At the risk of being made fun of I have a confession to make. I love to clean my house. Before you demand that I turn in my man card let me explain. I am someone who is semi-obsessed with being in control, and with as much chaos as there is in my house with 4 kids I seek order whenever I can find it. So when I fire up the Kirby and start making those uniform lines in the carpet, I feel as if I'm gaining back a little bit of my sanity.
This whole desire to be in control is yet another reason why it makes no real sense for me to leave my current ministry in two weeks with no other "official" ministry to go to. Just today I heard that Francis Chan has made a decision very similar to mine. He is resigning his position as senior pastor at Cornerstone Church to step out in a new, unknown direction. When asked about his future plans, he doesn't know but believes strongly that if he doesn't trust God to lead him in a new direction then it would be hypocritical of him. I don't personally know Francis Chan but it's almost eerie how his words have echoed mine as I seek this next step in ministry.
What I have come to realize is that if I seek to be in control of certain areas of my life, especially of the ministry to which God has called me, then I am being disobedient to Him. By that I mean that I would be forsaking His guidance and His voice in favor of my own preferences and personal desires. It's not wrong to want to serve God in certain capacities, but I can't tell God what those things have to be. What I am called to do - and I know this with certainty - is to glorify God with every aspect of my personal and ministerial life, and I do this by seeking Him with every fiber of my being.
Perhaps Kellie and I will find ourselves in Africa or in an urban area somewhere in America. Or maybe we'll wind up out west ministering to people that have little access to the gospel, planting a church or two along the way. Regardless of what is next there is a rush involved with all of the uncertainly surrounding the future. But the true thrill comes in knowing that God is the catalyst of this move and that whatever the outcome it has been completely orchestrated by Him. I'm glad that I don't have to be in control of that.
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