying to raise all alone without the help of a biological father (which in each case remains a mystery). It saddened me to see such beautiful children thrust into that kind of a spotlight that would probably never go away (hello Jon and Kate).
As a parent I have a keen understanding of the value of children. Psalm 127:3-5 tells us that "Children are a reward...Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them." I'm not so sure what defines a full quiver, but 14 seems pretty full. But I also believe that parents have a divine responsibility to care for each child that they have on an individual level. It's a struggle at times for Kellie and I to meet the needs of each of our four kids even when we work together, so I can only imagine the tremendous challenge that lays ahead for Nadya as she tries to nurture 14 children all by herself. Perhaps I was most burdened by the footage of her older six children. They were portrayed as almost "extras," unwilling participants in a drama that was unfolding all around them. It is one thing to profess publicly your love for your children. It is a whole other issue as to whether you can daily demonstrate and share that love with each individual child.
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